Thursday, March 08, 2012

The Cruel Shoes


Fellow Mathletes: Due to recurrent pelvic stress fractures - broke ass to the layman - this bastard was recently seeking a more ass-sound running method. After reading a fascinating article The Once and Future Way to Run, I became an enthusiastic, insufferable barefoot convert. I am now more in touch with my evolutionary inner monkey!
It was barefeets on the treadmill for a bit, then out on the streets in my new finger-toed kicks, see above.
Not one week into the conversion, I was viciously attacked by some sort of vampire snake, as you can see from the above abras bite marks. Also note the fractured and somewhat embiggened big toe. I learned that in Spanish your big toe is called your "fat toe", so it's been educational all around.
I'm supposed to stay in a walking boot and not run for 4-6 weeks, but being an incorrigible bastard, I ran the next day anyway.
Happy to report that a broken toe does not limit my ability to put my foot in my mouth. Anyone know a good dentist?

7 comments:

Dave said...

Feet are gross. Running is dumb. Exercise is horseshit. Shoes with toes defeat the purpose of shoes. Funyons are tasty. Rock is dead.

Joe said...

I have been running barefoot on trails for a couple of years now and swear by its therapeutic properties. I have thought about mentioning it here, but figured it was just too weird. I would not, however, jump off a cliff wearing those ugly ass 'shoes.'

Jay said...

Ouch.

I've been running in these for the last few weeks. There was definitely an adjustment phase where I had to alternate between new and old shoes, but I'm loving them. Instead of landing on my heels, it's shorter strides and a mid-foot strike. Don't think I could run barefoot.

I'm definitely going to check out that NY Times article, though. And Dave, I take issue with your comment - Funyons are not tasty.

Dave said...

You guys are clearly wasting your time with this 'running'. I get my exercise on a stationary bicycle while I watch Cinemax late night classics on my DVR.

Jay said...

Ha ha. The benefits I get from exercising far outweigh the misery. Better sleep, improved mood, increased energy, weight loss, heart health and boosted immune system are worth it. But it still sucks.

Eric, I'm intrigued by this Hundred Up thang.

Eric said...

I did the "hundred ups" a little bit and then dove straight into the cruel shoes and barefoot treadmill. Feels much less awkward and jarring. My calves are fairly sore afterwards -- which is a good thing.

I'm going to invite Dave to a 5K "Fun Run" just to bring out his inner curmudgeon.

Mike said...

Maybe your method of running is different from mine, but I don't see running as an ass-breaking exercise. I think you need to bring it down a notch in the bedroom, Poobah.