Wither The Blog

Eat Your Prunes, Dave

No seriously. Happy Birthday!

Must Be Summer

Graduation is nigh, seasonal depression kicks in

Like any teacher who tells the truth, I could not be more excited about getting another school year on the books and having a month or two to recharge. But there are always a couple of students who graduate each year who I know I will miss terribly. Sometimes we keep in touch, more often we don't, and life goes on. This year, Mel is graduating and I am seriously sad. This kid has been a T.A. for me, a musical collaborator, a constant source of amusement, a rock during my wedding planning stress, and a true friend. She will be going to college locally in Raleigh, but I will sincerely miss seeing her every day. I am so proud of her, but this is the definition of bittersweet. Cheers, Mel! 

Bruuuuuuuuce!

The man is a god.

Call Me!

Birmingham band.

Don't Leave Me Hangin' Bro

Happi Hi Five Day, Bastards!

Spring Is Here, The Sky Is Blue

Couldn't find one that said Going to the Wax Museum...SO looking forward to this weekend even if I'm driving 8 hours with two kids and a grouchy wife!

Record Store Day-ve

International Record Store Day coincides with Bastard Nuptial Day, and let's all get excited.

For Record Store Day 2014 (April 19), Jack White has revealed plans to issue the “world’s fastest released record” ever, moving from studio to store in record time. According to White’s Third Man Records website, the guitarist will perform a live version of “Lazaretto,” the title track of his upcoming solo album on the morning of April 19 at a special fan show inside the Third Man store in Nashville. From there, the original acetate will be rushed to nearby United Record Pressing, where vinyl 45s will be made, utilizing images taken from the recording session for cover art. The finished singles will then be whisked back to the Third Man Records store for waiting fans to snap up in what’s sure to be an instant sell-out.

Dave: Mr. White is feeling slighted that Elvis Costello got the wedding invite and he did not. He's trying to get noticed. Can you show him a little love?

No Fun Zone?

Last Thursday . . . a tall man with a device resembling a 1980s-era cellphone was going door to door on Bourbon Street. The man was David Woolworth, an acoustics expert hired by the City Council, and he was taking decibel measurements as part of an effort to better manage the volume dial in a city long famous for its street musicians, boisterous crowds and perpetual parades.

Dave, are they trying to sanitize Bourbon Street before we arrive? What the hell man?

Split Single's Fragmented World

What do you get when Jason Narducy (Superchunk, Bob Mould) teams up with Britt Daniel (Spoon, Divine Fits) and Jon Wurster (Superchunk, Mountain Goats) to record a few of his songs in four days? For The Precise answer, see title above.

A Man Called Destruction

"A quiet life away from music helped save him. He apparently stopped drinking and left Memphis for New Orleans. (None of his friends understood how that would help.)"

You readers out there: NEW ALEX CHILTON BOOK.

Spring

Finally! Hope you bastards are warming up. The sun dresses are in full bloom here in the Stand Your Sunshine State.

Up The Bracket

I've predictably shot my wad way too early but this is the first time I haven't been mathematically eliminated on Day One in several years. From my dad's office pool. Go Bison! What?

Ha ha.

Happy St Patrick's Day, bastards!

O'Dave, you should still be drinking even if spring break is over.

Hard-Hitting Political Interview

Between Two Ferns with Zach Galifianakis: President Barack Obama from President Barack Obama

Zach, he's not our ambassador.

And you thought The Four Seasons sucked at covers!

Just feast your ears on my stab at a Beyonce' song! I guess you shouldn't drink 11 Bud Lights before noon! Or should you...

What You Need

Is Frankie Valley and the Four Seasons doing Dylan.

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

This is a thing.  Alas, I was unable to win one to give to Beckerboy for his wedding present.  Perhaps we can sneak his mobile away from him and wrap it in the real stuff.
http://www.wakeupandsmellthebacon.com/

Lent

Not as in I lent a bastard money and he paid me back with beer, but as in 'tis the solemn season of Lent. This time of speculation and end of the Mardi Gras means that our own sodden New Orleans transplant (Sodomite) ex Poobah JD Beckerman's wedding is a mere 6 weeks away.  I and at least one other Bastard (Jay) have reservated accommodations and travel plans.  Anybody going to help me get a flying solo Jay hammered?  It's REALLY funny.

Neo-Retro Friday

Have a Pixi-fied weekend, you lot!

Stripped

Cover art by Bastard High Deity Bill Watterson

Anyone else in?

Shit

Harold Ramis, November 21, 1944 – February 24, 2014.  I loved the scene he did in Knocked Up.

Shit

Bob Casale of Devo. Born: July 14th, 1952 . Deceased: February 17th, 2014

I Still Love My Japanese Car, Part II

[click to embiggen, it's worth it]
Automobile enthusiasts: I appreciate the above Subaru owner's sentiments.

After 160,000 miles in my 2Fast2Furious car, the clutch has disintegrated and I'm faced with standard wear-and-tear repairs costly enough to prompt the question "what next?"

The question - alas - is rhetorical, as I am not next in line in our household for an automotive upgrade. I will stick it out, hopefully for another 100-150,000 miles or until Jay buys me a Tesla.

It's just as well: I'm told that no car will make me happy after an STI anyway.

22 years ago I moved south because of this shit

Every time I try to escape, it pulls me back in. Looking at 3rd and 4th snow day of the year, which means that I'll be stuck on Unit 2 in World History for a week longer than I wanted. Stay safe and warm Bastards.

Shimmering Stars

Can't get enough of these guys lately.

No Matter What Dylan Says, I Still Love My Japanese Car

Joe? Would Bob approve of that Maserati?

Shit

Arthur Rankin, Jr.

Olympic Toilets ... Continued

The judges are closer than ever to the action!

British Vs American Version?

I was going to have Amazon bum-rush Jay with Morrissey's autobiography for his recent 61st birthday until I found out that the American rendition left out the gay parts. That just didn't seem right. Do you bastards have predominately British or American sensibilities?

British The Office vs American The Office
Revolver WITH "And Your Bird Can Sing" vs Revolver WITHOUT "And Your Bird Can Sing"
The Philosopher's Stone vs The Sorceror's Stone
knickers vs panties

Are we not Bastards?

Then there should be a music related post posted posthaste.  Ah yes, this will serve.  Writing something that sounds original about the Beatles nowadays is harder than finding something fresh on the lunch buffet after 1:00. 

Lotsa Harbaugh For You Dave

Enjoy your de facto national holiday this weekend, bastards.

Don't Worry ...

Happy BirthJay!

Once. Again.

We saw the touring Broadway version of this last night. Forgot what a great story it is. If you've seen it, see it again. If you haven't, well, you know what to do. 

New Fap Fap Fap Hold Fap Fap Fap Steady Fap Fap Fap!

Teeth Dreams will be out March 25 according to Rolling Stoned.
First Single: I Hope This Whole Thing Didn't Frighten You

Two Men Enter, One Man Leaves

After you.

Shit

"And that's why I can make a radio out of a coconut, and not fix a hole in a boat."

- Russell Johnson, on the Professor having a degree from M.I.T.
You, sitting there: describe how Gilligan's Island shaped who you are today.

I Heart Brando.

Another in the series Dick Cavett interviews an oversized genius.

Friday!

Have a good weekend, Bastards!  I'm in Little Rock all next week!  Kill me!

Dave You Moved There On Purpose Right?

This was actually compiled with real data.

The Sound of No Hands Clapping

Neil Young was just a few bars into an indignant old song at Carnegie Hall on Monday night... when he abruptly threw the emergency brake.
“Wrong!” he barked, waving one hand, as if to cut off a rehearsal band. Part of the audience had started clapping to the beat — but not quite on the beat, as Mr. Young complained...
“It’s something that you probably don’t know,” he said, peering into the house from the stage, “but there’s a hell of a distance between you and me.”
At face value, that was an acoustical observation, a remark about natural reverb from somebody who has made a lifelong study of it. But it was also an assertion of order, and, on some level, a formal rebuke.

I love Neil.

Champions!

I died a thousand deaths watching that game.

Joe, You Got Your Lucky G-String On?

If not, you will be held to account when FSU loses!

Seriously, good luck in the make-believe national championship.

The Best Card Trick You'll See All Day

I'm Speechless