Nope

Who at BBC Scotland thought going live to a bar was a good call?

Meth Monkeys

Just when you thought it was safe, new hazards to avoid. Please to enjoy local news coverage: 4 aggressive monkeys

Magical Misery Tour

The lyrics are evidently taken from an interview John did with Jan Wenner from Rolling Stone.

Week Seven Weigh In

187.6, a one week loss of ... .2 pounds. Hunh?

Total weight lost so far, 7.8 pounds.

Portion size at dinner. Portion size at dinner. Portion size at dinner.

That last ten really is a bitch.

Happy Birthday Jay!

Have a great birthday Bastard!

"London Calling" Comes to Rock Band 3

Is this one of the signs of the Apocalypse? The Clash. On a video game?! Does the Wii come with a bass guitar controller? Jay will need it...

Oatmeal

Not sure I want to thank Matt for turning me onto The Oatmeal.  Kind of like giving a kid his first cigarette.  I've just wasted an entire hour that I could've spent watching TV.  Bastard. 

State of the Web

Tonight is the night for the state of the union address, but I thought a state of the web address might be more interesting than watching a bunch of idiots stand up and applaud at the end of ever sentence. Click on this link for the state of the web

Shut Up Little Man!

"Eddie Lee Sausage" explains:

We were introduced to the saga of Peter and Raymond when we moved next door to them in the fall of 1987. As neighbors, we lived in the same Pepto-Bismol-colored apartment building in San Francisco’s Lower Haight. The building was designed like a cheap motel, so that the apartments were sardined alongside one another and separated by thin walls.

Within a week of our arrival, we were exposed to what would become a dependable routine from our next door neighbors: evenings charged with belligerent rants, hateful harangues, drunken soliloquies, death threats, and the sound of wrestling bodies thumping against the wall that separated our apartments. Peter and Raymond fought with a raging abandon and total disregard for everyone in the building. Initially, we were angered by the volume and recurrence of the arguments, but equally we were intimidated by the threatening content. Whenever we got angry enough to go next door, confront them and ask them to keep the noise down, we were forced to give the idea a second thought. Perched in their front window, facing the walkway greeting all who dared pass, was a human skull; what horror would greet us? However, one can be meek and tolerant for only so long. Unnerved by sleepless nights and Peter’s incessant refrain, “Shut Up Little Man” one of us banged on their door, only to receive the first of many murderous death threaths from Ray. “I’m perfectly willing to kill anyone that thinks they’re tough. I was a killer before you were born, I’ll be a killer after you’re dead.” Soon thereafter the notion of recording their threats — in case of the need for criminal proof of an assault — was born.

How did I miss this for so long? A documentary, Shut Up Little Man: An Audio Misadventure, was selected in the World Documentary Films section of Sundance this year.

Week Six Weigh In

187.8, a one week loss of 1.2 pounds.

Total weight lost so far, 7.6 pounds.

Somehow managed to lift weights four days this week. Pants are considerably looser than when I started. In fact, I'm wearing my belt one notch tighter, too ...

Bring it, Dave!

I'm Hip, Daddy-O

Monkey Truck

Shit

I used to love Don Kirshner's rock concert.

Banksy Simpsons Intro }:^)

I've never heard of Banksy, but have seen pictures of his stuff and what I'm guessing are its many imitators. The Simpsons intro is cracking.

Things That Made Me Laugh Harder Than They Should Have #2,347

Decemberists In January?

Yes.

The return to form I was hoping for. Thanks For The Patience, God.

I Fucking Love Gervais

Apparently, he's catching some shit for being irreverent.  I'm just sorry I missed it.

Did You Know...

The Easybeats were an Australian band from the 60s who were huge over there, nominal in the UK, and had a big US hit with "Friday On My Mind." The second guy introduced in this clip is one of the guitarists and songwriters, George Young. He is older brother of Malcom and Angus Young, who are, of course, the diminutive guitar combo from AC/DC.

Pull that one out at your next cocktail party.

Damn You Autocorrect

Another outstanding website for the discriminating bastard.

What I Need Tonight

Happy 3-day weekend to bastards who are off on Monday!

Friday Funnies

Indie Hotties-Amy Lavere

She's hot, she's local (Memphis) and for godsakes, she plays the upright bass.  What a package!

Week Five Weigh In

189.0, a one week loss of 1 pound.

Total weight lost so far, 6.4 pounds.

I've corrected an error from last week. The digital scale was wavering between 190 and 188.8, and I foolishly gave myself the benefit of the doubt, knowing damn-good-and-well I had eaten like a pig the previous weekend.

This week I didn't do all that much different (from previous weeks when I was sticking to the plan), which tells me that my metabolism has adjusted to eating less. Put simply, I'm getting to the hard part: the last ten. To reach my goal, I'll be stepping up the weightlifting (four times a week!) starting next Monday. God help me.

Top Ten Indie / Alterna-Hotties

Frozen Barstards! Submit your list of überbabes, help thaw this permafrost. Criteria - combination of indie talent/hottie McBody prompting your eternal salivation.

I go first:

---------------------------

Hope [sigh]


Chan

Wennerstrom



Dolores

Nagy

Nikki

Neko

Tracyanne

Deal

Selene

------------------------------------------

In no particular order:

1. Hope Sandoval (Mazzy Star)
2. Chan Marshall (Cat Power)
3. Erika Wennerstrom (Heartless Bastards)
4. Dolores O'Riordan (Cranberries)
5. Rachel Nagy (Detroit Cobras)
6. Nikki Darlin (Those Darlins)
7. Neko Case (New Pornographers)
8. Tracyanne Campbell (Camera Obscura)
9. Kim Deal (Breeders, Pixies)
10. Selene Vigil (7 Year Bitch)

Honorable Mention:
P.J. Harvey (she'd be in the top ten but I think (s)he's probably a really hot tranny)

O.k., you go now

Movie Bad Ass Fails

From the generally hilarious Cracked website comes this doozy. The whole thing is good but the picture captions for the Boba Fett entry made me pee.

Snow Day = Lucky Bastards

Inclement weather has closed my school for today, so I am taking the time to treat you all to a Fully Topical Project. Won't you be surprised?

Shit

Peter Yates, who directed "Breaking Away," which I saw about 5,000 times because I was Jay's roommate at one time, has died. He also directed "Bullitt" and probably some other stuff as well.

Grinderman 2

I'm out of FTP acronyms...

Really...?

I guess you want to be authentic...

Cookin' With Coolio

It dawned on me that it's hard to eat healthier without a little guidance. I've found this series invaluable.

Week Four Weigh In

190.0, a one week loss of .4 pounds. Stupid Nashville ...

Total weight lost so far, 5.4 pounds.

The saga continues ...

Better Late Than Never

It's not really the new year 'til we've heard from Jib Jab.

Shit

Gerry Rafferty. Man, I just listened to "City to City" on vinyl this weekend. The man sang "Stuck In The Middle With You" AND "Baker Street," not to mention "Right Down the Line."

Dave's Football Fantasy

Congratulations!! to the Durham Bastard and his Fantasy Football juggernaut... assembled to crush our spirits on a weekly basis.
Despite the handicap of having both Brees and Manning on his team,
plucky Dave managed to persevere and dominate the regular season and the playoffs.

The irony will not be lost on a gridiron genius like Bastard Dave when a force of nature from his youthful homeland (yes I'm talking about the 7-9 Seahawks) puts a red-ass beatdown on his beloved Saints.. wait, is that what I meant to say?

Shit

This Is Cool

Jay might be interested.....

Cool interview with Mad's Al Jaffee.

2011 - Year of the Bastard

Seize the day, compadres.