Busman's Holiday

Recently departed is Hugh Massingberd, obituaries editor of the Daily Telegraph, who transformed Telegraph obits from dull recitations of jobs and hobbies into amusing, irreverent, prurient, and often plain rude accounts of interesting folks of all stripes. Witness:

Third Lord Moynihan
The Third Lord Moynihan, who has died in Manila, aged 55, provided through his character and career ample ammunition for critics of the hereditary principle. His chief occupations were bongo drummer, confidence trickster, brothel-keeper, drug-smuggler and police informer. . . .

Denisa Lady Newborough
Denisa Lady Newborough, who has died, aged 79, was many things. Wire walker, night club girl, nude dancer, air pilot. She only refused to be two things: a whore and a spy. “And there were attempts to make me both,” she once wrote. . . .

And a personal favorite:

Lt Col John Pine-Coffin

Pine-Coffin then joined the Parachute Regiment and was posted to the Middle East where he saw action during the Suez crisis. Following a move to Cyprus, he was involved in counter-insurgency operations in the Troodos mountains.

When he came across a number of heavily bearded men hiding in a monastery, Pine-Coffin suspected that they were Eoka terrorists in disguise and asked his sergeant to give their beards a sharp tug. These all stayed firmly in place and he had to make a swift tactical withdrawal. . . .

The New York Times recently provided the following “English-Massingberd Dictionary” to help its readers decipher these masterworks:

“Convivial”: Habitually drunk.
“Did not suffer fools gladly”: Monstrously foul-tempered.
“Gave colorful accounts of his exploits”: A liar.
“A man of simple tastes”: A complete vulgarian.
“A powerful negotiator”: A bully.
“Relished the cadences of the English language”: An incorrigible windbag.
“Relished physical contact”: A sadist.
“An uncompromisingly direct ladies’ man”: A flasher.

Massingberd’s own obituary can be found here.