C'mon, Roseanne and John Carter, Put This Shit Out on DVD...

Sorry, No I Vomit Or I Head

Friday's Brain Teaser

Name a word or phrase that sounds dirty but isn't. (I'm sure Joe will excel at this.)

I'll start us off with two:

1) throwing a rod

2) finger tight

C'mon, you're not actually going to WORK on a Friday, are you?

Bastardos take on the Big Questions

Tonight presented me with a moral dilemma. Put yourself in my shoes and make a choice: You’re standing in line at Target, just before closing. It’s that magical time of the night when no retail employee could possibly give a flying flip about anything. As the woman standing in front of you is checking out, you notice that her child is positioned in her basket so that the clerk cannot see a small stack of items in the corner. (At the top of the stack is some kind of electronic Elmo toy, by the way.) She’s settling up with the clerk and now strolling towards the door, the unpaid-for items in the basket.

What Would Los Bastardos Do?
a)Be a corporate tattle-tale and hope they don't take the young mother to jail and child to foster care?
b)Be a moral coward and do nothing whatsoever, allowing shoplifting to raise prices for the honest?
c)Utilize her clever method in the future for your own small but pricey purchases?

Give me your answer and I’ll tell what I did (or did not) do. Oh, and you have no more than 1 minute to decide.

It's not easy being green muthafu*&%s

Here's some real angst.

Huminah Huminah Huminah

Amy Winehouse. Holy Christ.

We Apologize

Recent newsletter clipping from my place of employement. Hoo boy.

Dave, This One's For You

Hard Drive Inspector 2.2 is on Giveaway of the Day. New version supports some USB drives!

As always, you must download and install today or it's no good. Retails for $29.95.

Powerpop Hit List

1. Kool Thing-Sonic Youth
2. New York City-They Might Be Giants
3. Oliver's Army-EC & the A.s
4. The World at Large-Modest Mouse
5. Teenage Kicks-Undertones
6. Need You Around-Smoking Popes
7. Kids in America-Kim Wilde
8. Holiday-Weezer
9. Calling All-The La's
10. Santeria-Sublime
11. Sou. Central Rain-REM
12. Your Love-The Outfield
13. Candy Floss-Wilco
14. Seven Nation Army-White Stripes
15. I Don't Like Mondays-Boomtown Rats

Wow, that was exhausting.

This Is Refreshing

I was surprised to stumble onto this article at Wikipedia: Why Wikipedia is not so great.

Here are some of my faves ...

1) The self-esteem of a bad writer with a fragile ego may be damaged by people always correcting horrible prose, redundancies, bad grammar and spelling. Especially if they do more than just correct, and lecture the poor person.

2) Articles tend to be whatever-centric. People point out whatever is exceptional about their home province, tiny town or bizarre hobby, without noting frankly that their home province is completely unremarkable, their tiny town is not really all that special or that their bizarre hobby is, in fact, bizarre. In other words, articles tend to a sympathetic point of view on all obscure topics or places.

3) The writing quality of some articles is terrible.

Quick, Mike Lurker...

Name your ten (no, fifteen) favorite powerpop songs. Do it. Now!

The Joker's Boner

I'm definitely in touch with my inner 12 year old, 'cause this shit never gets old.

If it's springtime, it's Superdickery!

The Onion

The Onion has started producing fake news videos a la Jon Stewart. It's in line with the Onion's totally fictional satire as opposed to Stewart's reporters' making real people look like idiots, so it's not quite as funny. There are only one or two videos up at this point, but they're worth wasting 2 minutes, 22 seconds over.

Clear The Decks, Ladies

Better finish whatever you're currently reading before May 1. Michael Chabon's got a new one coming out that's rumored to be as good or better than The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier & Clay.

Book Description

For sixty years, Jewish refugees and their descendants have prospered in the Federal District of Sitka, a "temporary" safe haven created in the wake of revelations of the Holocaust and the shocking 1948 collapse of the fledgling state of Israel. Proud, grateful, and longing to be American, the Jews of the Sitka District have created their own little world in the Alaskan panhandle, a vibrant, gritty, soulful, and complex frontier city that moves to the music of Yiddish. For sixty years they have been left alone, neglected and half-forgotten in a backwater of history. Now the District is set to revert to Alaskan control, and their dream is coming to an end: once again the tides of history threaten to sweep them up and carry them off into the unknown.

But homicide detective Meyer Landsman of the District Police has enough problems without worrying about the upcoming Reversion. His life is a shambles, his marriage a wreck, his career a disaster. He and his half-Tlingit partner, Berko Shemets, can't catch a break in any of their outstanding cases. Landsman's new supervisor is the love of his life—and also his worst nightmare. And in the cheap hotel where he has washed up, someone has just committed a murder—right under Landsman's nose. Out of habit, obligation, and a mysterious sense that it somehow offers him a shot at redeeming himself, Landsman begins to investigate the killing of his neighbor, a former chess prodigy. But when word comes down from on high that the case is to be dropped immediately, Landsman soon finds himself contending with all the powerful forces of faith, obsession, hopefulness, evil, and salvation that are his heritage—and with the unfinished business of his marriage to Bina Gelbfish, the one person who understands his darkest fears.

At once a gripping whodunit, a love story, an homage to 1940s noir, and an exploration of the mysteries of exile and redemption, The Yiddish Policemen's Union is a novel only Michael Chabon could have written.

Pick it up over to the Amazon.

Avaterrifc!

Thanks for the assistance, Jaime. I feel like Pinocchio must have felt when he first became a boy. Or like Michael Corleone at the hospital, realizing his true destiny. "I'm with you now, Bastardos. I'm with you."

My avatar beat the deadline; the pink boots sleep with the fishes!

LBU Merchandise Now Available

I think we should all get matching t-shirts now, or maybe window stickers, like this one! We can get jackets, coffee mugs and more. Check it out at the link below.

http://www.lbu.edu/Merchant2/merchant.mvc?Screen=CTGY&Category_Code=Miscellaneous_Items

LBU Is One Today

Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday to you
Re vera, potas bene
Will you live to see two?

Jesse Malin - Glitter in the Gutter

Picked this up today. It's got guest appearances by Josh Homme, Ryan Adams, Jakob Dylan and Bruce Springsteen (an actual duet). I haven't made it all the way through it yet, but it sounds pretty good. I loved his last two albums, and this one's getting good reviews (though a cover of 'Bastards of Young' is regrettable).

Anyway, For Thee, Pendejos.

My Wife Has Been Playing This Game For Years

An Edict from Above for Newbie Lurker Mike:

It has come to the attention of the Inner Sanctum of the Exalted Cabal that Newbie Lurker Mike has failed to incorporate an avatar into his profile. This causes great consternation as the reader of various posts must look for his name and not identify him by some witty image. Avatars for the other members were carefully chosen to reflect the personalities of the various bloggers: bobble-headed knick knack nerd for Dave; Leering, smug cartoon icon for Jay; Corpse of a cartoon for Joe. Newbie, you are hereby directed to create an avatar for your account by no later than the Monday three days hence. A smashing suggestion was made several posts back, but you may choose your own. Failure to do so will result in excommunication from the Bastardos, with heavy fines to be paid upon expulsion. Go forth! Go forth!*

* For technical issues re: avatars, please see Jay, leering, smug cartoon icon.

Pulp Fiction Typography

Uh ... You'll be wantin' headphones.

Speaking of Stuff from Scandanavia.. Elling

This wonderful little film from Norway is so well-done it will almost certainly be turned into a disgustingly sweet and obnoxiously heart-warming hollywood remake in the near future. Accept no immitations! Pop this one into your Netflix queue today and they'll send it to you, if I ever decide to return it. As an added bonus, both characters will remind you a lot of Jay.

Catchy Catchy Catchy Catchy

I heard this song on the radio today and almost had an accident it was so good. Swedish band called Peter, Bjorn and John. Maybe you've heard it. I don't know how new it is.



MP3 here.

Tee Hee

I thought it was gone forever, but I dug up a never-before-heard two part interview with Jim Dickinson on the recording of Big Star's Third/Sister Lovers. Lots of little known bits of trivia here.

How did I come by it, you may ask? A friend of mine knows Dickinson and recorded this with him about 12 years ago.

Everyone but Joe may download it from the Frilly Transsexual Princess in about ten minutes.

On a Happier Note...

From The Fix:

Calvert DeForest, the character actor best know for his long-running Larry "Bud" Melman character on "Late Night With David Letterman," died on Monday in New York. He was 85. Letterman said in a statement released yesterday: "To our staff and to our viewers, he was a beloved and valued part of our show, and we will miss him." (Los Angeles Times) ... In other obituary news, authorities announced that Charles Harrelson, Woody Harrelson's dad, died of a heart attack earlier this month at a Supermax prison in Colorado, where he was serving two life sentences for murdering a federal judge. (Guardian)

Larry "Bud" Melman was still alive? Woody Harrelson's dad murdered a federal judge? Jay's gay?

Found It!

What a cock.

I wonder what size smoking jacket I wear.....

My interview with John Wesley Harding for Being There, a pop culture online mag from Toronto, is finally up- and I got the 'cover'! Read the interview here and then dump buckets of praise on me for my hard-hitting, in-depth interview style. Boy can I make 'em squirm.

Because I Tolerate You.......

Due to semi-popular demand, I've added another Bob Dylan Theme Time Radio Broadcast to the FTP. The theme this time is drinking, and it is an excellent show. If you guys are into RapidShare and all that, all the shows are archived here. You'll be amazed at the huge collection.

And Now Back to the Music

While I'm not one of those fans who won't allow my favorite artists to grow and experiment, I also like it when said growth and experimentation is still as good as what attracted me to them in the first place. Case in point, Wilco. I have loved Jeff Tweedy since his Uncle Tupelo days and jumped up and down over the first two Wilco albums. The next three...not so much. I really liked them, and they each had some great moments, but (everybody has one) they got kind of boring after a few listens. Still, I have liked each enough to run out and buy the next one and really enjoyed the "Ghost Is Born" tracks the three times I saw Wilco live (including a taping of 'Austin City Limits').

With a new album out in May, they are streaming a track, "What Light" on their website, or you can download a zip file of it here. It sounds more like the rootsy stuff of early days, if not quite so rocking. If nothing else, it's made me enough of a potential sucker to buy yet another one of their records.

DeLay Gets Ass Handed To Him By ... Meredith Vieira?

Don't know if anybody saw the interview this morning on Today, but it was beautiful. Meredith Vieira interviewed Tom DeLay about his new book, No Retreat, No Surrender ... Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! ... heh heh ... ha ... HA HA HA HA HA! ... heh heh ... Whoo! Nothing like a good laugh in the morning ...

Anyway, Vieira talked about the book briefly and then raked him over the fucking coals for the remainder of the segment. I haven't seen tap dancing like that since Gregory Hines and Savion Glover faced off at the American Tap Dance Foundation's New York City Tap Festival! DeLay became visibly uncomfortable, and when Vieira asked him who he liked for the Republican primary, in perhaps the most bizarre political non sequitur I've ever heard, he answered that he thought Bush was doing a fine job. (???) She wouldn't even let that go, forcing him to admit that he wouldn't say.

If it pops up on YouTube, I'll post it.

Bong Hits 4 Jesus

The highest court in our land is considering whether a student was within his constitutional rights to display this sign across the street from his school. It may seem silly, but it's actually a pretty interesting issue, with some unusual collegues lining up on each side. Oh, and ever wonder what Ken Starr is up to these days? Representing the school that suspended the student for this! More here: http://www.cnn.com/2007/LAW/03/19/scotus.bonghits.ap/index.html

R.E.M. & The Rock 'N' Roll Hollow Fame

I don't know about you guys, but I've come to think that the Rock 'n' Roll Hall of Fame is a steaming crock o' shit, its members determined by a room full of geriatrics pretending they're still relevant in an industry that left them behind decades ago. (Oops, the Pynchon must be getting to me.) Check out the list of inductees and you'll see that it's laughably scattershot, almost as if bands were chosen by free association.

But I happened to catch Eddie Vedder's induction speech for R.E.M. the other night, and I must say it was rather moving. Mr. Vedder is actually a pretty funny guy, and much more self-deprecating than I would have suspected. Michael Stipe and Peter Buck said a few heartfelt thanks, and then the band proceeded to rip into "Begin the Begin," "Gardening At Night," "Man on the Moon," and the Stooges' "I Wanna Be Your Dog."

Today I've spent the morning listening to the R.E.M. albums that had a profound impact on me in high school. (That would be Reckoning, Fables of the Reconstruction, and Lifes Rich Pageant, in case you're curious.) And I must say, I'd forgotten how good this stuff is. So maybe the Rock 'n' Roll Hall of Fame does serve some noble purpose after all, to remind us of what made these bands so amazing in the first place. Maybe it's not just some bullshit marketing ploy to help drive tourist traffic to the museum.

On the other hand, I'm not sure it counts if the noble purpose is unintended.

The beauty that is Interstate 10

So I did Jacksonville, Fl to Austin, Tx in a Subaru Impreza with the kids in the back and the old lady griping all the way. Fun, fun, fun!

The job hunt improved, and there were some promising developments. Hopefully something will come up in Jacksonville. I spoke with one old private university that has done next to nothing with technology, and a Community College that has all kinds of things going on. Both could use a man like Joe, but whether the budget can afford him or not remains to be seen.

Let's get serious about St. Patrick's Day....

You know, it bothers me that in this country we have reduced the Irish to a beer-swilling, green-clad caricature. All the pithy sayings, the forward-looking toasts, and the alcoholic-as-poet archetype do nothing to recognize the incredible gifts the Irish have brought to western civilization. In fact, if not for the monks in the remote areas of Ireland, much of the literature we now hold as the foundations of western thought might not even exist anymore. In reality, the Irish penchant for bonhomie is really just a salve for the centuries of pain, famine, and subjugation this gifted people have had to withstand. The thanks we give them? Choosing a day to get drunk on green beer and carry on with ridiculously bad Irish accents that do nothing but besmirch the quickly disappearing tongue of this ancient race. Shame on humanity for lowering ourselves to this standard. In fact I ...... I ....... I ............. Oh fuck it! Kiss me blarneys, boys!

Ides of March: Significance in World and Punk Rock History

Caesar summoned the Senate to meet in Pompeii’s Theater on the Ides of March, (March 15) 44 BC. According to the Greek biographer Plutarch, a few days before, the soothsayer Titus Vestricius Spurinna apparently warned Caesar, "Beware the Ides of March." Caesar disregarded the warning. As the Senate convened, Caesar was attacked and stabbed to death by a group of senators. –Wikipedia

And in 1985, the punk group Thee Mighty Ceasars, fronted by Billy Childish, released their second album entitled “Beware the Ides of March,” which incidentally, was attacked and stabbed to death by a group of music critics.

Again With The Thankfulness

Scary math: More homes, fewer buyers

"The problem with subprime lenders means there will be more homes in an over-supplied market and not as many people who can step in to make purchases."

I ran across this article the other day, and heaved another sigh of relief. (That is, in fact, a satellite photo of my old house.)

You Want Beyond Beautiful? Cinque Terre!

A friend is planning a trip to Italy and asked me where to go. My answer is: the cinque terre, or 5 villages, overlooking the med. Accessible only by train or boat-- no cars! Nice hiking trails between them, it's a place of relentless beauty. Wherever else you go in the land of vendettas and vermicelli, you can't miss this one.

Seems like everyone I talk to is planning a trip somewhere. I'm starting to think about Italy, maybe next Spring.

Reunionmania!

Our dear friends at Something Awful have posted another rib-tickler regarding all of the current band reunions heading our way. Funny. A sample is posted below, with the full article found here.

The Police

The best known line-up: Sting, Stewart Copeland and Andy Summers.

Time Apart: A little over two decades, barring a few one-off performances.

Reason for Breakup: Sting wanted to pursue a solo career, and unfortunately for the world, he did. The band never officially "broke up," but I can only assume that each successive easy-listening barf-o-rama from Sting made the prospect of reunion more and more shameful to the other members.Reason for Reuniting: God only knows. It must have taken some kind of miracle, and possibly the aid of heavy machinery, to drag Sting out of his own butthole. Oh, and money.

After all these years, the Police still have the same magic that they had in their prime: none whatsoever. Even before the world knew that Ace Face was actually a hideous new-age tantric jazz hippie, it was perfectly possible to hate him for being the frontman of one of the dullest groups of the 80s. His mom-friendly reggae inflections combined with the band's annoyingly competent musicianship to create five LPs of declawed, phony new wave pabulum for yuppies, critics and girls.

Now that we know that Sting dreams of blue turtles, lies in fields of gold and performs with Yo-Yo Ma at the Olympics, there is not a single reasonable excuse for not hating him. Why should we care that he's rejoining his band and returning to his rock roots? His rock roots sprouted into a majestic oak of crap, the horror of which no musician alive can ever hope to match, unless Dave Matthews gets blasted with radiation and mutates into an atomic superpussy. Fuck the Police.

- Dr. David Thorpe

Proposed Avatar For The New Guy

The Devil's Dictionary

What’s with this insomnia business? Now you’ve got me doing it!

I couldn’t sleep last night, so I started thumbing through Ambrose Bierce’s The Devil’s Dictionary. It’s full of some wonderfully acerbic satire. Here are a few sample definitions:

Bigot, n. One who is obstinately and zealously attached to an opinion that you do not entertain.

Cabbage, n. A familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise as a man’s head.

Infidel, n. In New York, one who does not believe in the Christian religion; in Constantinople, one who does.

Egotist, n. A person of low taste, more interested in himself than in me.

Present, n. That part of eternity dividing the domain of disappointment from the realm of hope.

It may not cure your insomnia, but is a less extreme option than needle-eye Jay’s suggestion (exercise).

Amazing Amateur Lightsaber Film

This may be the most impressive amateur film I've ever seen.

You can also download a hi-res version here.

He Got Joo-Joo Eyeball

I had to go back in for yet another round of eyeball fixin' yesterday, after noticing a change in the blind spot in my left eye. The good news is, they were able to see me yesterday. The bad news is, they were able to see me yesterday.

Instead of using a laser to cut off the blood supply to the blind spot, they now inject a solution directly into the eye. WITH A NEEDLE.

Of course, they put numbing drops in, but even with that, I could still feel the needle pressing on the surface, and then the give (for lack of a better term) as the needle punctured my eye.

The really weird part is, I could see the solution being injected. It reminded me of the bubbly intro to Pop-Up Video - remember that show?

So my eye is red and achy today, I can't wear contacts, and I go back in a week to see if it worked. The solution only costs $30.00, but the injection costs $900.00. Insurance may or may not cover it, but I think I'm only liable for allowable charges, which I think is the $30.00 part.

And for the next three days, I have to use antibiotic drops that cost $75.00 and burn like Joe's VD. Loverly.

From our friends at the Onion, some good news at last...

GWYNEDD, Wales (The Onion) -- Calling it the planet's last, best hope for saving rock music, the Guardians of the Protectorate of Rock announced Monday that they would take the extraordinary step of unleashing a never-before-heard Jimmy Page riff, hidden for decades in a mythic, impenetrable vault.

"We who believe in the immortality of rock took a vow 30 years ago that we would never release this incredibly powerful force unless we faced a Day of Reckoning -- and that day has come," said Black Sabbath guitarist Tony Iommi, one of the chosen few who helped forge the Secret Vault to Save Rock and Roll, at a press conference in the Welsh highlands. "Just look at the pop charts, and you shall know I speak the truth."

"Let's give rock and roll its #%*@ing balls back," he added.

The Guardians said recent developments in the music world, such as the unaccountable popularity of the Dixie Chicks and Sufjan Stevens, have created a "perfect storm of lameness" from which rock might never recover. While Iommi refused to say when the vault would be opened, hard-rock sources believe it will take place just prior to next month's Fall Out Boy-Honda Civic tour, which many fear will suck the remaining lifeblood from all that still rocks.

"Citizens of Rock, we refuse to stand idly by any longer," ZZ Top founder and Protectorate High Elder Billy Gibbons said. "When a puss like James Blunt is allowed to rule the airwaves, we must respond by exposing this monster riff, and blowing minds into the stratosphere."

The Protectorate, devoted to the preservation of badass jams and blistering guitar solos, was reportedly formed in the 1970s during the rise of adult contemporary music. According to legend, the riff, played only once by Page and recorded on a special cobalt record, contains the raw power, mind-blowing skill, and unbridled passion of all the Guardians combined. Recently translated parchments from the era describe it as a soul-searing power-chord progression faintly resembling a cross between "Smoke On The Water" and "Living Loving Maid," but "basically defying all description."

It is believed that, upon the riff's release, even those who claim that the genre is dead will have no choice but to pump their fists, bang their heads, and bow down to the gods of rock for all eternity.

"May God have mercy on our souls for what we are about to set loose upon the world," proclaimed Queen guitarist Brian May, dressed in druidic robes and bathed in the rising blue smoke of a nearby fog machine. "Will it save rock or destroy mankind? We have no way of knowing -- yet we have no other choice."

Members of the Protectorate were each given only partial information about the location of the vault, which they were instructed to open in unison only in the event of a total Rockopalypse. While some believed the vault was buried in Boston, Chicago, Kansas, Europe, or Asia, others claimed it could be found in the Court of the Crimson King.

However, after piecing together clues hidden in Yes album covers and Pink Floyd liner notes, rock historians now believe the riff is locked away deep beneath the Welsh countryside house known as Bron-Yr-Aur, at rock-grid coordinates SH735026. British weather satellites have also photographed an enormous cloud, shaped like a hybrid of an upside-down question mark and cross, forming above these exact coordinates.

The vault's Key, regarded as too staggering a burden for any one man to bear, was divided in two parts, with half entrusted to Eddie Van Halen and half to David Lee Roth, shortly after Roth left the rock supergroup Van Halen. The two men, who have refused to work together for 20 years, recently announced plans for a historic reunion tour.

"Before we shake Heaven and Earth with the vicious power of this riff, we of the High Council of Elders of the Guardians of the Protectorate of Rock ask you: Are you about to rock?" AC/DC guitarist Angus Young said. "If so, we salute you."

When asked to comment on the possible dangers of using the riff, Sir Paul McCartney seemed surprised.

"There's a secret vault to save rock and roll?" McCartney said. "This is the first I've heard of it."

A Serius Problem

A guy I work with loaned me a satellite radio. It has a scree of channels, of course, including Playboy(?), an all Elvis station and my personal favorite, Road Dog: Talk Radio for Truckers. I think up places to drive to just so I can listen to it now. But it really requires 2 hands and all my attention, so little things like operating my vehicle are getting to be annoying distractions. (Giving new meaning to the EC line “radio is in the hands of such a lot of fools..”)

Comic Book Geek Out!

Zack Snyder, director of 300 and the upcoming Watchmen, has very cleverly embedded an image of Rorschach into the R rated 300 trailer at the 1:52 mark. Maybe the first easter egg in a movie trailer, I dunno.
From Wikipedia: "Rorschach is a fictional character, a superhero featured in the acclaimed 1986 DC Comics series Watchmen, arguably the main protagonist of the series. Wearing the inkblot-like mask he considers his true face, Rorschach has continued his one-man battle against crime long after superheroes became both detested and illegal. Rorschach’s actions and journal writings display a belief in objectivism and moral absolutism, where good and evil are clearly defined and evil must be violently punished. He has alienated himself from the rest of society to achieve these aims."

As an interesting bit of trivia, Terry Gilliam was once approached to direct Watchmen, but he determined that it couldn't be made.

Florida Update

It's still here.

My little sister got married. It was quite the bash. I gave a toast at the rehearsal and had 'em rolling in the aisles. Seriously, I killed. It was quite funny. Of course, I completely offended the groom's family -- as my family continued to do all weekend. We're from Tallahassee, they're from New Jersey -- it was bound to happen. I also partied with a dude (I partied, he laughed) who started a massive video game that changed all our lives. Like THE massive home system that we ALL played! He's a good friend of one of my cousins. Cool guy.

Job front has of course come to a screaming halt. Press on regardless, I say!

Love the posts so far, Mike Lurker. Keep up the good work. Hey...

Blogging From Greenwood

So Susan and I are in Greenwood, MS right now, in this weird boutique hotel in the middle of your typical small town Mississippi burg. Seriously, this hotel would be at home in Paris or New York City.

Later, bitches.

Klaatu Barada Nikto

One day, scientists and scholars may satisfactorily explain the wondrous and perplexing mysteries of the universe, such as how Stonehenge came to be, what really happened to the dinosaurs, or why I laughed at this for ten minutes the first time a I saw it.

(And why the totally unrelated title, you may ask? Because I'm the Grand Imperial Poo-Bah, that's why.)

White Chicks and Gang Signs

Here's an amusing concoction from some guy. I actually really like the song- musically its like a good Devo cut, plus we could be that guy.

Ireland Is Beyond Beautiful

Here's another shot from that 1997 trip that produced the Abbey Road photo. Man, I had forgotten how beautiful the Irish countryside is. This is a cow pasture beside the Cliffs of Moher. I've got to get back there one of these days ...

Oh, I almost forgot the best part. The day we were there, a guide told us that some French dumbass had plunged to his death the week before after dangling his legs over the side. (Exactly what they tell you not to do.) I guess Ireland is much less litigious than we are, as there are no rails to protect you. If you fall, it's your fault.

I'm outta here

I'm off to sunny Florida again for my sister's wedding and to try and scare up a job. I'll catch you bastards later. Mike, can you please try to come up with something remotely intelligent while I'm gone? I know Jay and Dave won't.

Gabba Gabba Hey

We accept you, we accept you, we accept you, one of us.

Through your faithful lurking and wanton disregard of your day-to-day work responsibilities, you have demonstrated beyond any reasonable doubt that you are a complete bastard, and therefore a worthy addition to this organization.

Los Bastardos Unidos welcomes Mike Lurker. More or less.

Maybe He'll Come Back as Eugenius...

Captain America is evidently killed off in the latest issue. Not being the comic book nerd that you bastards are/were (I had girlfriends in high school), I never really read him, but it's sad, nonetheless.

Story here.

Skip The Wait For Netflix Movie Streaming

From Uneasysilence:

"It was announced in January that Netflix would be slowly enabling all their subscribers to have streaming access to select movies in the “Q”. The problem is the rollout will take until JUNE."

Here's how to skip the wait.

Oh, Baby

If this sucks, I'll eat my shoes.

What Would YOU Do?

Kram called me last night as we were getting the kids ready for bed. It's probably the first time I've talked to him in three years, and he sounds like he's gotten himself together again. He's living a quiet existence Downtown, dating a nurse, getting along with his ex, still on the wagon.

Good for him.

Anyway, the true purpose of the phone call was to tell me the Subteens are getting back together for a reunion show in April. Cool! I've missed seeing the guys, and I've sure as hell missed playing with them. One show would be just enough, and it wouldn't require much of a commitment to prepare; maybe a handful of practices a few weeks before. This is sounding like a lot of fun. (All of these thoughts are running through my head as the words are coming out his mouth.)

And then, as I started asking questions, it became apparent that they want to play the show WITHOUT me, then have me get onstage as a guest at the end to play a song with them.

Seriously?

So, I've got to stand there like an asshole through an entire show, watching the band that I started and named play songs that I CO-WROTE (some before two of them were even in the band), and then maybe I get to play a song?

What would you guys do?

Daniel Johnston: Bipolar Music Genius Or Just Bipolar?

A couple of weeks back, we rented The Devil And Daniel Johnston from Netflix (who is not fucking with me nearly as much now that I'm keeping movies for a week at a time). I know you've prolly already seen it, but the film documents the incredibly sad trajectory of outsider artist and musician Daniel Johnston.

I won't bore you with a synopsis, but is Johnston the next Brian Wilson (as many hipsters in the film assert), or is he just a sick dude with some good ideas? I was leaning more toward music genius as I watched the film, but listening to his actual, uninterrupted songs, I'm back on the fence and tipping the other way. He's talented, but Continued Story/Hi, How Are You is as uneven as a Guided by Voices disc. (Rim shot!)

And maybe that's my issue. Bob Pollard is undeniably a music genius (in my mind), but he IS incredibly uneven. Does the fact that Johnston's hit-to-miss ratio is greater discount his ability? Because some of Johnston's songs are REALLY good ("Etiquette," "Poor You," "Desperate Man Blues"), but then some others are laughably bad.

Your comments are (begrudgingly) welcome ...

And Joe, you're welcome - wink, wink.

Adam Cohen

This guy's stuff is pretty good. A lot of the humor is derived from being a parent, but there's lots of other things to like. (Click images to embiggen.)
Happy Monday, bitches. More here.