Saturday, December 28, 2013

More Year-End Lists: What Did We Get Stuck In Our Rectums This Year?


Praise the searchable database: The Consumer Product Safety Commission is the resource for the compilation below. Here is what your fellow Americans are inserting this year:

PENIS

  • penis plug
  • 20-30 magnetic bucky balls
  • dice
  • fishtank airhose
  • antenna
  • sewing needle
  • dental floss with beads
  • marble
  • embedded domino in penis "to please the ladies"

  • VAGINA

  • glue stick
  • small finger vibrator - "it's still on"
  • "long black object"
  • penis ring
  • rivet
  • spoon
  • pencil eraser
  • napkins in vagina to have sex during period

  • RECTUM

  • soda can
  • soda bottle
  • flashlight
  • bathtub stopper
  • shot glass (broken)
  • sock
  • end of curtain rod
  • "big purple dildo"
  • toy submarine
  • "patient states he was experiencing an itchy rectum and inserted a remote control to scratch"
  • "patient states he got drunk and passed out at girlfriends house, awoke with spoons and dildos in rectum"
  • pool ball
  • lit bottle rocket; "it didn't go well"
  • 5 comments:

    Mike said...

    I wonder if the toy submarine was full of seamen.

    Eric said...

    That deserves a rim shot.

    Jay said...

    What the fuck is a penis plug?

    Eric said...

    Jay it's one of those extra plastic attachments that comes with your vacuum cleaner or dustbuster.

    Try it.

    Joe said...

    Looks like a typical weekend for Jay.