Investment advice you can use

In light of recent concerns about the global stock market, it is worth checking out longorshortcapital.com, which offers useful and practical advice, albeit about "abstract trades, which may or may not be possible with real world financial derivatives." Here, they recommend short selling girl-on-girl action.

Short Girl-on-Girl
by Dr Deep Gupta

The market for hot (or cold) girl-on-girl action is cyclical; when generationally girls are prudish and treat girl-on-girl as verboten, the corresponding value of a girl-on-girl act is astronomical (certain theorists would argue it is incalcuable). Reacting to these high prices causes producers to bring on uneconomical girl-on-girl mines. These are mines where previously the cost of bringing the girl-on-girl out of the Earth guaranteed negative margins, but now can actually generate a stream of free cash flow. As supply increases, girl-on-girl prices begin to go down. Like most commodity markets, new supply which is brought on from marginal girl-on-girl mines eventually outstrips demand and the girl-on-girl cycle starts again.

Ramit Sethi offers this perspective:

[Things I Hate]. Girls who overestimate how hot it is to see them making out with another girl. I cannot count the number of times some girls want something and say something like “Are you surrrrre you don’t want to hang out? Who knows what will happen?” (wink, hugs her female friend). Ok. First of all, stop teasing because I have known you since 2nd grade and nothing is going to happen. Second, KISSING ANOTHER GIRL IS NOT AS HOT AS IT USED TO BE. Thank god the Internet has disintermediated your power. Actually, it’s kind of sad to see the vestiges of something that may have worked 4 years ago (you offering to maybe kiss another girl) still struggling to exert influence.

Recommendation: Short girl-on-girl action; Hold FFM Threesomes. Currently we are in a period of low girl-on-girl prices as trendiness has brought the price down from $Awesome! down to $Still Pretty Cool. We think there is still substantial downside and our current target is $Pleasing. There is an outside chance of a steep correction if there is a backlash of rampant conservatism in the youths of tomorrow, but visibility is pretty good right now, and we see that as an unlikely scenario.