Tuesday, March 13, 2007

The Devil's Dictionary

What’s with this insomnia business? Now you’ve got me doing it!

I couldn’t sleep last night, so I started thumbing through Ambrose Bierce’s The Devil’s Dictionary. It’s full of some wonderfully acerbic satire. Here are a few sample definitions:

Bigot, n. One who is obstinately and zealously attached to an opinion that you do not entertain.

Cabbage, n. A familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise as a man’s head.

Infidel, n. In New York, one who does not believe in the Christian religion; in Constantinople, one who does.

Egotist, n. A person of low taste, more interested in himself than in me.

Present, n. That part of eternity dividing the domain of disappointment from the realm of hope.

It may not cure your insomnia, but is a less extreme option than needle-eye Jay’s suggestion (exercise).

2 comments:

Dave said...

I love the one for infidel. Fucking classic and helps to explain a lot of the bullshit in the world in one short sentence.

Jay said...

Here's another one that goes a long way towards explaining mucho bullshit in the world. (I don't own the book, Mike, but I get quotes on my customized Google home page.)

Corporation, n. An ingenious device for obtaining individual profit without individual responsibility.

Now, get your ass on a treadmill, Dave!