Jesus, I'm A Pussy

This website has had me choked up a half-dozen times today. Bring your tissue, girls.

Visit StoryCorps. If you're man enough.

Remember When I Thought Morrisey Sucked?

When I first got into 'alternative' music, I bought the Smiths Strangeways Here We Come (to go with my obligatory REM, Husker Du, Dinosaur, and Replacements LPs). I loved the leadoff track and a couple of others, but I just didn't get it. Hence, my appreciation for the Smiths has always been second rate at best. I picked up a Best of Morrisey solo type thing many years ago and liked a couple more songs, but his warbly melodicism and wordiness tended to leave me cold.

Finally, when You Are the Quarry dropped a year or two ago, I heard a single and picked up the album and was dumbstruck at how amazing it was and how much his voice had grown on me, as if through osmosis. "First of the Gang to Die", "Irish Blood, English Heart" and "All the Lazy Dykes" gave me a new appreciation for his amazing melodic invention.

Now I'm back into the Smiths. I dug out Strangeways again and am wondering how I missed this stuff the first time. Maybe I've just experienced more misery in my life and can relate better. I must say however, that Moz's falsetto vocals on "Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now" still rank as the gayest thing I've heard since Jay tried to cover "Beautiful" by Christina Aguilera.

5ives

I accidentally wrote a check like that once when I was in college ("5ive and no/100s").

Turns out, there's a website called 5ives, consisting of a gigantic list of fives - not unlike Letterman's Top Ten Lists - ranging from the poignant to the hilarious. Anything goes - Five terrible fake Dickens characters, Five amazing Beatles bridges, or Five more things Pat Robertson needs you to pray on. I killed an hour reading these yesterday ...

Here are some of my favorites:

Five more slightly misleading revelations of federally-funded abstinence programs

1. Liberal senators want to award slutty girls free sub for 6th abortion
2. Wearing green on Thursday makes you so totally gay
3. Douche with Dr. Pepper and your baby will have luxurious brown hair
4. When you masturbate on a Sunday, Jesus punches Keith Moon in the mouth
5. Latex condoms make your kooch smell like a pork rind: forever!

Five subject lines from recent spams that would also make good titles for Guided by Voices songs

1. Confucianism: You Should Carry On
2. Topsoil Deals Offsetting
3. Squirehood, What’s Your Wife’s Favorite One?
4. Secular Rockabye Countryman
5. Porpoise, Only You Can Superstition

Five terrible fake congressional honorifics

1. The distinguished cocksmoker from that hellhole, Mississippi
2. The obsequious bootlicker from Virginia
3. The exalted pederast from Kentucky
4. The noisome harpy from California
5. The fat-assed blowhard from that one flyover state

Five terrible fake novelty drink names at that one bar near campus

1. Weepin’ Tyler’s Tangy Grandma Rememberer
2. The Great American Face Slap Factory
3. The Homoerotic Context Erasinator (with salty rim)
4. Cap’n Morgan’s Highe Seas Roofie Hyderr
5. Daddy’s Dreams Desolvin’ Appletini

Visit 5ives.

This made me larf...loudly....

I happened upon the new series from the Wallace and Gromit guy (Nick Parker) on BBCAmurka. Fucking super hilarious, but also amazing animation. Amazing, I say!

Clips on the Beeb site.
Fun stuff on their site.

AND it's on Netflix!!

Again...am I the only one hoose never heard of this?

Genius: On Frank Black, Pt. 1

Over the past month, I have experienced a new appreciation for the work of Frank Black. If you guys dropped out of the picture circa Teenager of the Year, you are really missing a lot of amazing (and amazingly consistent) work. Some highlights since then:

The Cult of Ray
This album has the most ferocious energy of any FB solo release. Highlights include 'Punk Rock City', 'You Ain't Me', and the epic, crawly, gorgeous 'The Last Stand of Shazeb Andleeb' (or something like that). This album was in ridiculously high rotation for over a year for me. Makes me feel good about the kind of rock and roll I like. Oh yeah, when I saw this tour, I realized that Lyle Workman and Rich Gilbert are two of the greatest unsung guitar-maestros ever.

Frank Black and the Catholics
Should be called Melody Masterpiece. 'All My Ghosts', 'I Don't Want to Hurt You', and especially 'Dog Gone' are all songs that focus less on the extraterrestrial motifs of the first three solo albums and more on personal matters. 'The Man Who Was Too Loud' is a lovely tribute to Johnathan Richman. This album also marked the beginning of FB's recording live to 2 track in the studio- no overdubs, just kick ass performances.

Pistolero
I'm a little less enthusiastic about this one, but great live-in-the-studio performances all over the place and great riffs and arrangements.

Any of you clowns into these albums? I'll cover Dog in the Sand, Devil's Workshop, Black Letter Days, and Honeycomb in a future post. Please discuss the genius of FB in the 'Comment' section.

Not that the record will actually be any good, but...

or here

Speakin' of Robots...

When, Jay, are you going to get into Lego's Mindstorms kits? I know "Ian" would love them. They're big in the ed. tech field. For good reason.

http://mindstorms.lego.com/

Also, did I mention that I (ME! JOE!!) won the "fun" category and got runner-up in "commercially viable" in a student video game design competition. What I won't mention is that there were only around 6 teams and I was the only participant who could have gone and gotten a beer after the presentations...which, I think, warrants my booger picker badge in the nerd scouts.

Finally, would it offend anybody if I wrote FUCK SCHOOL!! in big capital letters?

Won't You Please Take A Moment?

Complete your profiles, bitches. Click on your name up there ...

On the F-Tee Pee

I put up new ones by Neko Case, "Fox Confessor Brings the Flood," and James Hand, "The Truth Will Set You Free."

You of course know Neko from the New Pornographers. She's playing here tomorrow night. My jury is still out on the album. It's got members of Calexico, along with Howie Gelb, and Garth Hudson, so that should tell you a bit about how it sounds.

The other is James Hand, who might be mistaken for a Hank impersonator. I've seen him a couple of times around Austin, and he's really good. The album is obviously country as hell, but it's old school stuff. Old old school.

Enjoy. Or don't. I don't care.

House Hunting

Okay guys, sorry I've been neglecting my blog duties, but the wife and I have been looking for a new abode. There's still a lot of things up in the air, but if everything goes according to our tentative plan, we'll be moving to G'town this summer. (There goes my life-long Memphibian status.) We don't even have our current home on the market yet, so we're going the scary-as-hell bridge loan route, wherein we'll have our original mortgage, our new mortgage, and a third loan until we sell our home. Fun times, but we'll try to push the closing date and hope for the best.

I had my usual stress dream last night, so it's official now.

To Be Continued, the Movie.

This weekend I attended a few screenings at Durham's Full Frame Documentary Film Festival (the largest such festival in the United States). My interest was primarily due to the large number of Katrina/New Orleans related films. One film 'Tim's Island' was filmed during the hurricane and the week after by a filmmaker who was holed up in a MidCity Warehouse with 15 other people as waters began to rise. My dear friend Maria was one of the 16, and so I mostly went to see her on the big screen. It was a really interesting firsthand look at the storm and its aftermath, as well as the fascinating sociological developments that occur when society's normal boundaries are broken down, and it becomes every man and woman for him or herself.

The standout film, however, was called 'To Be Continued' and looked at the 9 members of the To Be Continued Brass Band, a bunch of 16-21 year olds from N.O. who performed most nights at the corner of Canal and Bourbon. After Katrina, the 9 are scattered across the country but are all consumed with when they will be able to be together again to play their wonderful, joyous music. Their candor, humor, sweetness, and single-minded dedication to being together left me exhilerated and truly, deeply missing my city. After the screening, the band members themselves came from behind the curtain and performed that inimitable brass band music and then led the crowd out to the street for a real New Orleans second line parade. I stood there in the sun of Durham with tears streaming down my face. The city I missed so badly seems to have figured out a way to come find me and lift me up when I needed it most. Please see this film if you get the opportunity.

Make no sail for a gift of the wind...

Man, I went and saw the documentary about Ronnie Lane ("The Passing Show") and it was really good. It's very low-budget, which I guess is fitting. It's just a really sad but beautiful (but sad) story of another one of those guys who just couldn't fit in to the R&R life, but genuinely loved the music. Some great live footage. Pete Townshend comes off looking like less of a dick than he often does. Anyhoo, not much on the web about it (nothing on IMDB), but some info from the Ronnie Lane site (here), and a nice old Austin Chronicle article .

Ricky Gervais' porn name

So...I went through the effort of recording Ricky Gervais on the Jon Stewart Show, but forgot I was recording it and ended up with around 2 hours of Comedy Central. No problem, I thought...and I started to edit down the Gervais footage, which I intended to put on the ftp. That was taking my slow-ass rig ages, so I cancelled it and found the link. If you really want your own copy to do dirty things to (like masturbate) , Jay, I'll make it.

Ricky Gervais on Jon Stewart (Comedy Central)

Like, Totally OMG

Finally, some real news we can all be pleased with. The Replacements (or a reasonable facsimilie thereof) have recorded two new tracks for their upcoming 'Best Of' on Rhino. The details:

http://members.aol.com/paulspage/news.htm

Death By Sexy ...

Hey, it's a 2 for Tuesday! Let's just say it's a little slow today. NPR's All Songs Considered podcast hipped me to this album. All hail Bob Boilen! (Yes, I'm a dork. And your point, sir?)

Anyways, Queens of the Stone Age guitarist/singer Josh Homme plays drums in Eagles of Death Metal as Carlo Von Sexron. The new album, Death By Sexy ..., drops April 11th. The song that I heard is called "I Want You So Hard (Boys Bad News)," and this is what fast, loose rock 'n' roll is supposed to sound like. It helps that these guys are obviously having fun. I hope the rest of the album is this infectious ...

Says lead singer Jesse "Boots Electric" Hughes:

"I'd rather be compared to someone I love than try to make something different. I just want to make Little Richard proud."

Amen and amen.

Download "I Want You So Hard (Boys Bad News)."

Visit the Eagles of Death Metal website.

A Return To The Counter Culture?

When Clerks came out in 1994, I was 25. I lost a lung watching that movie, but I haven't really been a fan of Kevin Smith's subsequent oeuvre. Hopefully, Clerks II will deliver the funny on August 18th.

Looks promising, but what do I know? Watch the trailer.

Pandora

A friend of mine sent me a link to this site. It's part of the "Music Genome Project" where a bunch of musicians and music-obsessed nerds put together "the most comprehensive analysis of music ever." Basically what you do is put in the name of a band you like and it makes a station with songs by that band and similar bands you might like. Am I the only one who's never heard of this?

http://www.pandora.com/