Happy New Year, Bastards!

Be safe if you go out tonight ...

50!

Happy Birthday, Paul

Yuck

I'm okay with this message right up until they show the drooling baby. I understand that kids can be born with it, but that's still disgusting.

My Best Of 2009

Was it me, or was this a really disappointing year for new music? Nothing much grabbed me. Everything the critics raved about left me cold. Embryonic? Nah. Merriweather Post Pavilion? Nope. Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix? Not so much.

Here are my favorites for this year, in no particular order.

The Xx - xx (It's the same song over and over, but it's a good song.)
Visqueen - Message To Garcia (Chops and pipes!)
Tinted Windows - Tinted Windows (Guilty pleasure. My brain says no, but my heart says yes.)
Heartless Bastards - The Mountain (Holy shit, that voice!)
Jarvis Cocker - Further Complications. (Maybe not as catchy as his first solo album, but I can appreciate his world view.)

Honorable mention to Sigur Rós for Med sud I eyrum vid spilum endalaust, even though I didn't talk about it. I know you guys don't go for that kinky shit.

Put 'em on the glass, ladies.

$94.61?!

Ten years ago this month, we released the Subteens first LP, Burn Your Cardigan. If memory serves, we gave away more than we sold, but man, that seems like a lifetime ago. I was jobless and back in graduate school, didn't have kids, and had only been married three years. In fact, my wife and I had just bought our first house the year before, and I was about to turn 31. Sigh ...

As I recall, we originally got started recording with Christine from The Chubbies sometime in 1998. (I refuse to name the studio, because the owner fucked us on a handshake deal. Hey, live and learn ...) It seems like we sat on this stuff for awhile - probably because we were broke - and when we revisited it in 1999, it was clear it didn't measure up to our ... um ... exacting standards.

While listening back to the basic rhythm tracks, somebody jokingly wondered if we could get another band's drummer (John "Bubba" Bonds) to come re-record the songs right then. After everyone stopped laughing, we seriously began to pursue the possibility. Unbelievably, we tracked him down, and in the middle of a fucking monsoon, Bubba brought his drums over to the studio. After accommodations were made to ensure his comfort (Kram and I made a quick trip to Buster's for a fifth of Jack Daniels), we got down to business. Much of what you hear on Burn Your Cardigan is first or second take, which means that those recordings represent the second or third time he had EVER PLAYED THOSE SONGS. I'm still amazed.

The fact that you can still find Burn Your Cardigan for sale for more than 45 cents is extremely flattering. It was genuinely a team effort, and despite all of its flaws, I'm still proud of it today. I just wanted to take a minute to commemorate one of my old band's few accomplishments in some small way.

Glitter and Doom

One of the best live albums I've heard in years. Fornication Trumps Predestination.

What do you call a guy who hangs around with musicians?

Talented People What?

Fede Alvarez, a Uraguayan filmmaker, made this short film for several hundred dollars and subsequently signed a deal with Sam Raimi's Ghost House Pictures to develop and direct an original project.

Damn.

This Can Only Be Described As Genius

Thanks, Joe!

Finally

Sorry Lurker. Am I forgetful or is it just Fucking Terrible Procrastination?

Without a doubt, this album is one solid chunk of seventies power-pop goodness, start to finish. After an amazing initial run - primarily on the strength of "My Sharona" - The Knack was ultimately brought to its knees by ego, cocaine and ridiculously bad management.

Sweet Georgia Brown (GiGi)

New baby.

Avatar

Made me want to Av a Crap. Without a doubt, the effects are groundbreaking, but the rest of the movie is just so bad (the acting is awful, the story hackneyed, and it's 3 fucking hours long) that I was turning blue myself. Honestly, it's worth seeing for the CGI, but only if you're going to see it in 3D (I imagine the IMAX version is even more impressive).

Shit

Dan O'Bannon. Google him.

Must Be Santa

I think Bob's gotten into Dave's egg nog.

Dylan Xmas Album

Honey, I Forgot The Presents, but I picked up "Christmas in the Heart" on vinyl (it came w/ the CD). Bob's pipes are getting a bit rusty, but the album is not without its charms. I got Them Crooked Vultures as well. The drums are good...

Again with the holidays

I hope everyone has a happy and safe holiday season. We're off to New York on Friday afternoon. I'll be expecting presents from each of you when I return.

Modern Toss

Found this last night on BBC America. It's Modern Toss, a series built around bizarre cartoon shorts and brief live-action sketches. Read more here, if you so choose.

This is Mr. Tourette, Master Signwriter, which made me laugh mightily.

Hhhhhhhot!

I wish I could watch this again, but I've kicked my monitor in.

Right Fucking Now

Absolutely irresistible. Fart Twice, Please.

Worth The Wait

I'm suddenly wearing Fairly Tight Pants.

Mudcrutch

I've been enjoying this album by the Fabulous Tom Petty's original band, Mudcrutch. As the story goes, this was Petty's band from his Hogtown days that included Tom Leadon (brother of Eagle Bernie). When the band moved out to LA to make it big, the record company suits took one look at TP and said 'those teeth will sell a million records,' and convinced him to re-org and rechristen the band. I don't know which of these songs were written back in the old days, but they've definitely got the country groove / swamp boogie thing going. Enjoy. Or don't. I don't care.

Ha!

I'll bet Joe is hungover today

A great day in college football yesterday. Boise State wins, Cincinnati wins a thriller, Texas wins, and most importantly, Florida loses and Tebow cries.

Catchy Friday

Whatabitch || Garage Sessions from Kurran and the Wolfnotes on Vimeo.

A different, Joe-friendly video (which for some reason will not embed properly) here

I will participate in meaningless online surveys

Get your votes in for the 29 best chalkboard gags in Simpsons history.

Are your toes tapping?

Mine are.

Too Much Joy, Indeed

Wait, major labels are evil and stupid?

Too Much Joy frontman Tim Quirk runs down his hilarious royalty statement. Right ... here.

(Courtesy of The A.V. Club.)

All Good Things...and this too...

My beloved Bobby Bowden (pictured above on the right), FSU coach for the last 34 years, winner of two national championships (including one perfect 12-0 season - suck it, Gators), and the 2nd winningest college coach of all time, has announced his retirement. The past few years have been lean ones for the Seminole win column, and many have been clamoring for him to go. I started going to FSU games during his second season, so as far as I have ever known, he IS FSU Football. It's a sad day, but hopefully the beginning of our return to greatness.

It's Funny Because It's True

The Hazards Of Flight

Okay, who here is Feeling The Post Thanksgiving blahs? This should do the trick.

The Hazards of Love

I found a used copy of The Decemberists CD from last Spring. There's a story developing throughout the album, which is a curious thing to find these days. It's not really grabbing me yet, but that may just be because it's more demanding than, say, a Ramones album. Fight Through Patiently and see what you think.

I Probably Shouldn't Watch...

but I can't help it. All signs point to my beloved Seminoles getting beaten like dogs by the Gators, but hopefully FSU will show up and make a game of it. Fortunately it's Jesus Tebow's last year so we wont' have to put up with him anymore. I am very much looking forward to a Florida/Texas championship game, though.

I'm Not Part of this System!

Andy Samberg - I Threw it On The Ground - watch more funny videos

Alright, if Jay Bastard is going to post muppets covering Queen, it must be time for an Andy Samberg video. I think these are about the only funny things left on SNL.

Happy Turkey Day

Shouldn't I be wearing a fez or something?

Nerdgasm

I'm not a huge Family Guy fan, but this might be funny.

Will You Do The Fandango?

I think this is relatively new ...

I Love Shit Like This

This is a scene from 2006's Children of Men. According to fxguide, the shot is a composite of London's Battersea power station and a bridge located over the M3 in Surry, but check out the Pink Floyd homage that you might have missed. Click to embiggen and look between the two chimneys on the right.

New album preview...

I've Found The Patience to upload roughs of all the new songs in the proposed running order. I'd dig some honest feedback regarding the running order. Songs are still fairly rough (and some are even missing some recent additions) but they're getting there. 'Off White Wedding' and 'Can't See You Anymore' now have horn sections and I recorded a new solo on 'Everything Was Fine' but these parts aren't on here yet. Jamie added some killer pedal steel and guitar to 'Natchez' and 'Heart's on a String' and blew my mind. Those parts are on here. Feedback people- and don't blow sunshine up my ass.

OK, I give up......where are all you assholes?

Report in please.

Cohen Live in London

Fresh off the show I saw in Durham, I thought I could interest you guys in this. Feel the Presence. Cohen's already excellent lyrics have taken on additional gravitas with age. This is pretty close to the show I saw, except that he played Famous Blue Raincoat and didn't play Hey, That's No Way to Say Goodbye.

Jarvis the Great

Interesting video here. A culture editor over at The Guardian.com was gushing about it and it does have a satisfying simplicity to it. Reminds me of David Byrne.

Hilarious AC/DC album review

From Popdose, a fantastic review of AC/DC in which song titles are translated for those who don't understand what the songs are about.

Tough

This is what Jay's daughter is going to be like when she grows up. I just know it.

Why no...

I didn't see Leonard Cohen in the last couple of days. Why would you ask such a stupid question?

Yup

I think I've Found The Passion for new music that I've been missing the last few months.

Moody Wednesday

Bastards, may I present The xx, a group of British 20 year olds. This song, "Crystalised," is the first single off their recent (August) debut album, which I predict I will be purchasing this evening.

Read reviews here, or visit the bands official site.

It's Good!

Finally caught this yesterday with the missus. Pretty funny as zombie movies go, and relatively scary as Woody Harrelson movies go. Good Sunday afternoon matinee material.

Anybody else seen it?

Teenage angst

I've never really gotten into Thom Yorke or Radiohead, but I must say I quite like this effort, which apparently is from the soundtrack to the latest Twilight movie, and is no worse off for that.

Might be interesting....

No U.S. release date yet.

Wanna Learn English?

Bruce, London, 1975

It's amazing that a live performance this good could be allowed to sit on a shelf for 30 years before being released. Not only is the music superb, but the quality of the recording is excellent.

Sorry to bump Morrissey out of the headlines, Jay.

The One Morrissey Show I Should Have Attended

The former Smiths frontman Morrissey was rushed to hospital tonight after collapsing on stage at the start of a concert.

Witnesses said that just moments after the 50-year-old had finished performing his opening song, the 1983 hit "This Charming Man," he fell to the floor and was dragged offstage by worried band members.

Read the rest here.

Fer You, Dudes...

Embryonic - Flaming Those liPs

Shit

I clearly didn't know much about Soupy Sales. For example, did you know his sons, Hunt and Tony were the back half of Tin Machine?

Where the Wild Things Are

Anyone else seen this? I found it to be quite excellent. Spike Jonze has gone for a sun-dappled, washed out look that manages to illuminate and make you feel cold at the same time. I felt like it really captures the particular melancholy that is present in childhood. In fact, the movie isn't a children's movie at all- it's a movie about children, an important distinction in helping to decide whether or not your little ones will like it. On the con side, it dragged a bit, but the overall look and ideas made up for it for me.

I'll See Your Bo Donaldson and Raise You a David Geddes

Something wrong with the embed on this, but go here to see the video for Run Joey Run. Story song? Check. Melodrama? Check. Sexy coiffed hunk singer who disappeared after his one hit? Check. Split screen? Check. I think we've got a winner.

With all due respect to Mac Davis..

This is the purest epitome of the wrong end of the '70s. If the song and outfits don't convince you, the lip-almost-syncing should clinch it.

70s Ass Clown Songs Continued

This song by Mac Davis is the most pure distillation of 1970s macho bullshit ever recorded. The stallion with the medallion cult was almost in full flower. And to add to the excitement, someone made a cheese-ass video complete with lyrics. It just keeps getting better!

Big Time

I made the Gainesville Sun!

The Battle For Worst Seventies Song Rages On

This has to be a contender.

Hey, Davie

Hey Davie, you Davie, cursing at your life
You're a discontented mother and a regimented wife
I've no doubt you dream about the things you'll never do
But, I wish someone had talked to me
Like I wanna talk to you.....

Oh, I've been to Georgia and California and anywhere I could run
I took the hand of a preacher man and we made love in the sun
But I ran out of places and friendly faces because I had to be free
I've been to paradise but I've never been to me

Please Davie, please Davie, don't just walk away
'Cause I have this need to tell you why I'm all alone today
I can see so much of me still living in your eyes
Won't you share a part of a weary heart that has lived million lies....

Oh, I've been to Niece and the Isle of Greece while I've sipped champagne on a yacht
I've moved like Harlow in Monte Carlo and showed 'em what I've got
I've been undressed by kings and I've seen some things that a woman ain't supposed to see
I've been to paradise, but I've never been to me

[spoken]
Hey, you know what paradise is?
It's a lie, a fantasy we create about people and places as we'd like them to be
But you know what truth is?
It's that little baby you're holding, it's that man you fought with this morning
The same one you're going to make love with tonight
That's truth, that's love......

Sometimes I've been to crying for unborn children that might have made me complete
But I took the sweet life, I never knew I'd be bitter from the sweet
I've spent my life exploring the subtle whoring that costs too much to be free
Hey Davie......
I've been to paradise, (I've been to paradise)
But I've never been to me

(I've been to Georgia and California, and anywhere I could run)
I've been to paradise, never been to me
(I've been to Neice and the isle of Greece while I've sipped champagne on a yacht)
I've been to paradise, never been to me
(I've been to cryin' for unborn children that might have made me complete)
I've been to paradise, never been to me
(I've been to Georgia and California, and anywhere I could run)
I've been to paradise, never been to me

Remember This?

I heard this on some French station I found on iTunes last week and it's been stuck in my head ever since. You live with it for awhile ...

Catchy......Monday?

Blair - Hello Halo

blair | MySpace Music Videos
Here's a video from a friend in New Orleans, Blair. She's a very talented singer and songwriter who has a new album being released in January. The guy behind the keyboards playing the tambourine is Adam, one of my best buddies. He's the fella who plays all the keys on my forthcoming album. Enjoy!!

Python Documentary

Just a reminder that iFC is showing a six-part documentary on Monty Python this week, called Monty Python: Almost The Truth (The Lawyer's Cut). The first installment, "The Not-So-Exciting Beginnings," aired last night. Good stuff.

Check it out here.

Again with the birthdays!

Lurker turns 65! Or at least that's what the card says! Happy Birthday!

Where the Fuck is Joe?

Where the Fuck is Joe?

Meghan Mccain Rockin' the Cleavage

The would-be president's daughter is miffed at the controversy surrounding her breasty Twitter post.

For my money, it's the first time she's been remotely interesting.

Vintage Anyface Covers Now Available

Face the People! Anyface vintage live covers from their lost live album "We Must Have Been In Love" now available! Beautiful versions of 'Lost In Love', 'Big Balls', 'Hard to Say I'm Sorry' and more, rendered in loving detail. Act now!

Shit

Slow news week, I guess ...

The groaning, creaking wheels of justice

Back in January 2008 I posted this update on the dubious conviction of Enron's Jeff Skilling, in which I suggested his slim chance of getting his conviction reversed may have increased with the then-recent emergence of evidence of misconduct by the so-called Enron Task Force of prosecutors.

Things are looking up for Skilling. The Supreme Court has just taken his appeal, which is based on community bias, and, more important, his claim that the "honest services fraud" theory on which he was convicted was unconstitutionally vague. Back in Houston, his motion for a new trial based on prosecutorial misconduct is still pending, and there is some evidence that the current prosecutors down in Houston are facing the same problem faced by their DC colleagues regarding the aborted Ted Stevens prosecution: to what lengths should they go to cover up misconduct by their predecessors?

The abuse of the honest services fraud statute has gone largely unnoticed by those outside the world of white collar crime, but, as summed up nicely by Houston's Clear Thinkers, it deserves more attention:

Honest services wire-fraud under Section 1346 was intended by Congress to penalize corporate executives and governmental officials for accepting bribes and kickbacks and for engaging in self-dealing at the expense of the employer-- i.e., the private gain requirement of the crime.

The Task Force faced a big problem with prosecuting Skilling at all because he never stole a dime from Enron (that is, no private gain). In fact, the Task Force conceded at trial that, not only did Skilling not embezzle any money from Enron, the case against him was not about “greed,” that Skilling always sought to pursue Enron’s “best interests,” and that every act for which he was being prosecuted was undertaken for the purpose of protecting Enron and promoting its share price.

Despite the foregoing, the Task Force persuaded U.S. District Judge Sim Lake to allow the prosecution to proceed against Skilling on a much broader honest services theory -- that is, that Skilling simply took on too much risk for the long-term good of Enron and improperly touted the company to the markets.

You will be pleased to hear that I will let you all know if his conviction is overturned.

Another Bastard Birthday

(Above, Andrew at work)

Today is Andrew's birthday. Wish him well or he will make a motion that you are in contempt of Bastardry.

U2 stage

Happy Birthday, John

The Morning Light

This is not bad, Feels Thoroughly Peppy to me.

I don't know when I've been more ready for a weekend. Enjoy yours.

Where's Dildo?

Here's someone we all know enjoying Toxic Airborne Event at ACL.

When I was a boy, blowing up the moon was just a beautiful dream!

Sound familiar?

Finally, A PSA Teens Will Listen To

Weren't you a smoker, Joe?

Even The Beatles ...

Okay, what are your top five least favorite Beatles songs? You too, Stephen ...