Onion on the Mark Again

Fuck Everything, Nation Reports

Just Fuck It All To Hell

Stare Dad Comics

Ok, these are completely fucked up, but they make you laugh in a demented sort of way. Basically, this cartoon started it all, and now people use the graphics and add their own captions. The poor little boy comes to his dad with a problem. Dad can't be bothered and he stares him down. Hilarity ensues. The result is an example of demented parenting... or hours of fun.

If you like what you see here, and I think you do, you can find TONS more here. The greatest hits can be found here.

A Known Issue

You more observant bastards may have noticed that our comment count is fucked. It shows 0 for all of our recent posts. Blogger is aware of the issue.

But don't hold your breath for a speedy resolution. Peeps have been reporting this to Blogger's help forum since March. Yay.

Well, This Sucks

From The LA Times, earlier this year:

Jones joined the ranks of the unemployed on Jan. 17, when Indie 103.1, the scruffy but revered L.A. rock station, became a victim of a vicious downturn in advertising revenue. For five years, the Sex Pistol had been the gloriously unpolished voice of "Jonesy's Jukebox," an eccentric and unpredictable two-hour lunchtime show on which he played any obscure record he wanted, chatted up famous guests or just, well, whistled.

Read the rest here after your tears have dried.

Pink Slip

I got mine.

What A Dick

From Wired News:

Vice President Dick Cheney's office pushed for major deletions in congressional testimony on the public health consequences of climate change, fearing the presentation by a leading health official might make it harder to avoid regulating greenhouse gases, a former EPA officials maintains.

When six pages were cut from testimony on climate change and public health by the head of the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention last October, the White House insisted the changes were made because of reservations raised by White House advisers about the accuracy of the science.

You can read the rest of this depressing article here.

39 And Fit As A Fiddle

Happy birthday to me
Happy birthday to me
My best friends are bastards
Happy birthday to me

Yikes

Better add Amy Winehouse to your dead pool. According to the Daily Mail (which I assume is some British rag):

Onlookers said she appeared disorientated as she wandered around on the pavement for several minutes in the freezing cold before disappearing back inside.

"She came out of the house, walked down the drive and wandered around on the pavement for a bit.

"She looked upset and agitated but there was no obvious reason for her to have come outside. It was weird."

Maybe rehab wasn't such a bad idea.

Have A Good Lunch

From cracked.com, the 6 most terrifying foods in the world.

Humans are like goats. We'll eat any damned thing. Just ask the people who make PowerBars.

In fact, you'll find foods in this world that don't even seem possible. Not just that they could exist, but that people would actually stick this stuff in their mouths without a gun to their head.

We've found six dishes that seemed to have sprung from Satan's own cookbook.

Funny, disgusting and just in time for Halloween.

Read the whole article here.

What Happened?

Winona Ryder is younger than we are, right?

Q&A: Cruising Public Restrooms with Lewd Intentions

Read all about it here, because I KNOW you were wondering. (Hey, isn't that one of the Village People he's with?)

You know what's great about Atlanta?

Nothing! What a boring ass, piece of shit town. Downtown blows, the bars and restaurants are far and few between, there are cops all over the place (never a good sign!) and the people are fat and dull. Homer, Alaska had far more action than this sorry excuse for a Metropolis. And if I see one more street called 'Peachtree' I'll crap myself. And oh yeah, Michael Vick, dog-torturer. Yecchh.

Is It Getting Funnier or Scarier?

From Salon:

friends of the president from Texas were "shocked recently to find him nearly wild-eyed, thumping himself on the chest three times while he repeated, 'I am the president!' He also made it clear he was setting Iraq up so his successor could not get out of 'our country's destiny.'"

Kickin' up your heels, North Korean-style!

There's a discussion on today's Salon Audiofile about pop music in repressive N. Korea. Mike Powell, a writer for Styus: "I've been thinking a lot about what it means to appreciate music. If North Koreans have only one kind of music available to them, is their appreciation of it a moot point? Is it perverse to talk about people's enjoyment of something when they have no other choices? There is information that suggests that because of the fact that Western music is illegal there, most North Koreans don't even know that other music exists...there's no indication that the public has ever heard Elvis or the Beatles." I weep for the people of North Korea.

Fascinating. And Thoroughly Creepy.

This is the entire episode of a BBC program called Panorama ("Scientology & Me"). A clip of the journalist losing his shit made the rounds earlier in the week. You'll get to see why.