Good news from The Onion!
Read the rest here.According to executives, Warner Bros. settled on Bay after a 12-month search of Hollywood's most reviled directors, including Joel Schumacher, Roland Emmerich, and Brett Ratner. In the end, the studio decided only Bay could be relied upon to deliver a 220-minute cinematic clusterfuck with enough tedious performances, overblown cinematography, and CGI explosions to make even the most casual fan want to scratch their eyes out.
"No filmmaker working today has Bay's ability to somehow direct his actors to be both emotionless and melodramatic at once," Warner Bros. CEO Barry Meyer said. "And I personally can't wait to see how he needlessly overcomplicates the plot."
4 comments:
Oh, that one's right on the mark. Another great photo caption, Lance Armstrong (after the bike wreck that broke his collarbone): "You don't just automatically remember how to ride a bicycle."
So true.
People should lay off Bay. I hate the thought of him sobbing into his giant stacks of money.
Ha!
Post a Comment