The name's Coffin. Lt Col. John Pine-Coffin.

Sad to see 007 has had to drag himself away from combating SPECTRE, or whichever politically correct set of villains he is up against next, to defend the awful title of the next Bond movie, "Quantum of Solace," as "crucial to the plot." [Possible sequel: "A Modicum of Solace"] Anyway, in honor of the entire Bond franchise, I give you the best Bond soundtrack that never was.



As an added bonus, Candie Payne is not a bad name for a Bond villain.

Preaching to the Converted

I'm pretty sure we all like Ryan Adams, or are at least convinced of his talent. My fandom has recently gone beyone that. I'm starting to think he's my favorite songwriter of ALL TIME. This song, "The Sun Also Sets" just blows my mind. His live vocal performance in the above video settles all questions of whether or not this guy is 'rock and roll'. His band is amazingly tight. The lyrics are fantastic. The arrangement: something special. Rave, rave, rave. Listen all the way through, won't you?

Kids In A Candy Store

Here's the Professionals, Live At Hitsville, for anyone interested in what happened to Steve Jones and Paul Cook immediately after the Pistols blew up. The sound is, as you might expect for a club gig in 1982, very rough around the edges. Still very listenable.

Frantically Twitching Pineapple

I Know Some of You Bastards Hate Morrissey, but Andrew and I like him, So Suck It

I heard this song on my iPod today, and was reminded by Andy's last post heading.
Here's the awesome lyrics to 'The World is Full of Crashing Bores':

You must be wondering how
The boy next door turned out
Have a care, But don't stare
Because he's still there
Lamenting policewomen, policemen silly women, taxmen
Uniformed whores,
They who wish to hurt you work within the law
This world is full, So full of crashing bores
And I must be one, 'Cos no one ever turns to me to say
Take me in your arms, Take me in your arms, And love me

You must be wondering how
The boy next door turned out
Have a care, And say a prayer
Because he's still there

Lamenting policewomen policemen silly women taxmen
Uniformed whores,
Educated criminals work within the law
This world is full, Oh oh, So full of crashing bores
And I must be one, cos no one ever turns to me to say
Take me in your arms, Take me in your arms
And love me, And love me

What really lies, Beyond the constraints of my mind
Could it be the sea, With fate mooning back at me?
No it's just more lock jawed pop stars
Thicker than pig shit, Nothing to convey
They're so scared to show intelligence
It might smear their lovely career

This world, I am afraid, Is designed for crashing bores
I am not one, I am not one
You don't understand, You don't understand, And yet you can
Take me in your arms and love me, Love me, And love me

Take me in your arms and love me, Love me, love me
Take me in your arms and love me, Take me in your arms and love me

Boooooooring . . .

Driving through Baton Rouge earlier this month, I saw this intriguing sign (my cell phone photo, followed by one from the paper):



Obvious question: did someone really have the balls to put up a billboard like this if the contents were contraband of some kind? Turns out, to my disgust, that the missing box contains student loan records lost by a document retention company. As I have long suspected, truth is not actually stranger than fiction.

The Motherlode...

Jay found this.

The Good, the Bad, and the Queen

No, I'm not talking about Dave, Lurker and Jay! It's the newest effort from Damon Albarn that includes Paul Simonon from thee Clash. I'm sure you've all heard of them, but they have emeddable samples on thier site. A couple here:



More on their site here.

Let's Go Outback Tonight!

Thought I recognized this when I first saw the commercial. It's Of Montreal. Good for Kevin Barnes! Making some money off his music! I'm sure some think he's selling out, but I don't get why selling his stuff is a bad thing. Any thoughts from the musicians?

Hmmm...

I just wrote "provides observable student on student interaction, and ... " in my dissertation. Kind of lost my train of thought after that.

How Well Do You Know Your Map?

A fun quizzy thing here. Originally linked from I am Fuel.
I forgot to write down my score, but I'm sure it put whatever you bastards will get to shame.

Oh Fork Yeah

Rest assured, I shall Fondle The Pope tomorrow.

Fat Children

Last night I had a little altercation
They wobbled menacingly
Beneath the yellow street light it became a situation
Well, they wanted my brand-new phone with all the pictures of the kids and the wife
A struggle ensued and then fat children took my life

Fat children took my life
Fat children took my life
Fat children took my life

Well, some passers-by took me to the station
The police force was elsewhere,
Putting bullets in some guy's head for no particular reason
So I died in the back of the cab
But I'll be back to haunt them
This thing does not end here
My spirit walks the streets of Tottenham

Singing:
Fat children took my life
Fat children took my life
Fat children took my life

Oh, the parents are the problem
Giving birth to maggots without the sense to become flies
So pander to your pampered little princess
Of such enormous size

Thanks Mom and Dad . . .

From the Canadian Press baseball transactions report:

CALGARY VIPERS - Agreed to terms with OF Jorge Poo Tang.

39 And Fit As A Fiddle

Happy birthday to me
Happy birthday to me
My best friends are bastards
Happy birthday to me

A Forkful of Crow...

Washed down with a swallow of pride.

Be all that you can be

Join the Ukranian Army; get a discount from rural prostitutes. Enough said.

The Parasites

Who do I have to thank for The Parasites? I came across it tonight and have been listening to it over and over. For hours. Must have come from one of you bastards. So who? It has punk energy, but with pop sensibility, simply great.

Grohl in Memphis

I saw the Foo Fighters Friday night from, of all things, a corporate luxury box at the FedEx Forum. Terrific show, as huge rock extravaganzas go, 2+ hours of solid music, well-formatted and executed. But I have to say, my concert days are really past. The light show is annoying, all the screaming, the surging drunk crowd, I don't have the patience anymore. Can't complain about the music, though. And I don't mind the drunk dancing and singing along, they're at least all engaged in the music. But the young girls around me having shouted conversations while the music was happening was the kicker. My indignation had so little company that I eventually kept my dirty looks to myself and just tried to block it out.

Live music is dead to me. If the venue is small and the band good, I'll take it in, but no more concerts. Were we that annoying when we were young? Maybe, but I can't ever remember being at a concert and being as disconnected from the music as many of those around me Friday night.

Genre Busters Gone Wrong

You know the story. Artist's career starts to flag, so artist either does reality TV or jumps on a hot musical bandwagon. The excellent new site PopDose has a funny exploration of this phenomenon over time, which is how I came upon the above video of Alice #$%^ing Cooper going 'New Wave' back in 1980. Absolutely hilarious. Other genre-busting experiments by Ethel Merman, the Scorpions, Ron Keel, and others can be found here.

By the way, PopDose offers up lots of mp3s and has a bunch of great content, especially for smirking pop-culture bastards. Bookmark it.

Fascinating Response To Creationists

My wife made me aware of this the other night ...

From Wikipeida:

The Flying Spaghetti Monster (also known as the Spaghedeity) is the deity of a parody religion called The Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster and its system of beliefs, "Pastafarianism". The religion was founded in 2005 by Oregon State University physics graduate Bobby Henderson to protest the decision by the Kansas State Board of Education to require the teaching of intelligent design as an alternative to biological evolution.

The first public exposure of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster (CoFSM) and its eponymous deity can be dated to January 2005, when Bobby Henderson sent an open letter regarding the FSM to the Kansas Board of Education. The letter was sent prior to the Kansas evolution hearings as an argument against the teaching of intelligent design in biology classes. Henderson stated that both his theory and intelligent design had equal validity; saying

"I think we can all look forward to the time when these three theories are given equal time in our science classrooms across the country, and eventually the world; One third time for Intelligent Design, one third time for Flying Spaghetti Monsterism, and one third time for logical conjecture based on overwhelming observable evidence."

The central belief is that there is an invisible and undetectable Flying Spaghetti Monster, which created the entire universe "after drinking heavily." All evidence for evolution was planted by the Flying Spaghetti Monster, in an effort to test Pastafarians' faith—a form of the Omphalos hypothesis. When scientific measurements, such as radiocarbon dating, are made, the Flying Spaghetti Monster "is there changing the results with His Noodly Appendage."

The Pastafarian belief of heaven stresses that it contains beer volcanoes and a stripper factory. Hell is similar, except that the beer is stale, and the strippers have VD.

The religious text of the Pastafarian religion is called the Loose Canon.

In place of the Ten Commandments, it contains the Eight I'd Really Rather You Didn'ts.

Read the rest of his argument here, or visit the official Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster website here.

Enron Redux

It has never been clear to me what exactly Jeff Skilling and Ken Lay are supposed to have done that was against the law (still less what it was they actually did that was against the law). People tend to be skeptical when I say this, but rarely are able to explain why they are convinced these men deserved to be convicted.

Interestingly, Skilling’s slim chance of getting his conviction reversed may have increased with the recent emergence of evidence that may support his claims that Andrew Fastow, the main (and some would say only) substantive witness against him, changed his story over time in an attempt to negotiate a better deal with the government, and that the government hid from the defense not only exculpatory statements made by Fastow early in the process, but also evidence suggesting that the government induced him to change his story.

As recounted in a brief filed in a related case here, it turns out that rather than keep individual interview notes (so-called “302’s”) for each of the countless FBI interviews of Fastow that took place over 18 months, the government departed from FBI policy and instead compiled a single composite 200-page 302 for the entire process, and apparently destroyed all of the individual 302’s created after the individual interviews and all drafts of the composite 302. Needless to say, a composite document would be very handy if one were trying to smooth over inconsistencies between Fastow’s earlier and later statements. Also needless to say, the government has fought tooth and nail to avoid producing to the defense the underlying notes created by FBI agents during the interviews.

Surprisingly, the Fifth Circuit, which is hearing Skillings appeal, and which is not known for championing defendants’ rights, ordered the government to produce the raw notes. The government refused, claiming, improbably, that the court did not really mean the notes had to be produced. The Fifth Circuit then issued an order clarifying that it did in fact mean that the notes had to be produced. The government then filed a motion for reconsideration, which was finally denied in late December. I have not been able to ascertain whether the notes have finally been turned over, in part because this story has been entirely absent from the national news.

Catchy Friday

Damn, this is catchy. Good video, too. I've always said something good would come out of Australia one of these days. Chalk one up for the optimists!



Another fine tune here.

Investment advice you can use

In light of recent concerns about the global stock market, it is worth checking out longorshortcapital.com, which offers useful and practical advice, albeit about "abstract trades, which may or may not be possible with real world financial derivatives." Here, they recommend short selling girl-on-girl action.

Short Girl-on-Girl
by Dr Deep Gupta

The market for hot (or cold) girl-on-girl action is cyclical; when generationally girls are prudish and treat girl-on-girl as verboten, the corresponding value of a girl-on-girl act is astronomical (certain theorists would argue it is incalcuable). Reacting to these high prices causes producers to bring on uneconomical girl-on-girl mines. These are mines where previously the cost of bringing the girl-on-girl out of the Earth guaranteed negative margins, but now can actually generate a stream of free cash flow. As supply increases, girl-on-girl prices begin to go down. Like most commodity markets, new supply which is brought on from marginal girl-on-girl mines eventually outstrips demand and the girl-on-girl cycle starts again.

Ramit Sethi offers this perspective:

[Things I Hate]. Girls who overestimate how hot it is to see them making out with another girl. I cannot count the number of times some girls want something and say something like “Are you surrrrre you don’t want to hang out? Who knows what will happen?” (wink, hugs her female friend). Ok. First of all, stop teasing because I have known you since 2nd grade and nothing is going to happen. Second, KISSING ANOTHER GIRL IS NOT AS HOT AS IT USED TO BE. Thank god the Internet has disintermediated your power. Actually, it’s kind of sad to see the vestiges of something that may have worked 4 years ago (you offering to maybe kiss another girl) still struggling to exert influence.

Recommendation: Short girl-on-girl action; Hold FFM Threesomes. Currently we are in a period of low girl-on-girl prices as trendiness has brought the price down from $Awesome! down to $Still Pretty Cool. We think there is still substantial downside and our current target is $Pleasing. There is an outside chance of a steep correction if there is a backlash of rampant conservatism in the youths of tomorrow, but visibility is pretty good right now, and we see that as an unlikely scenario.

Sean's Wife Steps In It

For those who can't watch the video, Sean's wife appeared on Fox the other day, discussing Mass Effect, a role-playing game on Xbox 360. She made some disparaging remarks about the game and its harmfulness to adolescents, also admitting that she had never played it herself.

Well.

In retaliation, fans of the game have bombarded Amazon with negative reviews of her book, The Cult of Perfection: Making Peace with Your Inner Overachiever. To give you an idea of the shitstorm she ignited, yesterday morning there were 55 reviews as the smear campaign was ramping up. This morning? 491 and counting. They've even taken to uploading not-very-nice alternate photos of the book, and creating a discussion of the book titled "Cooper Lawrence Is A Stupid Bitch."

I predict Amazon will reset her reviews soon, so you should check it out today.

The Welsh Dusty Springfield?

She's got some pipes on her, this girl. A couple of other fine tunes on her myspace page here.

This Is A Call

I know I mentioned this to Dave before (and he turned me down, the bitch), but the deal is even sweeter than before. Right now, Steam is offering Half-Life 2: Deathmatch, plus a handful of other games and demos, for FREE if you have an Nvidia graphics card. FREE. I guess I should mention that Deathmatch is usually $10.00.

So, Andy and Dave, whether you're gamers or not, you are cordially invited to play Half-Life 2: Deathmatch with Joe, Mike and me. It's a minimal commitment of two hours - or as little as you want to play - on Sunday nights, and it's more fun than should be allowed by law. The learning curve isn't that steep, and we'll be more than happy to spend some game time getting you up to speed.

We've got five regular players at the moment (plus one having technical difficulties), but Jeff has informed me that a friend of his who has an Nvidia graphics card will be joining us soon.

So, c'mon! Cooome ooon ... If nothing else, think of it as a bonding experience; we can actually chat in-game!

Joe or Mike, anything you want to add? Oh! The above image is of me - Büllet Pröne - sending Joe - Pine-Coffin - to his heavenly reward.

The Steam Nvidia offer is here. It's for a limited time, naturally.

The other, lesser blog maintained by the Deathmatchers is here. We mostly use it for downloading maps early or posting updates about the new dedicated server.

Shit

Heath Ledger dies at 28.

For History!

With tonight being my first darts match of the season, I give you a few quotes from Sid Waddell, perhaps the greatest sports commentator of all time. His genius really must be heard to be appreciated, though, so I offer for your consideration Sid's commentary on the first ever televised 9-dart finish by Phil "The Power" Taylor. Who dare say it isn't a real sport?

• That was like throwing three pickled onions into a thimble!
• The atmosphere is so tense, if Elvis walked in with a portion of chips, you could hear the vinegar sizzle on them
• Big Cliff Lazarenko’s idea of exercise is sitting in a room with the windows open taking the lid off something cool and fizzy.
• His eyes are bulging like the belly of a hungry chaffinch
• That’s the greatest comeback since Lazarus.
• He’s as cool as a prized marrow!
• Under that heart of stone beat muscles of pure flint.
• The pendulum swinging back and forth like a metronome
• The players are under so much duress, it’s like duressic park out there!
• There’s only one word for that - magic darts!
• Steve Beaton - The adonis of darts, what poise, what elegance - a true roman gladiator with plenty of hair wax.
• If you’re round your auntie’s tonight, tell her to stop making the cookie’s and come thru to the living room and watch these two amazing athletes beat the proverbial house out of each other
• If we’d had Phil Taylor at Hastings against the Normans, they’d have gone home.
• Darts players are probably a lot fitter than most footballers in overall body strength.
• He’s playing like Robin Hood in the Nottingham super league
• He’s like D’Artagnan at the scissor factory.

And a personal favorite:

• When Alexander of Macedonia was 33, he cried salt tears because there were no more worlds to conquer..... Bristow’s only 27.

Bible Lesson for bastards who missed church (You know who you are!)

WARNING: If it is remotely possible for you to be offended by animated sacrilege, do not click play! If you're sick enough to think this was funny, there are 12 more episodes of The Professor Brothers for you to watch on your way to hell.

Meet the Supercarters

The Supercarters is my permanent side project. Supercarters are songwriter and vocalist Ed Mitchell, bassist Dave Baker, drummer Elzy Lindsey, and me. The other three played together in a number of classic New Orleans bands before forming the Supercarters several years ago. They had recorded a demo and decided the band needed a little more guitar muscle, so they recruited me to play solos and add color. We played lots of shows and had a generally good time before Ed's schedule and ambivilence ended the band.

Dave, Elzy, and I formed Coverboy with Mike Werts and Adam Campagna and mastered the new wave covers genre and Ed continued driving truck and hanging around.

Last fall, a newly rejuvinated Ed visited Dave and Elzy in Asheville and the three recorded several songs in Elzy's basement. Ed had rediscovered his youthful love of gospel music and it got the creative juices flowing again. Ed is a pretty spiritual guy, which you'll hear reflected on parts of this album. I came over two weeks later and laid down 20 or so guitar tracks in one day. A touch of violin here, a trumpet there, and some fantastic harmonies later, and we had our first album. This group has been really liberating for me as a guitarist. It has been fun to not think about singing or driving the song. I do a lot of chickin' pickin' stuff and more atmospherics than I'm capable of otherwise.

The other thing I love about this album is that other than our collective time and energy, a few cases of beer, and gas to and from Asheville, this entire project cost nothing to make. Baker worked like a dog on it, but for the rest of us, it was nice and easy and no 'red-light' pressure at all. My favorite songs are 'Layin' Low', 'Carolina', 'Here's to You' and 'Life Awaits the Dead'.

I hope you guys like it. Ed is a great songwriter from the 'less is more' school, and his unpretentious words and incredibly hummable melodies will stick with you. Fractionally Tempstuous Process.

Some Vintage Catchiness

The Speedies, Let Me Take Your Photo. (Weird seeing those towers behind them.)

Busman's Holiday

Recently departed is Hugh Massingberd, obituaries editor of the Daily Telegraph, who transformed Telegraph obits from dull recitations of jobs and hobbies into amusing, irreverent, prurient, and often plain rude accounts of interesting folks of all stripes. Witness:

Third Lord Moynihan
The Third Lord Moynihan, who has died in Manila, aged 55, provided through his character and career ample ammunition for critics of the hereditary principle. His chief occupations were bongo drummer, confidence trickster, brothel-keeper, drug-smuggler and police informer. . . .

Denisa Lady Newborough
Denisa Lady Newborough, who has died, aged 79, was many things. Wire walker, night club girl, nude dancer, air pilot. She only refused to be two things: a whore and a spy. “And there were attempts to make me both,” she once wrote. . . .

And a personal favorite:

Lt Col John Pine-Coffin

Pine-Coffin then joined the Parachute Regiment and was posted to the Middle East where he saw action during the Suez crisis. Following a move to Cyprus, he was involved in counter-insurgency operations in the Troodos mountains.

When he came across a number of heavily bearded men hiding in a monastery, Pine-Coffin suspected that they were Eoka terrorists in disguise and asked his sergeant to give their beards a sharp tug. These all stayed firmly in place and he had to make a swift tactical withdrawal. . . .

The New York Times recently provided the following “English-Massingberd Dictionary” to help its readers decipher these masterworks:

“Convivial”: Habitually drunk.
“Did not suffer fools gladly”: Monstrously foul-tempered.
“Gave colorful accounts of his exploits”: A liar.
“A man of simple tastes”: A complete vulgarian.
“A powerful negotiator”: A bully.
“Relished the cadences of the English language”: An incorrigible windbag.
“Relished physical contact”: A sadist.
“An uncompromisingly direct ladies’ man”: A flasher.

Massingberd’s own obituary can be found here.

More Nostalgia

This time from Electric Company. I think I work with this guy ...

Classic Sesame Street

Not sure if Andy had Sesame Street, but here's "Pinball Number Count" from our collective childhood.

As a bonus, here's a letter from the composer and producer, Walt Kraemer.

Not That You Bastards Deserve It.....

...but Francine Talks Pretty! Join me, won't you, for the following:

Dirty Dozen Brass Band: The New Orleans Album
Before they tried to shorten their name to 'The Dozen' and embrace hip hop and all manner of other stuff, the DDBB were pure New Orleans. This album features songs by Kidd Jordan, Fats Domino, Dave Bartholemew, and many others. Just the thing for Mardi Gras.

Cheap Trick: Rockford
The latest album from our boys from Illinois. I find it particularly strong. Give it a listen or two; they haven't lost a step.

Rufus Wainwright: Rufus Wainwright
The debut album from the Candian wunderkind. I go back and forth on this one, but there's no denying his talent.

Steve Turner: New Wave Punk Asshole
Highly, highly recommended. This album, from Mudhoney's lead guitar player, is just a fantastic exercise in post-grunge punk pop. Highlights include: I Know You Scorpio, Sex Date Saturday Night, and Oh, Paula. Anxious to know what you bastards think of this one.

Angry Hanks

I was just in Billings, Montana for a couple of days for work. A bit of a dump, frankly, with the distant view of the Rockies sadly obscured by a large cement factory or some such. But a small highlight of my windswept wanderings around downtown was Angry Hanks, a genuinely micro microbrewery, which owing to peculiar local licensing laws is open for sampling only from 4 to 8 each evening, with a strictly enforced 3 pint maximum per evening. As you will see from the picture, it is strictly a utilitarian experience, with a few tables set up next to the tanks, but a good crowd, and a friendly, knowledgeable bar tender made it seem quite cosy. The red ale was superb; the "Hodge Podge," made with leftovers from 6 or 8 different malts, interesting, but a bit thin. A recommended stop if you find yourselves in that neck of the woods.

Yeah, Jay...

She's a babe.

Question Of The Day

I was talking to the wife last night about a movie that I thoroughly enjoyed in the theater but had no interest in seeing again. That got me wondering why some movies that we LOVE we watch repeatedly, while other movies that we LOVE get one viewing. Any thoughts about why that is?

And by way of example, what are five movies you really enjoyed that you never want to see again and five that you could watch at least once a year for the rest of your life?

Never Again:

1) Schindler's List
2) The Lord of the Rings Trilogy
3) Gangs of New York
4) Capote
5) King Kong

Repeat Viewing:

1) Blade Runner
2) Empire Strikes Back
3) Godfather, Parts 1 & 2
4) Breaking Away
5) The Matrix

Who Remembers?

Ah, the series that reminded us that most truck drivers are sexy, scantily-clad women and that anyone in America can own a chimpanzee. What a wonderful role those old '70s shows filled, showing us what the world was really like. No wonder we're all so well-adjusted. Or is that the result of our perfect fathers?

Well Well Well ...

Cocaine's still a hell of a drug.

Shit...

Vampira is dead.

Among Nurmi's scattered film appearances following her TV career was a cameo in Ed Wood's 1959 cult classic, ''Plan 9 From Outer Space.''

A little known fact (fortunately) -- before they were the Subteens, they were "Plan 9." Then they realized there were about 7,000 other bands with the same name, and that they were getting tired of playing "99 luftballons" at Frat parties, so they canned the weird singer and rechristened themselves "Nail". Which is much more original, don't you think?

Victor Wooten Solo

Nice take on a personal favorite. It's just a shame the guy didn't spend his time learning a more practical instrument.

While this is not Rufus Wainwright (I promise), I heard an amazing song of his tonight, "Going to a Town." Anyone got any?

WTF?

I'm pretty excited about Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, and it's shaping up to be a monster blockbuster this summer. Anyway, while looking around today, I stumbled onto this enlightening Wikipedia article.

Here's the part that got my attention:

Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom is a 1984 adventure film directed by Steven Spielberg. Released on May 23, 1984, it is a prequel to the 1981 film Raiders of the Lost Ark.

Prequel? This is like finding out that there's no Santa Claus, or that your sister is really your mother, or that Joe is actually heterosexual.

Where the fuck have I been, and did anybody else know this movie was a prequel?!

Speaking of Musicals

This movie absolutely kicks ass. It's a musical in the sense that fully 2/3 of it is...music, though not the break out in song in the middle of a scene type of musical. The music in it is great. It makes me want to go out and get every one of the Frames' albums.

Stop whatever you're doing and go see it now.

Also, Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova had a song on the "I'm Not There" soundtrack.

Thanks A Lot, Dave

I've had Cheap Trick's "Hot Love" stuck in my head for the last four days. What's not to like, though? Propelled by one of the most unappreciated drummers in rock history, the song comes blasting out of the gate with a sweet-ass riff, followed closely by a catchy-as-hell melody. And that bridge! Absolutely brilliant breakdown, complete with what Kram and I used to call "guitar noodlies."

I think the clincher for me though is the low E that Tom Peterssen drops to in the pre-chorus. (They tease you with it the first go-round, heading back into the verse instead ...) All delivered in a brisk two minutes and 30 seconds, which as we all know, is how long a powerpop tune should be. (That's in the Bible, I think.)

Man.

Okay, name your favorite Cheap Trick song or songs. I know you got 'em. I'm leaning towards "Hot Love" today.

Golden Globules

If you're into awards-shows-as-infomercials, you probably loved this year's globes. I personally didn't miss the glitz and glamor, but thought it sucked as hard as usual. And watched the abomination anyway, as usual. Was at least glad to see Sweeney Todd take a few awards, even though it was a pretty cool film. I've seen films with as much music and as much blood, just not generally in the same film. Here's the list, if you used your time more wisely.

The best article ever written on any subject by anybody

This article on the Replacements recording 'Pleased to Meet Me' is just incredible.

Myspace song updates

I've retired my tired old Christmas offerings and put up a fresh slew of songs.

Tricky: This one, from the SMASH HIT Anyface album DUCT TAPE SOUL dates back to Spokane days. An angry kiss-off song to someone I can't even remember. Sorry Jay, I went for the 'produced' Anyface version instead of the 'raw and charming' Pophead version.

For No One: This song, from the SMASH HIT solo album LOUNGE is my scratchy, pitchy take on a Lennon/McCartney classic. Campagna really knows how to handle his organ, doesn't he?

Welcome to my World: This song, from the RARELY HEARD album WISE UP is a hodge-podge mess with an ultimately hummable melody. Which was almost completely stolen from the far-superior Parasites. Thanks to Marcus on this one. Paul beats on a pot for a good 2:30.

Heavy Patting: This song, from the 4000 HOLES RELEASE Pophead was a topical dig at Pat Buchanan. When he was running for President. In 1992. Uhhhhh.....anyway, I've always been proud of the fact that Jay, Sean and I nailed this live in the studio, no overdubs, after about 20 beers apiece. Stick around for the circus interlude won't you?

And Lurker, I haven't forgotten your 'best of' comp- just waiting for a couple of new mp3s to come down the pike.

David Roe and The Royal Rounders

Just what you need for a big easy hangover, since I can't offer you a lucky dog, some fine dixieland jazz! I offer up David Roe & the Royal Rounders, and if anyone else (Dave) has anything to add, I'd be most appreciative.

Catchy ... Wednesday?

Field Music's "In Context." (I've never heard of them, either.) Stick around 'til the end of the video, won't you?

Man Cold

In honor of my man cold:

Chelsea Dagger

Kinetic music and girls in their underwear, isn't that why God created the music video?

Anyone seen Andy? Still drunk, singing karoke at the Cat's Meow in the quarter, most likely. Wish I was there now, eating oysters at Acme. Or listening to blues at the Old Absynth bar. And wasted, in either case.

The Drunkest Generation

Courtesy of Cracked.com, ten reasons why our grandparents could drink us under the table.

Andy on TV!

Leading up to the LSU-Ohio St. game, they featured some fans preparing for the contest. And they showed Andy getting his body paint on!

Go Andy! Go LSU!

Catchy Friday

Well, OK. A special Catchy Friday inspired by my trip. Professor Longhair, meet the Meters. Meters, meet Professor Longhair.

Geaux Tigers

I will likely be silent until the middle of next week because I am heading down to NOLA for the LSU v. Ohio State game. With that in mind I leave you with this little gem from earlier this season.

More Fun with Album Covers

Here.

Bring On the Swift Boats

Extending Album Art

Pages and pages of clever (and a few not-so-clever) album art extensions. The following selections made me laugh loudly enough for coworkers to come check on me. By the way, the Strokes file is called Is This Shit?, which is even funnier with the addition of the VU cover. Anyway, enjoy.

You Asked For It

Huck, before and after.

Joe Posts A Secret

Don't Stop Believin', Dave

The older I get, the more nostalgic I become for stuff that I didn't particularly care for the first go-round. So, whether you like it or not, I present the corny goodness of Journey's Greatest Hits.

Seriously, how can you say no to "Don't Stop Believin'," "Wheel In The Sky," "Faithfully," "Any Way You Want It," "Who's Crying Now," "Separate Ways (Worlds Apart)," "Lights," "Lovin',Touchin',Squeezin'," or "Open Arms?"

Frontiers Took Passion, guys!

Jay Posts a PostSecret

This is England . . .

From today's Guardian:

A large pair of knickers saved the day in northern England after they were used to smother a household kitchen fire.

Jenny Marsey's size 18-20 cotton briefs were used to put out a frying pan fire, which started when an extractor fan fell on the cooker while her son and nephew were frying some bread at the house in Hartlepool.

Her son John, 18, at first made the blaze worse by throwing water over the flames, but her nephew, Darren Lines, saved the day by grabbing his aunt's knickers from the washing pile and using them like a fire blanket.

Lines, 23, said: "I just grabbed the knickers, put them under the tap to dampen them and then used them to put the fire out.

"The extractor fan had fallen on top of the oven and then all the flames went up. The electricity had gone off and we couldn't see. It was just the first thing I picked up."

Marsey, 53, a baker, was out for a pub meal when the accident happened on Sunday afternoon.

"I think it's funny now but at the time I was just shell-shocked," she said. "I couldn't believe it when I found out how they stopped it."

Maresy said the blue cotton knickers were from Marks & Spencer, and were a few years old.

"I call them my emergency ones," said the mother of four. "They're the ones you wear when you've run out of all your others!"

RIAA Continues To Not Get It

In a bid to hold on to the title of Biggest Assholes on the Planet, the RIAA now claims that making a digital copy - for your own personal use - of a CD that you legally purchased is ... wait for it ... theft.

From a recent copy of the Washington Post:

Now, in an unusual case in which an Arizona recipient of an RIAA letter has fought back in court rather than write a check to avoid hefty legal fees, the industry is taking its argument against music sharing one step further: In legal documents in its federal case against Jeffrey Howell, a Scottsdale, Ariz., man who kept a collection of about 2,000 music recordings on his personal computer, the industry maintains that it is illegal for someone who has legally purchased a CD to transfer that music into his computer.

The industry's lawyer in the case, Ira Schwartz, argues in a brief filed earlier this month that the MP3 files Howell made on his computer from legally bought CDs are "unauthorized copies" of copyrighted recordings.

"I couldn't believe it when I read that," says Ray Beckerman, a New York lawyer who represents six clients who have been sued by the RIAA. "The basic principle in the law is that you have to distribute actual physical copies to be guilty of violating copyright. But recently, the industry has been going around saying that even a personal copy on your computer is a violation."

Read the rest of this heart-warming article here.