For History!

With tonight being my first darts match of the season, I give you a few quotes from Sid Waddell, perhaps the greatest sports commentator of all time. His genius really must be heard to be appreciated, though, so I offer for your consideration Sid's commentary on the first ever televised 9-dart finish by Phil "The Power" Taylor. Who dare say it isn't a real sport?

• That was like throwing three pickled onions into a thimble!
• The atmosphere is so tense, if Elvis walked in with a portion of chips, you could hear the vinegar sizzle on them
• Big Cliff Lazarenko’s idea of exercise is sitting in a room with the windows open taking the lid off something cool and fizzy.
• His eyes are bulging like the belly of a hungry chaffinch
• That’s the greatest comeback since Lazarus.
• He’s as cool as a prized marrow!
• Under that heart of stone beat muscles of pure flint.
• The pendulum swinging back and forth like a metronome
• The players are under so much duress, it’s like duressic park out there!
• There’s only one word for that - magic darts!
• Steve Beaton - The adonis of darts, what poise, what elegance - a true roman gladiator with plenty of hair wax.
• If you’re round your auntie’s tonight, tell her to stop making the cookie’s and come thru to the living room and watch these two amazing athletes beat the proverbial house out of each other
• If we’d had Phil Taylor at Hastings against the Normans, they’d have gone home.
• Darts players are probably a lot fitter than most footballers in overall body strength.
• He’s playing like Robin Hood in the Nottingham super league
• He’s like D’Artagnan at the scissor factory.

And a personal favorite:

• When Alexander of Macedonia was 33, he cried salt tears because there were no more worlds to conquer..... Bristow’s only 27.