Dan Meth's Trilogy Meter

I agree with almost all of these. Anyway, thought it was an interesting way to visualize suck.

By the way, Dan Meth is this guy.

Friends

Now that Dave has the blog perked back up, I'll contribute this inspiring gem, that we may all remember what it is to be friends. Group hug!

I was late to this party......

I didn't get into Guided By Voices until a couple of years ago. I was so out of it, I didn't even know the band was the source for Jay's old blog's name. This is a great slice of Big Star style pop rock that the rest of you were probably sick of several years ago.

I'm pissed....

....that you Bastards have let me live all these years without filling me in on the amazing Brit punk band 999. Contemporaries of the Stranglers, the Pistols, the Clash, etc., these guys were fantastic. I'm angry with Jay as he is our local anglophile and I'm angry with Andrew because he is an actual Anglo.



Carry on- but don't you ever let me catch you not informing me about a great band ever again.

Blog Lift!

Things seem a little slow and down around here lately. What with Andy and Mike's work travel, my busy schedule, Joe's unemployment and Jay's general lethargy, things around the ol' Bastardos universe seem a little grim. To alleviate all of that, I am recycling this oldie but goodie that never ceases to make me laugh. EXTREMELY NSFW LANGUAGE!!



Now buck up, friends, and tally ho!

Lipton covers Bale

Since we haven't quite beat this one completely to death yet, here's the great James Lipton from Conan.

I spent the week in Jacksonville, FL. As some bastard once expressed it, "work travel sucks." But hell, it's a 3-day weekend in the financial world.

OMG!

Let's see how long the sobriety thing lasts now...

Mandy Moore is engaged to rocker Ryan Adams, her rep confirms to Usmagazine.com. Moore was spotted wearing a ring while grocery shopping with Adams in L.A. today.

See stars' hot engagement rings!

I guess that explains this.

Been There

I really should not laugh this hard with bronchitis.

Catchy Monday

I think this has been around for a while, but I must say it is very hummable.

Move over Obama!

This handy website allows one to upload any photo and create a poster much like the above A2 version. Highly addictive, but you have to register before you can download a printable version.

Before he was a Batasshole..

Self-important prick, but I love this scene from Empire of the Sun. Child actors should get 2 in the back of the head on their 13th birthday. In a universe comprised almost completely of empty space, what a shame to find there's about 6 feet too little of it.

Shit...

Lux Interior, founding member of the Cramps is dead.

Some 30 years ago, with the King still warm in his casket, Lux rose like a zombie from the primordial swamp as a twisted, grotesquely libidinous, werewolf Elvis from Hell, and the mask – if it was a mask – never came off. The Cramps went one step further than punk rock: they didn't merely go back to basics, they stripped rock'n'roll naked and flaunted it in its lethal distilled form: as a relentless sex east, a psychotic release, a nihilist post-apocalyptic celebration, the ultimate in trash culture.

Sigh...

Surfin' Dead

TV Set

Can Your Pussy Do The Dog?

Christian Bale Is An Abusive Asshole

Listen from the Terminator 4 set as Bale rips into the director of photography.

Pink Slip

I got mine.

Morrissey heard it was Jay's birthday

So he posed in his birthday suit. An actual promo for the upcoming album or maybe one of those "I'd rather go naked than wear fur" PETA ads. Hoping this is not the stage costuming for the upcoming tour.

Austin Road Sign

Mmmm, Beer . . .

My big project for this year is learning how to brew my own beer. I finished reading the excellent how-to manual pictured above, and I am off to the supply store this weekend, with a view to getting started the weekend after that. I'll keep you guys posted on my progress, but the reason for this premature post is that it occurred to me one or more of you might be interested in undertaking the same project, in which case we can get going at the same time and compare notes.

Enjoying Some Presents

Speaking of Lightning . . .

This is a song I hear the other day by a chap called Jeffrey Lightning Lewis. Quite captivating, I thought.

Lightening in a Bottle

There are plenty of obvious "lightening in a bottle" type albums out there, like London Calling, Andy's Warehouse, Born to Quit, Pet Sounds and Burn Your Cardigan, but what are some less obvious choices that would make your list? Show me yours and I'll show you mine.

On Turning 40

Rock Stardom: You Either Have It Or You Don't

The Graveyard Book

Congratulations to Neil Gaiman, who was awarded the Newberry medal for 2009. Not bad for an old comic book writer.

The Graveyard Book is "a delicious mix of murder, fantasy, humor and human longing" according to the Newberry people, all the things I look for in children's books.

The Ugly Suit

It's amazing what you'll find when you Google "Ugly Suit."

The band/CD that is so named is OK. It's been spinning in my truck since xmas and starting to grow on me. I was put off at first by how Wilco it sounded, to not be Wilco, but I've come around to it anyhow. There are some odd things about it, but I think it's worth a listen.

This ain't no stinkin book blog, but I'll mention 2 novels that I've read lately anyway: The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time, which our Dave has mentioned, and Ironweed by William Kennedy, which is just a terrific little novel. Both are worth reading, should you find time for such a thing.

I Remember This!

Yep, New Sheriff In Town

From Bloomberg:

The president said that when top White House aides leave government, they are barred from lobbying “for as long as I am president, and there will be a ban on gifts by lobbyists to anyone serving in the administration.”

A lobbyist who joins the Obama administration also is forbidden from working on issues they previously were involved with, he said. Any person who leaves the administration will be barred from lobbying the government for two years.

“We are here as public servants, and public service is a privilege,” Obama said, addressing his White House staff and Cabinet on his first full day in office. “It’s not about advancing yourself or your corporate clients.”

“We need to close the revolving door that lets lobbyists come into government freely and lets them use their time in public service” to promote their own interests when they leave, the president said. Government hiring, he said, will henceforth be based on qualifications, competence and experience, “not political connections.”

So, oil lobbyists can't run the EPA anymore?! Jesus, what's next, fiscal responsibility?

Work Travel Bad

The term "unbelievably bad" can no longer be used to describe air travel, because no matter how bad it is, it's all too believable. I mean, we got planes landing in fucking Hudson Rivers, for chrissakes. So my trip to Vermont was simply bad. Canceled flight bad, 10-hour layover bad, checking in to an Indian-run motel at 2 a.m. and having to stand outside in 10 degree weather at the after-hours check-in window bad. And 10 degrees is plenty damn cold for a Tennessee wuss. Kept fucking thinking about fucking Joe's last fucking work fucking travel fucking post.

I did get to spend a few not-horrid hours in historic Philadeathia and learned some interesting facts about the Liberty Bell (it didn't have crack in it, but "A" crack, a literal crack in it, go figure).

Just got home sweet home and the old place feels like Christmas in heaven.

Whole E She It

Vintage Big Star footage!

Happy Trails, Decider

And thanks again.

Watchmen Widget

Nazi Zombies? I'm In

From the Sundance Film Festival site:

For eight medical students, Easter vacation begins innocently enough. They pack their cars full of ski equipment and enough beer to fuel their escape from everyday life to the snowy, isolated hills outside of Øksfjord, Norway. Once there, they receive a late-night visit from a shady hiker, who tells them a story about Nazi occupation of the area during World War II. After doing their fair share of raping and pillaging, the dreaded battalion faced a brutal and vengeful uprising by the citizens of the town. The soldiers who managed to survive the onslaught, including their dreaded leader Colonel Herzog, were driven into the hills by the angry mob, where they supposedly froze to death, never to be seen again. But if the horror genre has taught us anything, it’s that the raucous behavior and promiscuity of the younger generation always have a way of bringing evil spirits back to life.Director Tommy Wirkola pulls no punches in the carnage department—heads roll, blood flows, and entrails ooze as the young vacationers attempt to make it through the night. Wirkola adeptly utilizes the snow’s eerie and ominous backdrop to its fullest extent while orchestrating this wickedly gory, yet somehow delightful, tale of Nazi zombie terror.

The downside? The film is from Norway.

Watch the trailer for Dead Snow here and decipher what you can ...

A little history for your MLK Day

Most are familiar with Norman Rockwell's iconic portrait from the Civil Rights movement. But did you know the little girl depicted is Ruby Bridges, the six year old who integrated New Orleans public schools? Read a great article about her here. The Disney made-for-TV movie is very good as these things go; I use it in my class every year.

Game On!

Fox and WB reach a settlement. Watchmen is a go!

Here's the official statement from both studios:

Warner Bros. and Twentieth Century Fox have resolved their dispute regarding the rights to the upcoming motion picture Watchmen in a confidential settlement. Warner Bros acknowledges that Fox acted in good faith in bringing its claims, which were asserted prior to the start of principal photography. Fox acknowledges that Warner Bros. acted in good faith in defending against those claims Warner Bros. and Fox, like all Watchmen fans, look forward with great anticipation to this film's March 6 release in theatres.

You got your Wilco in my Radiohead. No, You got your Radiohead in MY Wilco!

Hey, Dave

Looks like the surgery went well. Glad that's over.

Did Someone Say Rock?

I'm embarrassed to admit that I somehow completely missed The Dickies. (My punk leanings are primarily of the New York and British flavors, not California.) But I recently watched a documentary about a tribute concert for Johnny Ramone in which The Dickies factored heavily, and I was prompted to go on a quest. Stukas Over Disneyland (1983) is the band's third release, lighter on the cartoon punk of their previous efforts, heavier on the power pop. Great fun, and worth a listen for the "Communication Breakdown" cover.

FTPROWYCO!

Anybody Listening to Anything that Rocks?

After a ponderous spell with Okkervil River and the Silver Jews, then lots of roasting chestnuts and one horse open sleighs, I've been trying (unsuccessfully) to get into the latest Of Montreal cd. I'm suddenly dying for something that really rocks, and not finding it in anything recent. Any suggestions?

Guess Who Turned 51 on Christmas Day?

It occurs to me that it has been entirely too long since anyone posted a mug of the dashing Mr. McGowan. (Remember kids, always brush those teeth, or else..)

But Jesus, what a voice!

Flight Of The Conchords, Season Two

Entire first episode. Inspired.

Skeletal Lamping

I'm so prepared to be disappointed with Of Montreal's first album since the exceptional Hissing Fauna CD. Too early to say, but it hasn't started blowing me away yet. But what elaborate packaging! I took the above picture of the album art. See whatcha think, if you have time, amid all your work travel and dental work. I'm flying into Philly to drive through Maryland into Delaware later this month for work and have a dentist appointment on the calendar, ah, mortality..

Holy Similarities, Batman!

Sam Phillips, 2008


Cory Branan, 2002

Shit

Looks like me and my wisdom teeth are about to part ways. I am totally opposed to the removal of wisdom teeth if they are not causing problems. Seems like most new-fangled dentists are all about yanking them out rather indiscriminately. Mine grew in straight and none are impacted or causing any jaw problems. However. I do have a very deep cavity in one- deep enough that it needs to come out. In the interests of balance and so that my top wisdom teeth won't shred my gums when there is no match below, they are all going. Guess how I'll be spending MLK/Inauguration weekend?

Stuck In My Head Since Last Night

Franco

I heard this article on NPR before Christmas, which began with the following statement:

I love 21st-century music. Lil Wayne, Drive-By Truckers and TV on the Radio are all in my Top 10 albums of 2008. But I'm convinced that the very best music newly released in America in 2008 was recorded in Kinshasa, Congo (formerly known as Zaire), three and four decades ago by a man named Franco, the late king of Congolese rumba.

So of course I had to order it, and I can't say I disagree. See what you think.

As long as we're taking pokes at Apple..

Everything Is Just A Few Hundred Clicks Away

I love my iPod, but this dig at Apple's never-ending drive for intuitive simplicity and the cult of "I'll buy anything Apple" is spot-on.

fucking

I'm fucking traveling fucking for fucking work fucking again. fucking I fucking don't fucking really fucking like fucking doing fucking it. fucking Picked fucking up fucking Gary fucking Louris' fucking "Vagabonds" fucking in fucking Asheville fucking and fucking haven'fucking t fucking really fucking listened fucking to fucking it fucking much. fucking File fucking Transfer fucking Protocol.

Hey, my college football season kicked ass in the end. Hopefully the stinking Gators won't win. It would be peachy, but FSU and Texas played greatly in their bowls!

The Faint Has All Your Groovin' Needs Covered for Tonight

This is one of those songs that can just hum in the background of your life for a week, while you watch the mouths of those around you move and quietly nod agreement. It hooked me enough to get the CD (Fasciinatiion by The Faint). It's got a pretty steady sound. Not a bad distraction from the after-Christmas blahs.

It's got Forward Turbine Power, should you be needing some.

To get you fired up for the new year

Here's a mash up of inspirational movie speeches that create one inspirational message. Freeeeeedom!

What Are the 4 Best Books You Read in 2008?

I choose 4, since 4 books that I read last year really stand out, and also because that's how many books Jay read last year. Mine:

Atonement - Ian McEwen

Never Let Me Go - Kazuo Ishiguro

The Crossing - Cormac McCarthy

Watchmen - Alan Moore & Dave Gibbons

If nobody else is going to do it...

My favorite albums of '08, in no particular order:

Someone Still Loves You Boris Yestsin - Pershing
TV on the Radio - Dear Science
The Whigs - Mission Control
DBT - Brighter than Creation's Dark
Alejandro Escovedo - Real Animal.
Okervill River - The Stand-ins
Hold Steady - Stay Positive
Gaslight Anthem - The '59 Sound

Honorable Mentions - Clash Live at Shea, Bowie Live '72, Latest addition to Dylan Bootleg Series

I'm sure I'm forgetting something, but those are the ones that I remember playing over and over throughout the year.

Adios 2008!

Crazy year, huh? Our Bastard, Inc. 401k and stock portfolios fell apart, but a new mini-bastard entered the picture, so I'd call us ahead on the balance. Play it safe tonight (leave the lethal intoxication to the amateurs) and here's a virtual toast to a great 2009.

Shocked, But Not Surprised

You know, it's just amazing what you can find on the internets these days.

My Phone Shoots Video?

Really, really shitty video, but still ... I had no idea.

My kids got scooters for Christmas. (No, he doesn't wipe out.)

File under: Makes sense to me

From a law suit filed against Wal-Mart, alleging negligence, gross negligence, false imprisonment and assault, by two women who claim that they were punched in the face by an unknown female assailant, during the Black Friday "Blitz" sale:

Upon information and belief, integral to the design of the sale was emplacing in the shoppers a feeling of anxiety. Each member of the crowd would experience fear of being smashed, while vertical, or trampled, while horizontal: that fall to the ground would be a prelude to burial thereunder. Afterwards, once inside the store each shopper would have a feeling of emotional freedom and release that would cause him or her to do more purchasing.

I often feel emotional freedom at Wal-Mart, no choking or trampling needed.

Peter Sellers

My father-in-law reminded me of this last night, the end credits for Being There. Hilarious, but if you haven't seen the movie, it won't make much sense.

Stranded In Canton On YouTube?!

Finally available, and for free.

From a review in Variety:

Surfacing after 30 years, celebrated photog William Eggleston's pioneering experiments with black-and-white video teem with drunken denizens of Southern nightlife. Fitting an early-model Sony Porta-Pak with a prime lens and an infra-red tube, Eggleston approached his lurching subjects with the same close-up intensity that informs his famous still photographs. Certain sequences of lost weekends seem to surge out from a murky oblivion, although co-director Robert Gordon's 77-minute curatorial re-edit softens the edges somewhat.

More of a curiosity than anything else for me, but I've wanted to check this out for years.

What the kids are not listening to

My wife has been playing this Neko Case song a lot the past few days, and it is now firmly stuck in my head. Singing backup in this video is one of my longtime favorite unfairly-obscure Chicago singers: Kelly Hogan, who I believe is now semi-retired, and tending bar at the Hideout in Chicago. I will attempt to further the popularity of one of her CDs.

What the Kids are Listening To

I think Fall Out Boy is making a conscious effort not to get pigeon-holed as emo rockers with their new CD, Folie a Deux. Pretty good stuff.

DOA

"To call the characters cardboard is to insult a useful packing material." -Roger Ebert

Compiling a Metacritic score of 28, The Spirit may be this Christmas' film equivalent of congealed salad. I think it's a mortal sin to cast Eva Mendes and Scarlett Johansson and fail to make a watchable movie. Looks like Jay was right about this one. Guess I'll have to wait 70 more days for another good comic book movie.

A tad windy

It can get a bit windy in Galway during rugby season.

Les Kooks

On a whim, I Found The Pounds to buy the delightful "Konk" by the Kooks this weekend. With all their British pop goodness. It's hard not to compare them to the Arctic Monkeys (catchy choruses, constant hooks and the singer's accent). Lurker, I would be willing to bet 5% of Jay's paycheck that you're going to really like them.

Photos

The Boston Globe website has its pictures of the year here, here, and here. Well worth checking out.

Everything's Gonna Be Cool This Christmas

Feliz Navidad, Bastardos. My sometimes annual Xmas mix is on its way up Faster Than Prancer can Comet on Vixen. I'll put up a couple of supplementary mixes as well. Hope yours is a good one.

I Want A Pair

From CNN.com:

Sales of the shoes made famous by Iraqi journalist Muntadhar al-Zaidi have soared, with requests pouring in to the Turkish shoemaker from across the world, media reports said Monday.

As a result, Istanbul-based Ramazan Baydan has had to recruit an extra 100 staff to meet orders for 300,000 pairs of the "Model 271 brogues," Britain's Daily Mail said.

Read the rest here.

Happy hols chaps

Safe travels and noggy goodness to all.

Baring Down for the Holidays

My son came armed with the Barenaked Ladies holiday album. It's a few years old and definitely has some filler, but it's a nice diversion after hours of watching that Bing Crosby/David Bowie duet.

It's The Thought That Counts

I was going to get this book for you bastards, but buying and sending four copies got too pricey. Looks good though, doesn't it?

Bastard, Can You Spare A Dime?

My place of employment has permanently cut salaries 5%. (And suspended 401(k) matching and annual merit increases.) Yay. But at least I have a job ...

Gervais on Sharks and Nazis

I'm back from a long 4 days in Louisville, Kenfucky. No more work for me until all the presents are opened! The one highlight of the trip was watching Ricky Gervais' comedy special. Not surprisingly, he's fantastic at stand-up.

I turn my back for one minute and Jay's off working on a solo project. I guess LBU gets your sloppy seconds from here on in.

Morrissey coming to Durham; Dave shrieks like a vegan asexual girl; then remembers he'll be out of town that week.

March 11 (Wednesday) at the brand-spanking-new Durham Performing Arts Center right in downtown. Who wants a ticket? They go on sale tomorrow at 10 a.m. and I'm hitting it then. Send me an email (Joe and Andy) if you want to go.

UPDATE: Idiot Dave will be performing with Anyface that night in New Orleans. Hope to catch another date. Dammit.

Another LBU Spinoff

52 LPs that I can't or couldn't stop listening to. That's one every week Joe, with a brief background of the band and album, along with the cover and a featured song.

Rock 'N' Roll Snob

"Rod Blagojevich is clearly the stupidest governor in all of our 50 states"

Very interesting, and amusing article here about Blagojevich, Obama, and Jesse Jackson Jr.

I've long since come to the conclusion that Rod Blagojevich is clearly the stupidest governor in all of our 50 states, and he may be the stupidest governor I've had occasion to write about in the four decades when I've been co-author of The Almanac of American Politics. And a stupid man (or woman) in high political office can be very dangerous to all concerned. I have long said that as a political operative I would prefer a smart opponent to a stupid opponent. If you're pretty smart yourself, you should be able to figure out what another pretty smart person will do. But whether you're smart or stupid, it's hard to figure out what a stupid person will do. That's even more true when the stupid politician is your political ally. Stupid people do all sorts of things that are against their own interests. Like tell the press on Monday that you wouldn't mind being taped, even when (as we learned on Tuesday) that you've been saying all kinds of things that you should have known could easily send you to the slammer.

Look Around You

I caught an episode of this comedy on BBC America a few years ago and then never saw it again. Look Around You is a pitch-perfect homage to the educational programs of the seventies and early eighties that I'm sure we all remember. Andy, I defer to you to explain who Robert Popper and Peter Serafinowicz are ...

We've all had days like this

First the Godfather. Now this. A sadly under-used prop, I feel.

Catchy Friday

Spectacle

I've discovered an interesting series on Sundance called Spectacle. It features Elvis Costello interviewing notable musicians/celebrities. This week was Lou Reed, which was fascinating, but produced one of the least noteworthy duets in the history of bad ideas: Perfect Day, with Elvis crooning beautifully and Lou sounding like someone experimenting with methods for ruining a duet. Thankfully, there's no public version available, but this short clip is from the episode. Others available on the Spectacle site.

Faces!

I promise that if they play Memphis, I'm there. From Classic Rock magazine:

Ronnie Wood has confirmed that the original line-up of The Faces (Rod Stewart, keyboard player Ian McLagan and drummer Kenney Jones. Bassist Ronnie Lane passed away in 1997) are already rehearsing for a full tour that will take place next year.

And More.

I'm on the road for work (what the fuck?) the next couple of days. Please try not to miss me too much.

If You Don't Hear From Me For a Few Weeks....

....it's time for my annual egg nog party. Andy can tell you all about it. The nog is a recipe from the 1950s when men were men and women were groped at office parties. It has a pint each of bourbon, vodka, and rum with some sherry thrown in for good measure. I'll be making it tomorrow and living it down for the next several days at least. Have a good weekend!

Lost Anyface EP surfaces; media goes into frenzy

OK, not really. But this is a 'lost' EP. Actually, can something be lost if no one is looking for it? This was a fully recorded effort that was mixed but only existed on cassette. The fidelity is lacking as it was dubbed from the tape, but I am really happy with the performances, most of which were live in the studio. The songs:

1) Pophead- lots o' feedback and nice drums
2) Stolen Iron Heart - written and sung by bassist Johnny. The vocal is a little overwrought, but it is a nice melody.
3) Long Ago Blown - one my all time favorite compositions, and killer drums from Paulie.
4) Happy Fight - the only Young Brians composition I ever recorded without them.
5) Jolene - Johnny sings the Dolly Parton classic. Nice solo.
6) Holly Hates Rock and Roll - my favorite recorded vocal, the whole song, solo and all, done live in the studio. Enjoy MoFos, and let me know what you think.

FourX The Pleasure.

Biblical Scholars Surprised by the Nature of the Second Coming

The image of Jesus found in the grain of an acoustic guitar. It seems our savior is full of surprises.

Subteens Still Hanging In There

Courtesy of BullyRook.

Ugh

Well, that was awful. Fortunately I had Skybox seats thanks to an old friend, so instead of suffering through the misery of a 30-point loss in constant rain, I suffered through the misery of a 30-point loss with free beer, boiled shrimp and chili dogs. It wasn't very good beer, though.

And Texas got screwed!! Fuck the BCS. Oh well. Could be worse, I could have gone to LSU.

Oh Dear

I know I'm the primary comic book geek among us, but I am capable of picking and choosing. This movie will suck beyond all reason, in ways that previous bad comic book movies have lacked in their sucking. I've seen the trailers, and The Spirit breaks the first rule of comic book movies: Thou shalt not take thyself too seriously. Exhibit A ...
I could be wrong, but I doubt it.

Dig Yourself

You can bet your last dollar that Nick Cave is always the coolest motherforker in the room. I know this is a little dated, but I had never seen the video. And maybe it's me, but Mr. Cave reminds me a little of Brad Pitt here.