Nothing much, how about you?

Nice to know I didn't really miss anything here while I was away, other than major life events for two-thirds of the remaining bastards. I'm talking, of course, about Joe putting his house on the market and Dave finding that amazing REM blog. So Jay, what did you do? Chicago was excellent, except for a wreck Saturday night with an uninsured driver with a revoked license who tried to run away after causing the crash. Luckily we weren't hurt and one of Chicago's finest caught up to the other car a few blocks down the road. Good times. But today has been way too Monday.

Here Goes Nothin...

We're on the market. I'll try not to winge as much as Jay did. I'll try.

Nice Boys

The Nice Boys are the new band from Terry Six, the last surviving member of the Exploding Hearts, and former members of the Riffs. I've been listening to it all weekend and I'm getting carpal tunnel in my toes from the constant tapping.

It's up.

Interesting R.E.M. Blog

Some fella has started a pretty cool REM blog. His plan is to open up a discussion/interpretation about every single song in the REM catalog. Some of it is pretty insightful, and all of it made me want to dig the albums out and give them a fresh listen. He also is a big fan and supporter of the oft-maligned 'later' years, so its nice to get his take on some of the more current material that most are less familiar with.

My View From The Stage

Good turn-out last night! I had more fun than should be legally allowed, and I got to talk to people that I haven't seen in years.

Kram's roommate recorded it all live to two track, and I'm working on obtaining a copy. He played a little for me off his laptop las night, and the sound quality is crystal clear.

Flyer For Da Show

Subteens Rock Again

Interview number two, from The Commercial Appeal. We got the cover of Playbook, the paper's weekend insert! And a quote from Craig Brewer (Hustle & Flow, Black Snake Moan).

In Search of the Subteens

Courtesy of The Memphis Flyer, the first interview is ... AWAY!

Halpert as Schrute

I know there are some Office fans here and the above clip is the cold intro for tonight's episode, "Product Recall". The writing and performances on this show continue to amaze me. Although some have complained that this season has stalled a little, I tend to disagree. The Office is one of the few comedies that consistently rewards repeated viewings and continues to be funny each time. If you are not a fan yet, by all means pick up Seasons 1 and 2 at the vid store or Netflix and revel in the awkward glory.

Beautiful Chicago!

I'm roadtripping to Chicago tomorrow with a friend from college, so the blog will be a lurker-free environment for a few precious days. Can't wait to hear about the Subteens show. Have fun with it Jaime.

George W. Jedi

YouTube is revolutionizing how Americans waste their time. There are lots of great Robot Chicken shorts out there these days from Adult Swim, most of which are worth 4 minutes of what's left of your life.

Because We Support Our Troops

All right girls, I'm not going to go into any detail about what you are going to see here. Just know that overall it is NSFW. I hope you experience the same range of emotions from incredulity to hilarity that I did. Make sure you listen to all the words, all the way through. Eat this Lee Greenwood and Toby Keith!

We Missed Nick Lowe's Birthday...

but it was exactly one month ago today, so I don't think it's too late to make it Nick Lowe Day here at LBU.

Even CEO Can't Figure Out How RadioShack Still In Business

Funny at The Onion.

"Even the name 'RadioShack'—can you imagine two less appealing words placed next to one another?" Day said. "What is that, some kind of World War II terminology? Are ham radio operators still around, even? Aren't we in the digital age?"

Big Thought Malaise

Nothing makes us faded rock guys think the Big Thoughts like giving interviews.

Okay, I'm only half-kidding.

Kram and I sat down with Chris Davis (The Memphis Flyer) yesterday, and I must say, I sounded like a fucking moron. It's one of my insecurities, but I HATE talking about myself under any circumstances. I especially hate talking about myself to a local paper. Does anyone honestly care? Even as the words were coming out of my mouth, my brain was screaming, "No, you idiot! You're removing all doubt!"

It beggars (buggers?) belief that anyone still gives a shit about this train wreck of a band, and it's a tad humiliating as I draw a bead on 40 that my one great achievement (besides producing my children) was getting drunk and jumping around a filthy stage like an epileptic monkey. Interviews just bring that into focus, especially as that's all we end up talking about.

I'm having a great time catching up with Kram - now that he's Kram again - and relearning the songs has been a fun challenge, but this experience is reminding me of why I quit in the first place. Now I just want to hang around the house and play with my kids. What emotional deficiency made me feel the need to perform in front of others in the first place? It wasn't all about showing off for girls, was it?

Brush with Celebrity

I went to a trendy Austin restaurant because a friend came in town to visit. We were waiting in the bar for a table, and Willem Dafoe came in. He's really short, and had no movie star babe with him. He didn't have to wait for a table, either.

Of Interest ......

Paul Westerberg's wife, Laurie Lindeen, has written a book about life in a rock and roll band during the late eighties and early nineties. The publisher says it best:

"Set in the years between the meteoric launches of Madonna and Courtney Love, Petal Pusher takes readers on a stirring journey across rock and roll, from the big-haired 1980s to the grunge-filled 1990s, when Laurie Lindeen brought her all-girl band, Zuzu's Petals, to compete in the indie rock arena. Minneapolis in the eighties was a musical hotbed, the land of 10,000 lakes and 10,000 bands that gave birth to Prince, the Replacements, and Soul Asylum. For Laurie Lindeen it was the perfect place to launch her rock-and-roll dream. She moved to the city with her best friends Phyll ("Annie Oakley meets Patsy Cline") and Coleen ("former cheerleader gone off the arty deep end") to crash in decrepit apartments and coax punk rock from crappy used guitars. But unbeknownst to her friends, Laurie has a secret in her past -- a diagnosis of multiple sclerosis that fuels her passion to make it big on the local, national, and international rock scene. With inspiring determination, Laurie and her Zuzu's Petals survive the many challenges of being underdogs in a man's world. Then Laurie is thrown a curveball when she falls for Paul Westerberg of Replacements fame and reevaluates exactly what it means to "make it big." By turns hilarious and heartrending, Petal Pusher is a brilliant behind-the-scenes look at music on the front lines, and the awe-inspiring tale of one woman's fight against disease and the disillusionment of life in the rock underground".

Could be a nice read for fans of rock and roll, the Minneapolis scene, and Paul Westerberg. I think we have some of those here.

It's 4/20

Don't make me yawn.

Why Yes, This Will Kick Ass! Why Do You Ask?

Fellas, it's looking like a good weekend to catch a movie. I'm sure you recall my childlike enthusiasm for Shaun Of The Dead a few months back? Allegedly, more of the same. (In a good way.) Hot Fuzz is a loving tribute to all the mindless buddy cop movies from the last 30+ years.

Feel free to visit the official site, or check out the interview with Nick Frost, Simon Pegg, and Edgar Wright over to The Onion's A.V. Club.

In the Hands of Such a Lot of Fools

I love this video. Elvis starts out with 'Less Than Zero,' but then goes into a scorching 'Radio Radio,' which he was evidently told not to play. Back when SNL was something you might actually want to watch.

Cool Anime From Korea

Clip from a AACHI AND SSIPAK, currently unavailable in the States. Legally, I mean.

Why Can't All Songs Be This Good?

Couldn't they have named it Pan or Apollo?

Some geeks who know more about music than Greek mythology have started the Pandora music service. It breaks down the essential characteristics of a song or artist into what they call genes and plays you songs with matching traits. You put in an artist you like to create a station, then give their song suggestions thumbs up or down for how well they match your taste. I issued it some major challenges yesterday, creating stations for Smoking Popes, Tom Waits, Anthony & the J.s and a "Sufjan Costello" station (your can use multiple artists for it to consider). On the up side, they served up some stuff I'd have been very unlikely to find through other sources, sometimes a single track from an artist you wouldn't associate with the musical type you selected. On the down side, they must have a lot of categorizing still to do, the play lists tended to be very repetitive. Also on the down side, if the service's name bears out, the product will unleash all manner of suffering and misery into the world. Probably worth it though, if the music is strong enough. www.pandora.com Joe: They're hiring! However, there's this deflating statement in the job description: "No musical experience necessary." Also, under job requirements: "White fur coat." Doh!

FUCK!

My son broke his arm a little while ago, playing superhero at school. His teacher told me that she watched in disbelief as he jumped from the top of the slide.

I'll keep you posted ...

The Sound Of A Man Breaking Down

Jay mentioned at one point that Weezer's 'Pinkerton' "sounds like a nervous breakdown set to music." This was mentioned in the context of Big Star's "Third / Sister Lovers" album, which is also testament to decomposition. Going through my own steady decline, I thought I should add 'Empty Glass' by Pete Townshend. Feel the Pain.

Dylan 303 - Follow The Prophet

Continuing Mike Lurker's education of Dylan's later works, I suggest Desire, Planet Waves, and Street Legal.

Notes:
Desire - "Hurricane," "Sara," "One More Cup of Coffee," lots of violin, and the album which was around the time of the Rolling Thunder Revue. I also really like "Joey" and "Isis"

She said, "Where ya been?" I said, "No place special."
She said, "You look different." I said, "Well, not quite."
She said, "You been gone." I said, "That's only natural."
She said, "You gonna stay?" I said, "If you want me to, Yes."

Planet Waves - With the Band, "Tough Mama" is the last song I want to hear before I die.

Street Legal - the chorus of black girls on almost every song gets a bit tiresome, but worth it for "Where Are You Tonight?" and "Senor (Tales of Yankee Power)".

Listen to these after you've memorized "Visions of Johanna" and can explain why the ghost of electricity howls in the bones of her face.

Speaking Of Dan Zanes

Speaking of Dan Zanes, I have a huge crush on Barbara Brousal, the guitar player in his kiddie band. Whenever those videos pop-up on the Disney Channel, I'm glued. (She's in the red dress, playing mandolin in this video.)

He Called Me

I think I mentioned at one point that I applied for a job at the RnR Hall of Fame. I knew I wouldn't get it (it was a VP Position), but I thought what they hell. I called their HR to try and talk to someone with the hopes that they would have something I was actually qualified for, and long story short, they sent my number to the current VP of Education there. Turns out it's Warren Zanes of the Del Fuegos, brother of kid rock sensation Dan Zanes. He left a message on my answering machine listing all the reasons I wasn't qualified for the job. It was pretty funny.

I've been going crazy with getting the house ready to go on the market (everybody says it'll sell in no time, Jay, so I'm not nervous at all) and working on my dissertation.

Geek Out!

First official image of Iron Man, presumably early in the movie when he's escaping the prison camp. Pretty damn true to the original, I might add.

By all accounts, Iron Man will be approximately 39.4842 times better than both Fantastic Four movies combined. (Statisticians ... go figure!) Did y'all know that Jon Favreau is directing and Robert Downey, Jr. is Tony Stark?

May 2008 release!

Shit...

Because Lurker Mike has apparently taken some 'compromsing' photos of Jay.....

... I offer this PSA. For real. I guess we've given up preaching abstinence from drugs and supporting literacy in our PSAs. Now we have to tell teenagers not to show their boobies on the internets. My only complaint is that the PSA shows a photo so innocent it could be a senior picture!

This Is Interesting ...

Nine Inch Nails became a guilty pleasure of mine after 2005's With Teeth. I take solace in the fact that long-time NIN fans HATE the new, more accessible stuff. Although Year Zero won't be released in the States until the 17th, an extremely complex, alternate reality game has been underway since February 12th. (And yes, Year Zero is a concept album, following the logical progression of the world as it is, 15 years into the future.)

The game has absolutely nothing to do with rock 'n' roll, but it sure as hell is an interesting cross promotional device, scheduled to continue for another three years. If you have some time, you have got to check out this elaborate "campaign" and the bizarre manner in which clues are planted and discovered.

Sheesh, when we were kids, all we could do is sit and stare at the album cover ...

Good News, Bad News

So, Lurker and I caught Grindhouse last night. Supposedly, Rodriguez and Tarantino came up with the concept together at Tarantino's house - as in, in the same room at the same time. Having watched the film, I'm not sure; somehow, Rodriguez nailed the B-movie tone completely. Tarantino whiffed it.

Planet Terror, Rodriguez's contribution, is a zombie movie with the schlocky works - laughably bad dialog, odd plot twists, melting zombies, exploding heads ... all the stuff that we loved these movies for as teenagers. And because he shot on video, he could add lots of digital scratches and what-not to the "film," adding to the fun.

Now, maybe it's the Pabst Blue Ribbon talking, but Tarantino's movie, instead of being a loving homage to 70's and early 80's grindhouse theater, just comes across as a Tarantino movie. A solid 80% of Death Proof is spent talking about nothing. Remember how cool it was in Reservoir Dogs, when the guys sat around the table in the diner talking about Madonna and tipping and everything in-between? It was cool then. It was cool in Pulp Fiction (Royale with cheese!) and it was even cool in Kill Bill, but here it's just ... tiresome and boring, especially as it follows the movie that got it right. The big car chase at the end helps, I guess, but that's it? Something else that bothered me was how Tarantino again managed to work in the stereotypical black character. Instead of Sam Jackson, it's Tracie Thoms this time.

Between movies, there are some trailers for coming attractions. Two in particular to watch for are Don't and Thanksgiving. Oh, and the trailer that kicks the whole thing off, Machete, is better than Tarantino's whole movie.

The Latest Media Pawns

Rutgers player: "We'd just like to express our great hurt."

My first thought at the Don Imus controversy was, "Thank God something sufficiently newsworthy has come along to shove Anna Nicole off the front page!" Nevermind about a depressing war and the advancing nuclear weapons capability of some of our third-world enemies, a DJ has said something ugly about someone! Al Sharpton's involved? Sweet! But now that the insulted Rutger's team has agreed to meet with Imus to "express their great hurt," it's starting to depress me. I think they're being manipulated by the interests at work in the situation. It's all fine when it's a couple of sparring media clowns, but now they're trying to cast real people in key roles and I don't think anyone has bothered to tell them it's just theater.

Who's Your Drummer?

Alright you musical heavyweights, construct your own dreamteam garage band. Living artists only, don't try some Morrison-Hendrix-Moon combo, that won't fly. I know this is a total dweeb question, but you know you're sitting there thinking up a total dweeb answer, so it's cool.

Heartrending story from my weekend

It was a bizarre accident. It all happened so quickly and then, when the tragic ending was utterly unavoidable, when the cruel dance of fate had been set inexorably into motion, the world slowed to a slideshow to impress each passing image on my mind, images that torture me still... It was a chilly Friday night in Memphis. I decided to move my TV to a shelf unit. It seemed like a good idea at the time. But when situated, the back of the TV pressed uncomfortably against the back panel of the shelf, so it wasn't sitting quite securely. (Cue the ominous minor chord in the background.) I decided that the back of the shelf was expendable and started carefully prying out the staples that held it on. All around the edges I went, removing staples, while the night held its breath, watching how ignorantly I fumbled toward my heartbreaking destiny. When all the staples had been removed around the edges, I gave the back panel a pull to pry it away from the shelf, but a devious row of staples running across the middle held it on, jerking the panel out of my grip and slingshotting it back against the back of the television, sitting, you'll remember, insecurely on the shelf. From my vantage point behind the shelf unit, I heard the slap of the panel against the TV and around the side I could see the TV tip forward and dive screen-first into the hardwood floor. I could only watch. And that was it, it was busted. Shattered in the prime of its life. It shook the house and my weekend. After intervals of profanity and unsuccessful attempts at resuscitation, I carried its lifeless body to the street. When I awoke the next morning, it was gone and now only the scars remain.

Feel the Pharmacists...?

I sold some motorcycle parts late last week and spent all the money on music. Ted Leo and the Pharmacist's 'Living With the Living' is powerpop bliss. A couple of distractions, but there are a few songs that are just brilliant - "Colleen" and "La Costa Brava" stand out immediately. The guy's obviously been listening to the same music we have. You know where...

I also went and saw the True Believers this weekend at the Continental Club. I had heard of them for years, but never had the pleasure. Now I wonder what I've been doing with my time. They were SO loud and SO GOOD! Alejandro Escovedo's brother, Javier, is like a Mexican Dave Davies. They just smoked from beginning to end. Jim Dickinson produced them back in the day. Unfortunately no recording is available at this time.

They had a band called 'Manejo Beto' open for them, a Tejano punk band, more or less. Their CD doesn't do their live show justice at all, but is fun for a listen. They came across a lot better with a head full of beer and a lot of cute girls dancing. That's the way it goes, I guess. It's up too.

Finally, there's 'Flies on Sherbert.' You can see why AC produced the Cramps around this time. Also by Dickinson and also up.

And Mike Lurker, your Dylan 101 begins with 'Blonde on Blonde' and 'Blood on the Tracks.' The two, if not best, at least most important / accessible of the post folk stuff. And my hippy friend loaned me some old hip hop stuff, Disposable Heroes of Hiphoprisy and The Beatnigs, both of which involved Michael Franti.

Happy Monday, Bastards!

Sopranos! Sopranos! Sopranos!

The first of the last nine episodes of the sixth and final season (!) of the Sopranos aired last night. One quick phone call on Friday afternoon and we were back in the HBO saddle. Man, I had forgotten how much I love this show, and the way all the pieces are being positioned, it seems like we're heading for a humdinger of a finale. Anybody else catch it?

(By the way, A&E's version of the show is like watching your favorite R rated movie on NBC: it sucks.)

Here's a summary of the episode, in case you're interested.

My Favorite Joke

What do you call a black guy who flies a plane?

Arrogance, Incompetence, Cynicism

TIME hits the bullseye with this short article.

When Bush came to office--installed by the Supreme Court after receiving fewer votes than Al Gore--I speculated that the new President would have to govern in a bipartisan manner to be successful. He chose the opposite path, and his hyper-partisanship has proved to be a travesty of governance and a comprehensive failure.

Okay, Now I'm Playing The Show

Bubba called me on Wednesday afternoon. After catching up for a bit, he asked me what I thought about the reunion show. Long story short, I explained what went down with Kram and that I had no interest in WATCHING a show. Apparently, that was never his intention, and Terrence had already offered to play guitar for the entire show so I could play bass. Both of those guys feel that I'm more of a Subteen than they are, and whatever level of participation I want is fine with them.

So why would Kram do that? Am I being punished for quitting?

Anyway, later that evening, Michael Donahue interviewed us for a big article in the CA that'll run before the show. He asked how I found out about the reunion, and I said, "Mark called and asked me if I wanted to come watch a show."

The totally shitfreaking part of all of this is that people still talk about the band. The guys on Rock 103's afternoon show play our songs in regular rotation and lament the fact that the Subteens are gone. And, according to Donahue, Craig Brewer mentioned us at the premiere of Black Snake Moan. Seriously, what the fuck?

I Told You All Brits Were Geniuses

Okay, I saw this awhile back, but it may be new to you. Gentlemen, I present the Bounce-O-Meter. Created by the luckiest web designers on the planet and delivered by your least favorite bastard. Can you imagine the hours of research that must have gone into this ground-breaking online accomplishment? Sweet ... hypnotic ... research ...

Check it.

Well This is Exciting...

$11.00 More Than I Thought

When you enter a domain name on dnscoop, it'll estimate its value.

Too early to cash in?

Thought for the Day, provided by Mr. Keith Richards

"The strangest thing I've tried to snort? My father. I snorted my father. He was cremated and I couldn't resist grinding him up with a little bit of blow. My dad wouldn't have cared...It went down pretty well, and I'm still alive."

--Keith Richards, quoted in Brit music mag NME.

But Is It Perfect?

I applied for a job at the Rock'n Roll Hall of Fame. Seriously.

Anyway, I was going through their website and looked at the Who's bio. It calls Who's Next "a flawless album of discreet numbers." So I came home and listened to it, and I would have to say that yes, it is flawless. Perfect, even.

So what are the other flawless albums? I can't even include 'Blonde on Blonde' because it's got "Rainy Day Women" which for me is kind of a mole on the album. Right now, all I can come up with is:

"Tonight's The Night" by Neil Young and Crazy Horse.
"Sticky Fingers" by some band I can't remember the name of.
"The Clash" by The Clash.

What else?

An Invitation

Costello and the Imposters are playing in Washington DC at the famed 9:30 Club on May 18 (which is a Friday night). Tickets to this intimate venue go on sale on Saturday. I'm definitely going, as is my good friend Andy from Washington DC. Any of you other gals up for this? I'd be happy to score as many tickets as possible (not sure of the limit though). Accomodations will be provided, so no expenditures there. I know this is probably difficult or even impossible, but I thought I'd put it out there. By the way, the raison d'etre is the rerelease of some of the original albums on Universal music and some compilations, such as the one pictured above. Any takers, pussies?

The Rules of Remakes

OK, favorite remakes? These come to mind:

1. Mad World-Gary Jules

2. Bastards of Young-Jesse Malin

3. Lady-The Dan Band

From William Shatner's Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds to Richard Cheese's Enter Sandman, talentless hacks are always going to be out there ruining perfectly good songs. Some remakes are poorly done, but some seem to border on sacrilege. I wonder if we could identify the elements of awful remakes, for the future of mankind, offer guidelines for making acceptable remakes. Any ideas, you musicians?

Jarvis Cocker Seems Cool

Very interesting Jarvis Cocker interview over at Pitchfork (shudder). He's a fascinating dude; for example, as guest editor of The Observer Music Monthly, he organized a panel to determine whether or not music still matter(s).

It was just a question that had been on my mind a lot at that particular time, because there seems to be a contradiction in the fact that there's more music around and more channels or downloading music or more channels on TV, and yet at the same time, in some ways it doesn't seem to be as vital as it once was. It seems to be just another entertainment option or lifestyle enhancement aid or something. And it's something that I've been thinking about.

And when you're done with the article, you can listen to his entire solo album from Spinner. I haven't made it all the way through, but anybody who writes a song whose full tile is "Cunts Are Still Running The World" is okay with me.

And Now ... Your Most Embarrassing Five

Time for a little soul searching, ladies. Name the five most embarrassing bands (specifying album) that you would hesitate to admit to other music snobs that you actively listen or listened to. Anything from birth to present. And leave the Subteens off. That's a given.

Here's mine (gulp):

1) The Bee Gees - Their Greatest Hits

2) Motley Crue - Shout At The Devil

3) The Outfield - Play Deep

4) KISS - Destroyer, Rock And Roll Over, Love Gun

5) Green Day - Dookie

You guys still like me, right? Heh heh. Right?

I Feel Like I'm Being Watched

Continuing With the Gay Theme

The only CD my wife has had in her car the past couple months has been Lily Allen's 'Alright, Still...' After listening to it about 5 times, I have to admit that it's good. Really good. Jay, this is your daughter in 15 years. Enjoy.

For the People.

Stupid Funny

Pope John Paul II Miraculously Transforms Hanky into Dove

In case you haven't been paying attention, the effort to make PJP II a saint is picking up steam. But finding verifiable miracles in this skeptical age can be a sticky wicket. This from the actual news article: "The Vatican's complicated saint-making procedures require that a miracle attributed to the candidate's intercession be confirmed before beatification. A second miracle after beatification is necessary for canonization. The Congregation for the Causes of Saints will appoint medical experts to determine if there are medical explanations for the nun's recovery. Theologians will then determine if the cure came as a result of prayer to John Paul."

http://www.kansascity.com/mld/kansascity/17012426.htm

Maybe next they can investigate the connection between the groundhog seeing his shadow and the coming of Spring, although I don't think there's ever been a rodent elevated to sainthood. (no offense, those of you with Catholic wives!)

ANOTHER Lurker?

Okay, this is odd: on Friday, I noticed that we had one too many bastards who should be working right now. You guys ARE keeping this thing a secret, right?

Jokes Over ... I'm Getting A Headache

I was planning on keeping the pink for the rest of the day, but it's giving me a headache.

Anyway, April Fools.

Keep on Rockin' in the Pink World!

The blog was like, so in need of a new direction! I've always been a little shy about my manga fixation, but now I feel really empowered to sparkle. Let's all try to add a little flair to our site! C'mon, Dave! Get with the program!

The Book of Ratings

While trying to find out how many plagues were visited upon Egypt (don't ask why), I stumbled across the Book of Ratings wherein anything that can be rated, is. Some particularly entertaining articles deal with rating Green Arrow's array of arrows, state quarters, and the aforementioned plagues of Egypt. Just the kind of pop culture referencing snark bullshit we all love.