Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Journey To The Edge Of The State


Our summer vacation was a smashing success. We broke the trip up on the way out with a one day stop in Nashville to pick up some more family. By Thursday afternoon, we were in the mountains, dividing our time among Dollywood, Splash Country, Ripley's I Can't Believe It's Not Butter Aquarium, and our lovely cabin. (Those are my children in the photo, cooling off in a mister fan at D-wood.)

Dollywood was a very pleasant surprise; the employees were - without exception - extremely polite and the grounds were immaculate. My son rode his first (and probably last) roller coaster, and my daughter was pissed that she was too short to ride ...

Splash Country, technically part of Dollywood, was a bit of a disappointment, just because it was fucking packed. It also reinforced my belief that I would never, ever want to see 99.99% of the human population naked. (And it didn't help that my brother-in-law Matt reminded me that we were basically bathing with all those slobs.)

Ripley's Bullshit Or Not Aquarium was pretty cool, but my kids got bored half-way through. Things did pick up again, however, when they realized they could pet the horseshoe crabs. Gatlinburg was nice, but Pigeon Forge made me think of Panama City, and not in a good way.

Anyway, we're back. The Johnny Cash rest stop was a welcome sight on the way home, and I must say, the Man In Black keeps his restrooms as clean as an operating room.

7 comments:

Mike said...

If I'd seen your itinerary before you left, I'd have titled it "Hell, 7th level." But it's great you were able to enjoy it. My hat's off to you for enduring Pigeon Forge. I'm sure the kids will always treasure the memory, as I do the 6 Flags and Disney trips of my youth.

We were despondent without you and nearly disbanded the blog. You were removed as Grand Poobah, by the way, in an Andrew-orchestrated coup.

Joe said...

I see Ian is wearing a Beatles t-shirt. Glad you had fun. I have to admit I was a little skeptical hearing where you were going. You know, Jay, if you keep going on that highway, you can actually get out of the state of Tennessee. There are lots of other states. Even other countries!

Glad you had fun. Andy's a good poobah, but it's a shame the way he makes us scrub the floors.

Andrew said...

I thought I told you two to be quiet!

Jay said...

Just so long as Andy understands that I make Grand Poobah-ing look easy. (Joe, you missed a spot.)

Ian is a dyed-in-the-wool Beatles fan. In fact, he won a dollar at the grocery store the other day for correctly guessing that our piped-in shopping music was a Beatles tune. ("If I Needed Someone," not that you care.)

Mike said...

Andy's not a bad Poobah, except he insists on being called Dear Leader. Also, I don't remember the blog having nuclear aspirations during the Jay regime.

Dave said...

Ian deserves at least two dollars for correctly identifying the song as it is a lesser-known Harrison tune. Pay up, ex-Poobah. Joe, Mike, be quiet.

Jay said...

Good point, Dave.

Mike, LBU has had WMDs for at least a year, you SOB.