They Wish...

File under: Makes sense to me

From a law suit filed against Wal-Mart, alleging negligence, gross negligence, false imprisonment and assault, by two women who claim that they were punched in the face by an unknown female assailant, during the Black Friday "Blitz" sale:

Upon information and belief, integral to the design of the sale was emplacing in the shoppers a feeling of anxiety. Each member of the crowd would experience fear of being smashed, while vertical, or trampled, while horizontal: that fall to the ground would be a prelude to burial thereunder. Afterwards, once inside the store each shopper would have a feeling of emotional freedom and release that would cause him or her to do more purchasing.

I often feel emotional freedom at Wal-Mart, no choking or trampling needed.