Shit

"I learned to be a movie critic by reading Mad magazine... Mad's parodies made me aware of the machine inside the skin—of the way a movie might look original on the outside, while inside it was just recycling the same old dumb formulas. I did not read the magazine, I plundered it for clues to the universe."

Be sure to enjoy 50 Harshest Roger Ebert Movie Review Quotes.

I can't quite get his less-than-glowing reviews of Blue Velvet, (especially given that he co-wrote the screenplay for Russ Meyer's Beyond the Valley of the Dolls) and A Clockwork Orange.

But that may be just me -- I tend to like the worst artist about 100 times more than the best critic. Fuck Pitchfork and whatnot.

R.I.P. Mr Ebert. For telling us how bad The Village was:

"To call it an anticlimax would be an insult not only to climaxes but to prefixes. It's a crummy secret, about one step up the ladder of narrative originality from It Was All a Dream. It's so witless, in fact, that when we do discover the secret, we want to rewind the film so we don't know the secret anymore. And then keep on rewinding, and rewinding, until we're back at the beginning, and can get up from our seats and walk backward out of the theater and go down the up escalator and watch the money spring from the cash register into our pockets."

Free Willard!

Film star and Bastard hero Fred Willard (Spinal Tap, Anchorman,etc.) was arrested for lewd conduct at an adult-themed theater in L.A. last week. His only previous lewd conduct charge was in 1990, so he may get off with um, counseling. Story here.

Willard's review: a "lousy film".

I know, I know.. there are still adult theaters?

Super Gr8.

Super 8 is a fine way to spend your hard-earned entertainment dollar.  At times it feels like a tribute to Spielberg with shades of The Goonies, Jaws, Jurassic Park and ET, which spells good summer fun, with some sappiness, of course.  And Elle Fanning is a helluva good young actress. 

I really like that this was not 3-D, which has become tired and expensive.  After Avatar, the industry should have just said, "well, there you have it." 

What other summer films are on your radar?  (I know we're all about to wet our pants to see HP7b, so skip that one.)

Shutter Island

Saw it last night. It was compelling enough, but the plot had some serious problems. It's pretty clear Marty (I can call him that) is going for some new twists on classic psychological thriller touch-points, which he does well. DiCaprio's not awful, but Ben Kingsley seems to be trying too hard. Worth seeing, but it's not among his best.

Where the Wild Things Are

Anyone else seen this? I found it to be quite excellent. Spike Jonze has gone for a sun-dappled, washed out look that manages to illuminate and make you feel cold at the same time. I felt like it really captures the particular melancholy that is present in childhood. In fact, the movie isn't a children's movie at all- it's a movie about children, an important distinction in helping to decide whether or not your little ones will like it. On the con side, it dragged a bit, but the overall look and ideas made up for it for me.

Andrew was right

The Hurt Locker was fantastic, maybe the first great fictional film to come out of the Iraq war. Riveting, intense, often uncomfortable and always engrossing, this is the story of an army bomb squad under extreme pressure in an unfriendly place. Make every effort to see this one on the big screen, bastards.

Bruno - Swing and a Miss

I think SB Cohen misread the level of American homophobia in this film. Maybe 10 years ago this movie works, but today it really doesn't: he simply can't find effective butts for his jokes.

In Borat, the humor is clearly at the expense of the people who are outraged at his character. In Bruno, his targets are surprisingly tolerant of his over-the-top, in-your-face fagness. He gains some traction in the middle east and at a supposed ultimate fighting cage match, but in his encounters with real people, he has to create the humor himself -- his victims do not do him the favor of supplying the humor the way they did in Borat.

Bruno is an editor's nightmare: 20 minutes of good film and a 90 minute film to make. It's at best a renter, and probably disappointing even as that.

Every word is true........

Saw The Dark Knight last night at midnight, which was a first for me and a movie opening. But I'm a teacher, and that's the kind of stuff summers are for! Every word praising Heath Ledger in particular and the movie in general is earned. He totally lost himself in the role-you are never really cognizant that its an actor playing the Joker, it just IS the Joker. A performance for the ages and a movie that really had me thinking about good, evil, and what constitutes either in the post 9/11 world. I will probably see it again in the theater, something I haven't done since 1977.

Speaking of Musicals

This movie absolutely kicks ass. It's a musical in the sense that fully 2/3 of it is...music, though not the break out in song in the middle of a scene type of musical. The music in it is great. It makes me want to go out and get every one of the Frames' albums.

Stop whatever you're doing and go see it now.

Also, Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova had a song on the "I'm Not There" soundtrack.

See this now

Caught Charlie Wilson's War over the holiday and it is fantastic. Based on the true activities of Charlie Wilson, a congressman from Texas' 2nd district back in the 80s, the movie shows how Wilson went about arming the rebel Afghans who eventually beat back the Soviets. Sounds dull as hell, but the story is brisk, the acting excellent, and there is an undercurrent of humor that pulls it all together. Tom Hanks is Wilson, Julia Roberts plays a Houston socialite who hates communism, and Phillip Seymour Hoffman is just unbelievable as a CIA operative who puts the pieces together. Mike Nichols directed and it is definitely one of the best movies I've seen this year. Oh yeah, you get to see Tom Hanks naked in a hot tub full of nude strippers. At least Joe will see it now.

List of Controversial Films

Entertainment Weekly has an interesting list of the top 25 controversial films of all time. One thing that struck me about this list is the fact that so few recent films are deemed 'controversial'. Although I'm sure we all could come up with examples to the contrary, it seems like films don't take many risks anymore. They are great at aweing us, but don't stir the shit pot very often.

No Country for Old Men

Very cool film, see it, by all means. If a movie can be said to be feng shui, then this one is just that. All its parts seem in perfect harmony, the bleak landscape, very spare sets, almost no music in the whole film; there's a clinical coolness about it that creates an environment conducive to focusing on what the characters do. The film is never emotionally manipulative, never formulaic, and the only flaws I saw were when the film was in the service of the screenplay rather than the other way around. Several fervent monologues came off as stilted and literary, times when you're reminded that what the characters are saying is from a script, this is not real life. But a great film anyway. Saw several familiar cast members I couldn't place. Josh Brolin is one of the main characters, Mikey's big brother in Gooney's, and Renton's school girl from Trainspotting (and the girl in Tristram Shandy) was his wife. Tommy Lee was fine and probably in line for an Oscar nomination. The film gets nominated for many academy awards, but isn't the big winner, I think.

The Darjeeling Limited

I forgot to mention that when K and the kids were out of town last weekend, I treated myself to a movie, 'The Darjeeling Limited.' In some ways I'm over the poor-little-rich-kid thing Anderson's movies focus so much on, and I wasn't crazy about 'Life Aquatic' (but I only saw it once and would probably like it better if I got to see it again). I went in to this one without much in the way of expectations.

I thought it was pretty good, though certainly not gooooooood. It was for the most part well-written and acted (Brody is excellent), and funny (the constant pill scarfing is hilarious, but some of the jokes seem a little choreographed), if not a little too aware of its own preciousness. The soundtrack, on the other hand, is awesome, with splashes of old Kinks among the Indian (Bollywood?) tracks.

In short, it wasn't my favorite, but I look forward to seeing it again on DVD. Oh, and there's some Natalie Portman skin (careful!) in the short before the film.

Crack! D'oh! Stupefy!

I have been an entertainment machine this weekend. Thursday, we went to a Durham Bulls game. Great fun, great ballpark, sad game! The Bulls were up, 1-0, when, in the top of the ninth, the Norfolk Tide had a series of hits that led to a 4-1 final. Rats. Friday = Simpsons Movie! I enjoyed the movie, with the first 30 minutes yielding by far the most laughs. Still, lots of rewards for long time fans, but not nearly enough of Mr. Burns. Saturday, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. I finished the latest book while I was in Fucklanta last week, so I am very Potter-centric right now. The film, as all of them are, was enjoyable, but nothing will be able to compare to the first couple of films, because the corresponding books were so full of whimsy. The later books are more complex and interesting, but as films feel more like placemarkers for the final installment. This is what passes for culture in Durham these days.

A good way to handle criticism

Metacritic.com culls together reviews of stuff in a particularly effective way. I like getting a feel for the overall critical reception of a movie, but don't want to hear too many details about one I haven't seen, so it's perfect for me. It also links to scads of reviews, when you're ready for the details. They also cover music, in case any of ya'll are into that.

Knocked Up

We went to see 'Knocked Up' on Friday night (a good movie month for us- Pirates, Spidey, Knocked Up, and Ocean's 13 next weekend- more than we usually make it to in a year!). I'm sure you've read all the reviews- they pretty much have it right. Very funny, and definitely in the vein of 40 Year Old Virgin, i.e. sweet-natured and not only after cheap laughs. But there are plenty of those. The bit about the turd and the pubic hair alone ensures that! The protaganist and his schlubby friends are guys we can all relate to, even if we are a bit older than they are. There's a graphic scene of a crowning infant emerging from someone's v-jay-jay which should hold Lurker Mike's interest. Katherine Heigl looks delightful, but keeps her bra on for the sex scenes. Sorry Jay.

Good News, Bad News

So, Lurker and I caught Grindhouse last night. Supposedly, Rodriguez and Tarantino came up with the concept together at Tarantino's house - as in, in the same room at the same time. Having watched the film, I'm not sure; somehow, Rodriguez nailed the B-movie tone completely. Tarantino whiffed it.

Planet Terror, Rodriguez's contribution, is a zombie movie with the schlocky works - laughably bad dialog, odd plot twists, melting zombies, exploding heads ... all the stuff that we loved these movies for as teenagers. And because he shot on video, he could add lots of digital scratches and what-not to the "film," adding to the fun.

Now, maybe it's the Pabst Blue Ribbon talking, but Tarantino's movie, instead of being a loving homage to 70's and early 80's grindhouse theater, just comes across as a Tarantino movie. A solid 80% of Death Proof is spent talking about nothing. Remember how cool it was in Reservoir Dogs, when the guys sat around the table in the diner talking about Madonna and tipping and everything in-between? It was cool then. It was cool in Pulp Fiction (Royale with cheese!) and it was even cool in Kill Bill, but here it's just ... tiresome and boring, especially as it follows the movie that got it right. The big car chase at the end helps, I guess, but that's it? Something else that bothered me was how Tarantino again managed to work in the stereotypical black character. Instead of Sam Jackson, it's Tracie Thoms this time.

Between movies, there are some trailers for coming attractions. Two in particular to watch for are Don't and Thanksgiving. Oh, and the trailer that kicks the whole thing off, Machete, is better than Tarantino's whole movie.

Speaking of Stuff from Scandanavia.. Elling

This wonderful little film from Norway is so well-done it will almost certainly be turned into a disgustingly sweet and obnoxiously heart-warming hollywood remake in the near future. Accept no immitations! Pop this one into your Netflix queue today and they'll send it to you, if I ever decide to return it. As an added bonus, both characters will remind you a lot of Jay.

Children of Men: Best Movie in Ages

Go see this movie ASAP. Man is it a corker. Based on the novel by mystery writer P.D. James, Children of Men looks at a dystopian Britain in the year 2027. Due to an unexplained pandemic of female infertility, no children have been born since 2009. Clive Owen is a former activist who is enticed to smuggle a young refugee, and her secret, out of the country.

Not only does this have a great look, fantastic performances (Michael Caine as a dope-smoking former political cartoonist), and a thought-provoking premise, the visual sequences quite literally left me breathless on occasion. You'll love the world's slowest getaway scene and the long single-take scene in which a car is attacked is a wonder in this day of cheap CGI shit. The entire thing is shot from the interior of the car - you are there. Amazing.

I'm a junkie for '70s movies- films that told a story and developed characters and concentrated less on the more technical aspects of film-making. Much of modern cinema leaves me very, very cold. This movie was a refreshing change of pace and one I'll be thinking about for ages and ages.