In The Not Too Distant Future

This was a graduation project for Bezalel Academy of Arts and Design.

The Kids Are Alright

Place enjoy the above recital. The 8 -10 year olds perform a nice cover of the heavy metal group Metallica's "Enter Sandman". The best part is seeing this little girl in a white dress totally nail the solo.

On a more negative note, I want to go cry after seeing these kids put my guitar playing skills to shame. I thought I was kicking ass with bar chords... apparently not.

Okay, This Is Cool

YouTube Doubler

Aimee Mann's new video Labrador, side by side with the old Til Tuesday video. Anybody going to put their free five bucks towards this one? I know it looks like shit, Jay. Better here.

Damn Kids!

A woman in New Jersey is suing a little league player after his errant throw hit her in the face. Elizabeth Lloyd is seeking more than $150,000 in damages from 11-year-old catcher Matthew Migliaccio. Lloyd was sitting at a picnic table near the baseball diamond when she was hit by a baseball two years ago. The ball was thrown by Migliaccio who was warming up a pitcher before the game. Migliaccio, now 13, said that he ran over to Lloyd at the time of the accident to see if she was OK. When she said that she was fine he returned to his warm-up. Migliaccio said: “I ran over to see if she was all right. She said she was OK. I was just on with warming the pitcher up, and I was not horsing around.” The lawsuit claims, however, that Micliaccio’s throw was “intentional and reckless” and caused “severe, painful and permanent” injuries. The little league lawsuit goes on to say that Lloyd is still experiencing pain from Migliaccio’s “negligent” and “careless” act and is asking the baseball player to pay for her pain, anguish, and medical bills. Lloyd is demanding a jury trial.

Beloved Children's Books, Part Deux

Jay Has Already Asked For My Collection So Don't Ask...

There's something ironic about a special dildo being kept at Bank of America. Actually, that's not ironic at all.

Children's Art Critic

Holy shit, I almost had a seizure when I saw this one. Three words: too many colors. Also, eggs aren't supposed to have ears, dipshit. F



This one wouldn't be too bad if the color were kept inside the lines, you picked a new perspective, used non-abrasive colors and asked someone with talent to paint it for you. On one hand I want to give an A for effort but... F



This one would receive an "A" if the assignment was to throw as much random shit onto a paper as poorly as you can. I've pissed patterns on snow that look more coherent than this. F

Enjoy more children's art with unfiltered appraisal here.

Starring Danny McBride, James Franco & Natalie Portman's Ass

That seems to be the marketing strategy, anyway. Your Highness, now playing.

Stare Dad Comics

Ok, these are completely fucked up, but they make you laugh in a demented sort of way. Basically, this cartoon started it all, and now people use the graphics and add their own captions. The poor little boy comes to his dad with a problem. Dad can't be bothered and he stares him down. Hilarity ensues. The result is an example of demented parenting... or hours of fun.

If you like what you see here, and I think you do, you can find TONS more here. The greatest hits can be found here.

Kids Say the Darndest Things!

And somewhere, Art Linkletter rolls in his grave. Wait, he's dead right? Watch this adorable young teen say the 'c' word on national television. Twice.

What The Kids Are Watching These Days

Anybody seen this show called The Misadventures of Flapjack? It's funny, but reeeally trippy. Watch the entire episode and you'll see what I mean.

"Legs!"

Brian Doyle-Murray has become quite the voice actor.

Yuck

I'm okay with this message right up until they show the drooling baby. I understand that kids can be born with it, but that's still disgusting.

Catchy Friday: Middle Aged Man Edition

A little Weezer to remind us of the good old days:

When I look in the mirror, I can't believe what I see
Tell me, who's that funky dude, staring back at me?
Broken, beaten down can't even get around
Without an old-man cane, I fall and hit the ground
Shivering in the cold, I'm bitter and alone

Excuse the bitchin, I shouldn't complain
I should have no feeling, 'cause feeling is pain
As everything I need, is denied me
And everything i want, is taken away from me
But who do I got to blame? Nobody but me

…And I don't wanna be an old man anymore
It's been a year or two since I was out on the floor
Shakin' booty, makin' sweet love all the night
It's time I got back to the Good Life
It's time i got back, it's time i got back
And I don't even know how I got off the track
I wanna go back…Yeah!

Screw this crap, I've had it! I ain't no Mr. Cool
I'm a pig, I'm a dog, so 'scuse me if I drool
I ain't gonna hurt nobody, ain't gonna 'cause a scene
I just need to admit that I want sugar in my tea
Hear me? Hear me? I want sugar in my tea!

…And I don't wanna be an old man anymore
It's been a year or two since I was out on the floor
Shakin' booty, makin' sweet love all the night
It's time I got back to the Good Life
It's time i got back, it's time i got back
And I don't even know how I got off the track
I wanna go back…Yeah!

It's ... MORE Watchmen!

Watchmen Exclusive: Girls Kick Ass

Jay's Been Busy

It only took 46,000 bricks to make this nearly 100' tower in Vienna. By my calculations, that's about a third of Jay's collection.

Great Depression Redux

Any of you bastards worried about your jobs? Man, this is turning into something that definitely isn't a laughing matter!

Pow!

A fully automatic machine gun from Nerf. Only $40!

From Gizmodo:

N-STRIKE VULCAN EBF-25
(Ages 6 years & up/Approximate Retail Price: $39.99/Available: Fall 2008)
The top-of-the-line blaster for mission supremacy, the NERF N-STRIKE VULCAN EBF-25 blaster is a 25-dart belt-fed fully automatic blaster that will intimidate any opponent. This impressive blaster comes complete with a fold-up tripod to steady your aim, 25 sonic micro darts that whistle through the air when launched and a 25-dart belt. The NERF N-STRIKE VULCAN EBF-25 blaster features the Tactical Rail System allowing players to customize their blaster for each mission - for example, players can use the green 'night vision' Tactical Light accessory (sold separately) for nighttime missions. Six "D" batteries are required but not included.

I can see one of these in my future.