Inconceivable!

The Princess Bride cast, reunited 25 years later.

Fuh-Riday!

Weren't we having "tasteful nude day" or "catchy Friday" or something?

And Then There's This

John K of Ren & Stimpy fame recently contributed a couch gag. Disturbing.

Shit

Love him or hate him, you gotta give him his props.

D'ough!

The voice actors for The Simpsons are going at it with 20th Century Fox Television. Story here. Apparently they make $8 million each per season. Worth every penny?
If I was in a room with Harry Shearer I'd make him do Mr. Burns until he punched me in the face.
Would any of you bastards watch the show with different voice actors?

Hitler Gets Angry About iPhone 4S

These angry Hitler clips have been around for awhile, but this one's worth a look. I should probably explain that Gil Amelio was Apple's CEO from February 2, 1996 to July 4, 1997. Jobs convinced the directors to oust him in a boardroom coup after Apple's stock plummeted.

FLTANNG!

And I quote:

Sixty-five episodes of three seven-minute segments were produced, for a total of 195 segments that ran initially in broadcast syndication from September 1, 1966 to December 1, 1966. The series, produced in color, had extremely limited animation produced by xerography, consisting of photocopied images taken directly from the comics and manipulated to minimize the need for animation production.

Iron Man appeared in the 1966 series The Marvel Super Heroes where he was one of the five featured superheroes and was voiced by John Vernon.

That means Iron Man was ... Dean Wormer! Anyway, enjoy this week's episode, "The Other Iron Man."

Rifftrax

Any of you tastemakers on this bandwagon? The Mystery Science Theater 3K guys have gone after bigger, more popular targets. Website here. You can sync up mp3's or buy the DVD for films like Star Wars, Titanic, Inception, Casablanca, etc...

It's Next Month Now, Me Wants Waits

October 16!

Anybody gonna watch season two? I'm in.

Save A Pretzel For The Gas Jets

Rick Perry, via Bad Lip Reading.

Oh Yeah!

Edit this setlist | More Wilco setlists

So the show was great. Nick Lowe is an absolute treasure. He played solo acoustic and then joined Wilco for a couple of numbers during the encore. Tweedy was grinning ear to ear while Nick was up there. Wilco were excellent and it was great being so close to Pat Sansone as he shredded. Tweedy looks about 35 pounds heavier than I last saw him....

Wow!

Nailed it.

Dave Started It

How had I never seen this SW mash-up before?

For the Nerds (Jay)

Here's a pretty cool site. This fella has created figurines of the Star Wars characters in a variety of genres (western, noir, medieval, etc.). Jay has probably already posted this.

Have A Smoking Weekend!

Tom Waits' Private Listening Party

New album, Bad As Me, out next month.

Noooooooooooooooo

R.E.M. has decided to "call it a day as a band." They've had a pretty good run, although they were pretty much phoning it in after "Automatic for the People" and to a lesser extent "Monster". Dare I say it's the end of the band as we know it and they feel fine?

For me these guys were the first glimpse into the world of music that wasn't pumped into your ears via 80's radio. They were, ahem, iconic alternative music trailblazers, and I will always regard "murmur" as possibly the best album of all time. And by the way, they will always be the version that included drummer Bill Berry, and the one that you could never understand what the hell Stipe was singing. That trio bullshit never worked.

Oh well, all good things must come to an end. Just enjoy this video of them in their prime...

Pure Being

Saw this:


which brought this back:

He's The One Who Likes All Our Pretty Songs

Bastards of a certain age might recall the Northwest outfit Nirvana, who celebrate the 20th anniversary of one of their more popular albums this week. Sirius XM runs Nevermind Radio on its Channel 34 starting Friday. Included: a Jon Stewart two-hour town hall with Dave Grohl, Krist Novoselic and Butch Vig.

Did the gameday thing at FSU yesterday to see my Seminoles lose a heartbreaker. That, a hangover, and being in the doghouse all at the same time. Yay!

If Friday Can't Be Catchy, At least it Can Be Sexy

I told her to stop sending these pictures, but they never listen, do they...?

Hmm, No Thanks

My New Favorite Quote

“Some people are born on third base and go through life thinking they hit a triple.” Barry Switzer

The Rising

We can't Forget The Past, but fortunately we have the Boss to help us get through. Anybody remember this album? It was Bruce's reaction to the 9/11 attacks, and his first with the E-Street band in years. I found myself going to it over and over when it first came out, but haven't listened to it in years before pulling it out again yesterday. As usual, Bruce manages to capture the stories and emotions of the aftermath of that horrible day without being overly sentimental or employing the tacky schmaltz of the million Nashville pricks and their flag-drenched tributes.

See also: Wilco's Yankee Hotel Foxtrot.

Har Har

Well ... ?

Who says you can't polish a turd? Same basic flavor, a few improvements. Still tweaking the top, don't panic ...

Catchy Friday

Born Alone

Video from new Wilco record, The Whole Love, out in 20 days. Ryan Adams also has a new one out any day now. Anything else exciting coming down the pike?

Whoa

Jonny Quest opening titles recreated by Roger Evans using stop motion animation. Amazing.

In 1964, Jonny Quest aired to rave reviews as the first, adult action/adventure cartoon in prime time. It had cool jazz music by Hoyt Curtin and terrific, high contrast pen and ink design work by Doug Wildey. As an animator and long time JQ junkie, I had always wanted a set of Jonny Quest action figures but, due to high production costs, the show only lasted one season; not long enough to spawn any kind of serious toys or other merchandising tie-ins. So, almost 50 years later, I made my own. Here is my Valentine to one of the coolest, if not THE coolest, cartoons ever to spin up the imagination of a 53 year old man now going on six. Enjoy!

Behind the scenes here.

Touching

Louis C.K. gets emotional talking about Carlin at a recent tribute.

TGIF!

Have a good long weekend, Bastards! Go Seminoles!

Lucas Is At It Again

Star Wars Blu Ray comes out September 16. Lucas has been tinkering ... again ... In the first clip, he's changed Obi Wan's Krayt Dragon call to sound like Kenobi dropped a barbell on his testicles or something. In the second, Vader says No - not once, but twice - before throwing the Emperor down the shaft. Lame.



How do you bastards feel about these two "improvements?"

Catchy Friday

Big Deal - Chair by Big Deal

Ghost On The Canvas

Glen Campbell has a new album out called "Ghost On The Canvas." It is evidently his last album as he is slowly slipping into the Alzheimer's fog. I've never been a huge fan, but you've got to respect the man's voice and a handful of good songs. Of importance to us is that fact that the title track to the new album was written by none other than Bastardo hero Paul Westerberg. He also does a Bob Pollard song, Hold On Hope, so his hipster cred is solid.

More Human Than Human

From 1982, here's a 13 minute documentary about the making of Blade Runner designed specifically for fantasy conventions.

Pretty cool.

Two Great Tastes Taste Great Together!

I LOVE Ryan Adams. I LOVE Iron Maiden. Surely never the twain shall meet? Wrong! Here's Mr. Adams (new album will be dropping in October) covering the metal titans (new live album, probably from Brazil or Tokyo undoubtedly dropping as we speak).

One Man Mutiny

I've been waiting like a kid at Xmas and it's finally here! The First Tommy Platter since Village Gorilla Head!

Cover This

Fuck yeah Mountain Goats. Finding a few nuggets amid the Onion's Undercover series. Liked Superchunk's Cure, Clem Snide's Journey, Motion City Soundtrack's Pavement, Owen Pallet's violin-y GBV, and Swell Season's NMH. (please excuse the horrible Starbuckification promos).

Amen

Sorry, I just couldn't look at the seasteading post anymore.

What Could Possibly Go Wrong?

Libertarians! always wanted to form your own country? Beckerland? The West Mikies? All you need is a platform and international waters!
Now venture capitalists are getting behind Seasteading and plan to start a sovereign something off the coast of San Francisco. No welfare, loose weapons restrictions and building codes... sign us up, right?

Merry Beckmus?

The latest celebrity couple is Beck + Malkmus, collaborating on the new Jicks album Mirror Traffic. Tour to include Nashville in Rocktober.

Regular Show

See You There (Season 2, Episode 17)

Regular Show is another winner on Cartoon Network. Hilarious.

Not another film about cricket . . .

I'm guessing this one won't have wide circulation over here.

Get a life!

That's A Big ... Gun

Black Dynamite pilot, as promised.  Watch it or don't, I don't care.

Again With The Laughing

Catchy Friday

Blade Runner Sequel

I'm starting to think the quality of a sequel (or prequel) is inversely proportional to the lapse of time since the original.  Star Wars, Godfather 3, Indiana Jones, etc.  Which means this will almost certainly suck a hole in the galaxy. 

But what if it's good.  What if it's really good?  (I can't control my hopes.)

This guy must get so bored

The New Math

+



=

Sissy & The Blisters - Let Her Go by charmfactory

If Joe's Not Gonna Do It ...

Long live the King!

This is How I Feel About Mondays

Play. Rewind. Repeat. Hours of fun at work...

Eww

Salesmanship

Coffee Table of the Gods - $8 (Minneapolis)

Date: 2011-07-21, 1:18AM CDT
Reply to: sale-ppre5-2505248081@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]

This coffee table is perfect for someone with a cocaine habit or shooting a porno movie.
As you can see from the photo, the majestic beauty of this coffee table rivals earthly treasures such as: the color of the sky at sunset, the laughter of a small child, and infidelity.

Qualities of the table:
-Carpeted
-Mirrored
-The muthertrucker spins
-Doesn't have any weird splotches under black lights

Due to the assumed large demand for this table, all inquirers will be subjected to a quiz to determine their level of badass-ity.

The price of the table is firm: $7.83, four cans of Chef Boyardee Beef Ravioli, and a framed photo of Betty White.

Location: Minneapolis
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

PostingID: 2505248081

Now that we're all considering selling off our shit, I figured we could draw some inspiration from this outstanding craigslist post.

TGIF, Motherscratchers

With the kids heading back to school and the wife finishing up her first grad school class in ten years, this week has been a good old-fashioned bitch. You can bet your ass I'll be tipping back a couple of these this evening. As your attorney, I recommend you do the same.

Prost!

She Walks The Night

Our good friend Matthew Sweet has a new album, Modern Art, coming out on September 27th and will evidently tour for the 20th (!) anniversary of Girlfriend, playing the album in its entirety as so many touring bands seem to be doing these days. I don't see a lot of dates on his site yet, but we'll keep an eye out. Listen to the delicious first single, She Walks The Night, and read more here.

That is all.

Posterity: How You Like Me Now?

                              TREECRAFT, Dandelion B.

Dandelion B. Treecraft died August 4, 2011
Born: April 30, 1949, Fresno, California,

Dam: Nina Isabel Guard, a shy, rural North Carolina girl, graduated from the University of North Carolina at age 18.
Sire: Vernon Willard Whipple, a dangerous-charming Fresno boy who managed to graduate from Fresno High School.

Christened "Daniel Bryan Whipple" at his birth, in Fresno, California, Dan endured 13 mind-numbing years of public schooling in California, Washington, and Florida before enlisting in the US Coast Guard during the Vietnam War. Thereafter, he worked as a carpenter, and a wood tank "cooper" in Fresno. After divorcing Leta, his wife of six years [formerly, his step-mother for 12 years], Dan moved to Spokane in June, 1980, and took up, promptly, with a former babysitter from his grade-school years. This was two weeks after Mt. Saint Helens' historic off-topping.
A short stint with the Spokane City garbage collection squad was followed by a similarly-short hitch, 'cold-canvassing' for one of Spokane's leading predatory roofing and siding contractors. That invaluable vocational experience was followed by six years employment at an industrial transformer manufacturing plant - which failed to lead to tenure, as the company moved its facility to North Carolina to take advantage of a lower-wage environment. In late 1980, Mr. Treecraft joined the Spokane Unitarian Church, whose very active singles group had a surplus of women 10 to 20 years his senior. This was truly a golden era for Dan. He eventually graduated from the Unitarian Church in 1997, with a degree of Critical Thinking. A doldrum period of employment coincided in the late --80s, and included a brief attempt to enter the medical industry as a nurse-aide. This proved, after all, not to be a good fit, as Dan felt compelled to take half of his charges home to provide more adequate personal nurturance, while the remainder, he felt, should be taken out over-night, and shot.
From 1991 until 2009, having found his calling, Dan employed himself as an arborist, changed his legal name, and attempted to make an honest living providing ethical tree care. Anyone who's attempted to make a living - ethically - can attest that it is no small feat. Mr. Treecraft's scorecard, here, looks fairly good - if graded on a --curve'. He was pleased, though, that many of his clients also became enduring friends.
In 1991, while pruning an ancient apple tree for a frugal-but-charming South Hill matron, Dan met his second-wife-to-be. Nearly eight years passed, before she managed to come to Dan's attention again. Jan and Dan were married on the Autumnal Equinox, 2001, a pot luck affair which drew a crowd of well under one thousand.
The next nine years passed in what appeared to be sublime, flawless bliss. Both Treecrafts were generally satisfied to let that appearance prevail. It was a period of considerable inner growth, especially for Jan. For Dan, it was a time of great inner testing. The result was, after all, a passably agreeable relationship for a near-decade. No small feat in this day.
In the Fall of 2008, Dan noticed a mild, chronic sore throat, and some difficulty swallowing. The symptoms persisted, eventually joined by others, until Dan finally agreed to see a doctor in February, 2010. Examination and biopsy revealed a tumor of some advanced development. A course of "no treatment" was decided upon and followed, until such time as the discomfort and dysfunction of his illness directed Dan to thoughtfully and humanely end his tenure. Jan stood by him throughout the eleven-month duration of his winding-down process, walking all the way - to the very edge - with him.
Some fuss has been made of Treecraft's social and political activism. This aspect of his life has been significantly exaggerated, though it's true he took pride in his pivotal role - forcing Alberto Gonzales to resign as head of the United States Justice Department's team of international war criminals. Dan was also exceedingly proud of being ousted from several dozen Spokane City Council meetings, by Council President Joe Shogan.
Besides his wife, Jan, Mr. Treecraft is survived by their dog, Skippy, Cuckoo, the cat, Jan's adult son, Max, Jan's daughter, Molly, and Molly's 4-year-old son, Ezra. Dan also leaves a half-brother, Bill Whipple, seven step-siblings [ too numerous and far-flung to name - Bobby, Jackie, Eddy, Sally, Nancy, Tommy and Susan ], and an unknown number of nieces and nephews. Dan had no children of his own [ if he did, not one of them ever called or wrote ].
Burial will be at Worley Township Cemetery 10:00 a.m., Saturday, August 6, 2011. A caravan of grave-digging friends and well-wishers are expected to provide funereal talent, shovels, sweat, cheer, graveside manners. Eulogizers of quick-witted brevity are welcome to speak. Long-winded droners may be stoned and used as backfill. Bring a picnic lunch to share, and something to sit on. Please consider carpooling. It is hoped this event might inspire and bring together a few good people from across the county.
Those wanting to make memorial gifts are asked to give generously to the Spokane Center For Justice.

(Caught this sublime bit of Northwest quirk in the local rag while home last week.)

So ...

Anybody got any good news? Shit.

The Bastards Salute You

See? It really happened.

Check Me Out

Josh Cooley.

Bastards Assemble! (Memphis Chapter)

With Matt in town for the weekend, it's looking like The Memphis Bastards will be stepping out for a cold beverage this evening. Not sure what we'll be doing (besides the customary Poobah effigy burning), but we'll hopefully have some photos to prove it.

(By the way, that's Matt's hand on top of the pile.)

I Miss Mr. Show

Hail Satan!

Another Bastard-y Birthday!

Our own Bastard Joe turns 78 today! Or something close to that. Happy Birthday Bastard!

I'm Lovin' It

I remember when that only cost 35 cents ...

Live Every Week Like It's Shark Week!

Happy Shark Week, Bastards! Join me in saluting legendary pop culture sharks and shark-ish creatures. Learn more about laser sharks here or from our own four-star sharkmaster, Bastard Matt.







                                       Sharktopus

I NEVER thought I'd say this but.....

I'm tired of looking at fetuses. Stay cool Bastards!

Flaming Lips Album Released Inside a Fetus

I like these guy, but they always seem to out-weird themselves. Their latest album has been released on a USB stick embedded in a gummy fetus. It's also available online, but who wouldn't want a gummy fetus.

Holding Steady, Staying Positive

Craig Finn from the Hold Steady has a fantastic Tumblr. He's been chronicling his time in Austin the past few days, which included this juicy tidbit:

The Hold Steady start writing for record #6 in September. Meanwhile, I’m down in Austin making a record with Mike McCarthy. This one is a solo project.

Needless to say, I'm excited. Really, really excited.

The Flaming C In Lego

Watch as Brick Artist Nathan Sawaya creates a stunning statue of [Conan's alter-ego] The Flaming C right in front of your very eyes!

Friii---day!

Been a long hot summer week. Could use a good weekend about now.

Pistols In Memphis

Of course, we all know the Pistols played in Memphis. Now, you can relive the experience through the magic of File Transfer Protocol! Yours until some bastard deletes it!

Free Burrito Grande for anybody who can decipher the banter.

Black Dynamite, Motherf_cker!

New cartoon on Adult Swim premiering next spring, but we can watch the pilot on adultswim.com on August 8.

Vote Metal

The Awl (whatever that is) has a list of members of congress with totally metal names. Topping the list: Rep. Louise Slaughter (D-NY). I guess John Boehner would've made the list if it was totally porn star names.

A Simple Yet Shocking Fact

God I love these old mental health films. Internet Archive has the whole enchilada here.

October 17

Hope it doesn't suck.

Another Bastard-y Birthday!

I thought we'd celebrate Dr. Matt's birthday by showing the work he did for me earlier this summer! And it was free!

Hissssss

Fernando Sez

Ha ha.

Tone Matrix

Make your own summer theme music HERE by clicking on the squares.

This Looks Good

Let's see: Spielberg, Jamie Bell, Andy Serkis and Daniel Craig, effects by Weta. (This may come as a complete surprise, but I read The Adventures of Tintin in elementary school ...)

Oniony Goodness

FIRED I.T. GUY STICKS PORN INTO CEO'S POWERPOINT PRESENTATION

DRUNK PUPPY BUYING BANNED BY WEST VILLAGE PET STORES

MAN ALLEGEDLY WOUNDED BY TWO 'BOOTY CALL NINJAS'

These are all from Onion-like: a site displaying stories that sound like they were made up by The Onion, but are in fact real.

Defective

Defective Detective by Avner Geller and Stevie Lewis.

Details here.

Children's Art Critic

Holy shit, I almost had a seizure when I saw this one. Three words: too many colors. Also, eggs aren't supposed to have ears, dipshit. F



This one wouldn't be too bad if the color were kept inside the lines, you picked a new perspective, used non-abrasive colors and asked someone with talent to paint it for you. On one hand I want to give an A for effort but... F



This one would receive an "A" if the assignment was to throw as much random shit onto a paper as poorly as you can. I've pissed patterns on snow that look more coherent than this. F

Enjoy more children's art with unfiltered appraisal here.

Ha Ha

“There comes a time when you look into the mirror and you realize that what you see is all that you will ever be. And then you accept it. Or you kill yourself. Or you stop looking in mirrors.”

- Tennessee Williams

Big Time Bastardo!

One of us! Gooboo gaboo, gooboo gaboo!

The Inevitable Summer Slowdown

Yay.

So Beautiful Or So What

No need to beg me For This Paul Simon album.

I Want To See This

Steve Coogan and Rob Brydon in The Trip. I learned about it from NPR.

In Coogan's latest film, The Trip, he reunites with Brydon — but this time, the two men play fictionalized versions of themselves going on a restaurant tour of Northern England. Adapted from a BBC Two sitcom, the movie features the two men riffing off each other on a variety of subjects and interacting with various actors playing their relatives and friends.