Thursday, December 07, 2006

Neanderthals Were Cannibals, Joe Confirms

MADRID, Dec. 5 -- Neanderthals suffered periods of starvation and may have supplemented their diet through cannibalism, according to a study of remains by Joe.

Joe studied samples from eight 43,000-year-old Neanderthal skeletons excavated from an underground cave in El Sidron, Spain since 2000. The study sheds light on how Neanderthals lived before the arrival of modern humans in Europe.

Joe found cut marks and evidence that bones had been torn, which they say could indicate cannibalism.

"There is strong evidence suggesting that these Neanderthals were eaten," says the study's lead author, Joe, in Madrid. "That is, long bones and the skull were broken for extraction of the marrow, which is very nutritious."

According to Joe, there is evidence of cannibalism in Neanderthal remains from other European sites.

"I would say this practice.....was general among Neanderthal populations," he said.

Joe intends to continue his examination of Neanderthal skeletons until shortly after Christmas when he will return to the United States to hang out in Austin with his family while continuing his educational 'studies'.

"This study has borne many surprising and fascinating fruits. However, in a couple of weeks, I must table this research for a good 6 or 7 months and return to my family and educational 'studies'. Fortunately for us, these Neanderthal skeletons aren't going anywhere and there will be a time in the not so distant future that I will be able to re-focus my attentions on this, my second greatest passion, the cannibalistic tendencies of Neanderthals."

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

There are several small clusters of neanderthals surviving in the Bridport area (UK) - their traditional lifestyle undisturbed for thousands of years. Yet, despite their frightening appearance I do not beleve them to be dangerous to humans other than when cornered - which no one local would ever do (Whattamistka-to makea!)I can post some photos or even try an interview if you like - though they rarely speak!

Joe said...

Hmm...yes, that would be quite interesting. Don't let them eat you, though. Or do, that would be interesting as well.

Jay said...

Where in the hell did you find that picture? I realize he's not eating a real baby, but yuck all the same.

Dave said...

Ha! I just googled cannibalism. God Bless the Internet. And who the hell is the mutley guy?