For what it's worth, whenever I meet a woman named Regina, I make a point of pronouncing her name with a long i. And I still giggle when I say 1)uvula, 2)cocksure and 3)fucking cunt, eventhough they aren't really dirty.
When I was teaching in PR, I was doing an advanced comp class and the students had to write a profile of a person. There was a girl in the class who was hooooooooot (not that I checked out students or anything). Anyway, she wanted to profile her father who bred fighting cocks. You can see where this is going. Anyway, we were talking about it with the class and she said "I want to do my father...he raises cocks." The room was silent for about two seconds, then these two Nuyorican kids in the back fell on the floor laughing. I couldn't help but join them.
My mom was once trying to choose a tile color for the bathroom, and as I'm sure you guys know, they have a million shades of off-white and beige. So she's standing there with a male salesman looking at several squares of tile, and after asking to see various colors, she says, "Show me your bone."
That's one of my all time favorite embarrassing stories from our family's archives ...
When I lived in Bulgaria, I was camping with this outdoors group, all older Bulgarians, and we were staying in this lodge drinking it up and having a good time. Anyhoo, I was sitting across the table from this little girl and her father (huge, burly guy), and I was playing with her (ooh, that sounds dirty) and I went to do the 'I got your nose' game.
Luckily, a friend of mine who had lived there for awhile (American guy) grabs my hand just as I pull it away from her nose, and explains to me that the thing you do with your thumb is a Bulgarian gesture indicating the female yoohoo. I spoke almost no Bulgarian at the time. What if I had actually done it? I probably wouldn't be here to tell the tale.
As God is my witness, I will one day be in a band that covers "Friendly Friendly Bitch." In fact, I think I'll move that to the Fragrant Teenage Pregnancy right now.
17 comments:
For what it's worth, whenever I meet a woman named Regina, I make a point of pronouncing her name with a long i. And I still giggle when I say 1)uvula, 2)cocksure and 3)fucking cunt, eventhough they aren't really dirty.
blowhole
cock fight
hole puncher
masticate
penal farm
When I was teaching in PR, I was doing an advanced comp class and the students had to write a profile of a person. There was a girl in the class who was hooooooooot (not that I checked out students or anything). Anyway, she wanted to profile her father who bred fighting cocks. You can see where this is going. Anyway, we were talking about it with the class and she said "I want to do my father...he raises cocks." The room was silent for about two seconds, then these two Nuyorican kids in the back fell on the floor laughing. I couldn't help but join them.
Anytime the word 'balls' comes up, i always laugh.
Also, in the UK an eraser is a 'rubber,' so I always got to laugh at that living overseas.
In the news: British seamen
Put it in the trunk
I also see a lot of filenames for research analysis called "studentanal.doc" or something like that.
"We're going to spend a lot of time on Foucault this semester..."
Joe wins.
angina
manhole
My mom was once trying to choose a tile color for the bathroom, and as I'm sure you guys know, they have a million shades of off-white and beige. So she's standing there with a male salesman looking at several squares of tile, and after asking to see various colors, she says, "Show me your bone."
That's one of my all time favorite embarrassing stories from our family's archives ...
When I lived in Bulgaria, I was camping with this outdoors group, all older Bulgarians, and we were staying in this lodge drinking it up and having a good time. Anyhoo, I was sitting across the table from this little girl and her father (huge, burly guy), and I was playing with her (ooh, that sounds dirty) and I went to do the 'I got your nose' game.
Luckily, a friend of mine who had lived there for awhile (American guy) grabs my hand just as I pull it away from her nose, and explains to me that the thing you do with your thumb is a Bulgarian gesture indicating the female yoohoo. I spoke almost no Bulgarian at the time. What if I had actually done it? I probably wouldn't be here to tell the tale.
Jay, if I had a nickel for every time your mother said "Show me your bone" to some guy...
This thread alone could inspire a baker's dozen of Bleeps' songs. If they weren't fucking broken up.
cummerbund
As God is my witness, I will one day be in a band that covers "Friendly Friendly Bitch." In fact, I think I'll move that to the Fragrant Teenage Pregnancy right now.
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