I'm Speechless

Like I Was Saying ...

Here's my simple plan:

1. Drink black coffee at home.  (I already do at work.)
2. Eat a healthier breakfast.  No more PopTarts and muffins.  Half a cup of oatmeal, handful of raisins (or chopped up banana), handful of almonds, cinnamon.
3. Eat a healthier lunch. I take my lunch to work four days a week, so that should be easy.  Turkey sandwich on wheat bread (no cheese), pretzels, fruit.
4. No more snacking after dinner.
5. No drinking during the week.  A beer or two every night is killing me.
6. I'll pay more attention to portion sizes.
7. I'll work out at least three times a week, but hopefully four.

Somehow, I've managed to regain most of my weight. I got on the scales a week ago, and to my horror (notice I didn't say surprise), I'm back up to 193 pounds. Unacceptable. Of the things on my original list, I'm still doing one.

Bastards, I'm rededicating myself to the lifestyle pledge I made three years ago. Anybody else?

Labor Day Already? Give Me An Air Conditioner, A Couch, A Movie..

Stay indoors. It's too hot for bastards outside.

Joe's On The Road, So ...

I'll take his Vintage Pinup Friday. Submitted for your approval, Lillian Parker (AKA Adrienne Stoute). Miss Parker was an innovator. If you Google her - and you should - you'll quickly notice that she was trimming the infield 40 years before that was an acceptable practice.

Bonus!

I Propose Vintage Pinup Friday

I'll start things off with Debbie Westmore.

Mutt

Cory Branan has a new one out called Mutt on Bloodshot Records. That's almost a major label debut, no? Stream on Spinner here, get a free MP3 of first single Bad Man here, and that might be the second best album cover ever.

TGIF!

Have a good long weekend, Bastards! Go Seminoles!

Beautiful!

A Norvin is a Norton frame with a Vincent engine. Lovely, innit?

I'm pretty sure Jay wrote this song...

And people say country music has lost its emotional heft...

Grinderman

New single featuring Robert Fripp. There's a video (nudity!)for it here Album is out 9/13. I loved the first Grinderman album, as crazy as it was.

Grinderman - Super Heathen Child (with Robert Fripp) by MuteRecords

Markets Of Britain

Brought to you by Popper and Serafinowicz, the same two gents responsible for Look Around You.

They're receiving a lot of press lately, as Look Around You is finally available on DVD.

That Reminds Me

Quick, New Guys (Matt, Eric)! Top ten fifteen favourite Power Pop tunes of all time! We all had to do it. So get on it, or wear the boots!

Any of You Bastards Ever Listen to These Guys?

The Dandy Warhols had a few great albums early and gradually got worse. However, this is a great song and the video is even better because the chick is playing topless. Her name is Zia McCabe (aka Zia McBabe). She was hot then but weighs about 3 bills now. Anyway, did anyone else get into the Dandys? Is it bastard accepted, bastard approved?

I'm Rooting for Paraguay

Because if they win, Larissa Riquelme has vowed to run through the streets naked. Goooooooooo Paraguay!

Avatar

Made me want to Av a Crap. Without a doubt, the effects are groundbreaking, but the rest of the movie is just so bad (the acting is awful, the story hackneyed, and it's 3 fucking hours long) that I was turning blue myself. Honestly, it's worth seeing for the CGI, but only if you're going to see it in 3D (I imagine the IMAX version is even more impressive).

Meghan Mccain Rockin' the Cleavage

The would-be president's daughter is miffed at the controversy surrounding her breasty Twitter post.

For my money, it's the first time she's been remotely interesting.

Finally, A Sport For Jay To Watch

The Lingerie Football League will kick off it's season on Sept. 4. Teams are seven-women sides and play in short shorts, bikini tops, shoulder pads, and helmets (they look like lacrosse helmets). Billing itself as "True Fantasy Football," the league will have teams in Tampa and next year in Charlotte, but alas Memphis is still squeezed out of the big-time Football world.

According to one player, “These aren’t dainty girls, we’re there to play football,” said Danico, who hits the gym every day and bartends part-time at Hooters. “It’s a chance to still be sexy, but play a competitive sport.”

Official site here, but be warned that a very loud player pops up to introduce the league.

Shit

Marilyn Chambers is dead. Now Jay's going to feel weird when he does what he does while watching her movies.

99 Words For B**bs

See more funny videos at Funny or Die

Probably NSFW. Still funny.

The Best Live Act in the World

Evidently has now gotten better. I saw them live once and there were lots of people in furry costumes, but no naked ladies on stage. Feeling slightly ripped off here. Pitchfork has more photos from Sasquatch Fest.