The Beach was Great!

Everyone was SO friendly! Actually, I had to spend most of the time pretending to work, but I did have one day in the sun and also ate a lot of fried dead sea things. I could get used to life on the beach. I had mixed feelings about leaving Ft. Walton, which made for an easy decision when I was offered a travel voucher to spend an extra night there, courtesy of Northwest. Sweet!

So, Dave's travels are also winding down, Joe's work plans are still a bit vague and Jay either has a bloxorz in his pocket or he's really happy to see us. It's good to be home!

Uh ... Guys?

Bloxorz

As addictive as Tetris.

Play it here.

Bon Scott's Pre-AC/DC Work

He's the singer in the back ...

The Worst Movies Ever

First Day Of Shooting For Indy 4

Can you believe the first Indiana Jones movie came out 26 years ago?! I was 12.

You have got to check out this website, the "only online source for official Indiana Jones news, updates, and much more."

Indy used to be tough and ruthless; now, he's looking rough and toothless. I'm actually looking forward to this, though.

Gone Fission

We're on a break 'til some other bastard gets back. In the meantime, I refer you to a previous dry-spell post ...

Jay's Theme Song for the next week

I'm outta here ladies, going to Ft. Walton Beach on "business" for a week. Looks like somebody's going to be dancing with himself. Hey man, there's nothing to lose and there's nothing to prove, you hear what I'm saying?

Never Thought I'd See This Again ...

Did you guys watch Night Flight? JacMac & RadBoy completely blew my teenaged mind.

Unprecedented 26th Relaunch Of Subteens Site

Why? I guess I got tired of looking at the test pattern.

Up close and personal here.

Sickboy Syndrome: Five Great Comedians Who've Lost It

Brutal. Absolutely brutal.

And dead on.

Cracked has a website? Yes, with absolutely nothing in common with the old MAD magazine wannabe.

Read the article and stick around for others, including Great Moments in Gratuitous Sci-Fi Nudity, The Five Most Unintentionally Funny Albums of 2006, and Attack of the Clones: Suspiciously Similar Movie Showdown ...

Have You Had Enough?

Acquired last night, even more photos from the reunion show, taken by Kram's roommate Chris. Not as "artistic" as the last set.

So, you know, you can tell it's us.

Find them on the Fragrant Tranny Pilgrim.

And, visit Chris's cool-awesome website, if'n you want. It's Live From Memphis, supporting and promoting local musicians, filmmakers, artists, and industry professionals who are the lifeblood of the Memphis creative scene.

Lesa (3 of 3)

Then I discovered that Alex Chilton used photos by Eggleston on Radio City and his own Like Flies on Sherbet album covers. Wow, cool! But the kicker turned up on another blog: The girl on the right in the photo below was Eggleston's second cousin and Alex's girlfriend, the Lesa of Kizza Me! THAT Lesa!

Eggleston and Chilton had first crossed paths earlier, when the photographer was using a studio in back of Chilton's parents' house, according to an Observer article. And who should I find is the piano player on Nature Boy on Third/Sister, a song I've probably heard 50 times? Bill Eggleston, of course! (I'm sure you guys already knew all this.)

The Story Behind a Picture (2 of 3)

I found this article you should check out on the Smithsonian site telling the story behind this wonderful Eggleston photo. The documentary revealed a fascinating character in the photographer: at times a Gregory Peck-like gentleman, charming and noble, at others a hard-drinking, chainsmoking eccentric, both amazing and kind of pathetic. We also see Eggleston as a late night musician, playing the piano after much whiskey.

Why is it so exhilarating to find a connection between two things you love independently? My next discovery was a jaw-dropper..

William Eggleston (1 of 3)

It's not easy to talk about what makes an image interesting and involving, so I'll just say that William Eggleston's simply are. A documentary about him caught my eye last night because he lives in Memphis. The doc was no better than OK, but the barrage of his photos left me visually intoxicated. They're so simple, but utterly arresting. A quote of his was in the film, "The obvious is my enemy." His material wasn't the obvious, but it was contained in it. I went to the internets to see more, and did. Stayed tuned, this story is just beginning..

Team Fortress 2

Valve doesn't miss a trick. But they DO miss deadlines. This looks like mucho fun, if you don't mind getting your ass handed to you by a 13 year old.

Team Fortress 2 is supposed to hit the market in October, but they've been working on it for six years.

What's a girl to do?

Wicked cool video.

Buster Keaton

I'm sure by now you've seen the amazing Honda commercial "Cog." I read (on the internets, so it must be true) that it required over 600 takes. It made me think of the amazing stuff Keaton used to pull off, often stunts they had just 1 shot to get right, since they involved something being utterly and hilariously destroyed. This clip gathers many of his best.

Jackie Earle Haley News!

One of my pet obsessions used to be wondering whatever happened to Jackie Earle Haley, the little guy from The Bad News Bears and Breaking Away. I couldn't understand how he just disappeared when he was such an obvious talent. After toiling in obscurity for twenty-something years as a pizza delivery guy, a limousine chauffeur, and a security guard, Haley made an amazing comeback (including an Oscar nomination!) last year for his role as a somewhat sympathetic pedophile in Little Children.

Anyway, there's a rumor circulating today on the internets that he has been offered the role of Rorschach in Zack Snyder's Watchmen, which I mentioned to you bastards before. This is incredible news, and I hope he gets the part. Here's an article about said rumor.

Oh, and Entertainment Weekly has a pretty interesting article about Mr. Haley over here.

Google Analytics

Yo, bastards! I got bored last week and installed Google Analytics on the old blargh for shits & giggles. Whaaat? I hear you blankly asking your monitor as coffee dribbles down your chin.

"Google Analytics has been re-designed to help you learn even more about where your visitors come from and how they interact with your site."

Or don't, as the case may be. Yes, our suspicions have been confirmed - it's just us, which is good. Just so you have a greater appreciation for what I've done, GA used to cost $500.00 a month. It's free now, and incredibly powerful; the level of granularity is staggering. Unfortunately for us, it's like killing two copulating flies with a howitzer.

Lurker, send me your gmail address and I'll add you as an admin. You other guys are SOL.

Fellow Fathers, Today Is Our Day

All of you who have passed on your bastard genes, Happy Father's Day! (I make a motion that we allow Dave to join the festivities, since he has fathered several bands, good lads all.) Hope you're all grilling dead animals and getting your daily bread from a can today.

North to Alaska

On Wednesday, our Summer Tour of Weddings begins with our sojourn to Homer, Alaska (located along the Kenai Peninsula, above, and also hometown of Jay's favorite poetess, Jewell). There I will be the officiant at the wedding of Mike Werts, longtime collaborator and would-be Bastard. Following, we will go to Spokane to be met by Caroline's parents and sister for a Meeting of the Tribes. We'll return to Durham on July 2. I will probably only be able to post sporadically during this time (do they even have the "Internet" in Alaska?). In the very likely event that I am mauled by a bear, overrun by a slowly creeping glacier, trampled by a moose, or kidnapped onto a Russian whaling/vodka boat, it has been a pleasure serving with you.

Viva I Papi!

Sweet Hey-zeus, it just doesn't get any better than this. God bless the day Jaime intro'd me to the Smoking Popes! (and damn, what a drummer!)

Cracker Barrel Announces Plans To Build Another One Out By The Highway

This just in from The Onion.

Verkligen stor sång!

Not a bad pop song, ya?

Firefly, Sopranos

So, I'm currently hung up on the short-lived but much-loved Fox sci-fi series of 2002 Firefly, on DVD. The last time I binged on a TV show like this was the Sopranos a couple of years back. (OK, wait, there was The Boondocks, too.) Firefly is great. With 90 minute episodes, it's almost like watching a series of actual movies, but with this natural caveat: it feels episodic. You know? New episode, new crises, good guys win and everyone's still on Gilligan's Isle when it's over. But it has made me realize that something very otherwise was going on with the Sopranos: that series always seemed to be charging towards some ultimate resolution. I'm not really a TV watcher, but it seems to me like that's what they did better than everyone else: made you feel, episode after episode, that the shit was finally about to hit the fan once and for all. They stayed in the third act, climaxing and climaxing. You can't watch the episodes randomly, because they're always a tedious argument of insidious intent, leading you to an overwhelming question. At least that's how it seems to me, at 11:31 on Thursday. Can't wait till the final season hits DVD.

End Of An Ear

I saw the Hold Steady this weekend. I guess that will be my last big Austin schow. Definitely a great one to go out on. I also took the kiddies to see Dan Zanes and friends (including Barbara Brousal), which cost me an arm and a leg, but was a lot of fun.

We load the truck tomorrow, and it's off to Fla and a few days on the beach, so you won't be hearing much from me for awhile.

Maybe This Explains Dave's Recent Absence?

Hated Blogger Leaves U.S., Threatens Lawsuits

Stax on the rebound?

Ran across this article this morning. Too lengthy to recopy here, but follow the link to some interesting reading about Stax, its new owners, and plans for the future.

Tom Snyder Propositions ... Ace Frehley?

You'll notice Gene isn't amused.

...

Who Do Ya Use?

I'm running down the minutes on my Tracfone (aka The Ghetto Phone), and I'm casting about for a new cellphone service provider for the wife and myself. My place of employment gets me a 20% discount on most of the big guys, and it appears that the cost will be about the same no matter who I choose. I'm just looking for solid, reliable service, and at the moment, I'm leaning towards ATT (formerly Cingular).

Thoughts?

Achtung, Audiophiles!

I found this freaking cool software yesterday that converts old LPs, 45s, and cassettes to MP3s. After converting, you have the option of applying filters that can auto EQ and/or remove pops and crackles from vinyl (and hiss from tapes). In the trial version, you get three transfers; if you decide to buy, it's $34.95. At every step, you have the option of letting the software automate everything - setting recording levels, splitting tracks - and it even comes with tutorials that will help you assemble your recording equipment if you're an absolute beginner.

I've been dabbling with this archiving thing for the past few years, and this is the first time I've been totally happy with the results. I'm still learning when to EQ and when not to EQ, but here are some examples of my experiments with "before" and "afters" for comparison. (Audacity is decent freeware; MusicMatch was too, until Yahoo bought it and totally fucked it up.)

Public Image Ltd. - "Bags"
(Audacity)
(Acoustica Spin It Again)

Alice Cooper - "No More Mister Nice Guy"
(MusicMatch? Can't remember)
(Acoustica Spin It Again)

Learn more about Acoustica Spin It Again.

This Will Almost Certainly Suck

And it's too bad, because the Richard Matheson book is so incredible. There have been two previous attempts - 1964's The Last Man On Earth, starring Vincent Price, and 1971's The Omega Man, starring Mr. NRA. Neither movie really got it right.

It's been a few years since I've read it, but the book does an excellent job of describing Robert Neville's plight as the only survivor of an apocalypse in which all other humans have become vampires. His loneliness is palpable, and it's particularly creepy how the vampires come back - night after night after night - and bang on his door, taunting him with insults and naked women. Come to think of it, I think the naked women insult him, too.

A good way to handle criticism

Metacritic.com culls together reviews of stuff in a particularly effective way. I like getting a feel for the overall critical reception of a movie, but don't want to hear too many details about one I haven't seen, so it's perfect for me. It also links to scads of reviews, when you're ready for the details. They also cover music, in case any of ya'll are into that.

The Fratellis Acoustic

This is from some obscure music fest that they apparently hold every year at some cow town in Texas. When they plugged in their guitars, they did a cover of The Seeker with Pete Townshend, who you may remember was once famous.

The Be Sharps

And THESE guys were, OK, not quite as good as the Ruttles.

Get Up And Go

These guys were almost as good ...

Don't Let Me Down

This song is so tough. And this performance is so awesome. Don't tell me these guys hated each other or that the joy had gone out of the music. Look how happy John looks, bringing this thing to life and Paul just nailing the harmonies and weird structure.

Attractive Curiosity

Here's Wendy James, the former singer of Transvision Vamp, who wrote Elvis Costello and his former wife Cait O'Riordan a begging letter, wondering if they'd write her a song for her solo album (all this takes place back in 93 or so, btw). Elvis replies that he'll only do it if he can write the WHOLE ALBUM for her. He and O'Riordan knock off ten or twelve punky pop salvos in ONE WEEKEND, EC makes the demos, and Wendy James has the whole package in less than a week. The songs are good, the album's production is terrible, and Elvis did a great Clash "inspired" job on this song. Ms. James may not have made a big splash, but she's pleasant to look at and the entire album comprises one of the more interesting side projects EC has done. Here's 'London's Brilliant'.

Winding down Austin

I got my hair cut thish afternoon, happened upon a tap room that had $2 pints of local Austin breweries, spent a considerable amount of time there, stopped by my favorite local music shstore, then my favorite local; "From Thish Perschpective," I see Nick Cave's latest 'Grinderman' project, and the Amy Winehoushe I bought for my wife. I just don't get it, Jay, but I haven't given it a lishen.

P.Sch. I got free tix to Schea World, so I'm going to take the boy to see the conditioned Killer Whales tomorrow.

This is doing it for ME today.

Only slightly more masculine than Jay's choice.

This Is Doing It For Me Today

Belle & Sebastian doing "Dress Up In You" live.

Quick - Who's The Better Drummer?

School's Out!

Oh my God and not a moment too soon. I love my students, but I am ready to be rid of them (and they of me) for a month or two. Today was the usual chaos of test-taking combined with energy and excitement. I've only been here for five hours and I'm exhausted. Rock and roll high school indeed.

Finally!

Now that nobody remembers or cares, I've uploaded the reunion show to the Fundamentally Tragic Pizzeria. I've decided that live recordings are about as flattering as fluorescent lights in a truck stop restroom.

On the benefits of a teaching career

Here's the precocious Zazie on Dave's noble profession:

“Personally,” declared Zazie, “I want to go to school until I’m 65.”

“Until you’re 65?” repeated Gabriel, just a teensy bit surprised.

“Yes,” said Zazie, “I want to be a teacher.”

“That’s not a bad trade,” said Marceline gently. “There’s the pension.”

“Pension my arse,” said Zazie. “Tisn’t for the pension that I want to be a teacher.”

“Well? Why do you want to be a teacher?”

“To bitch up the brats,” replied Zazie. “The ones who’ll be my age in ten years, in twenty years, in fifty years, in a hundred years, in a thousand years, always to have kids to beat the hell out of.”

“Well,” said Gabriel.

“I’ll be an absolute bastard to them. I’ll make them lick the floor. I’ll make them eat the blackboard wiper. I’ll stick compasses in their behinds. I’ll kick their bottoms with my boots. Because I shall wear boots. In the winter. Right up to here (gesture). With great big spurs to pepper their bots with.”

“You know,” said Gabriel calmly, “if you go by what the papers say, that isn’t at all the direction in which modern education is orientated. It’s even quite the opposite. The tendency is more towards gentleness, understanding, kindness.”

Zazie envisaged this future for a moment.

“Well then,” she declared, “I shall be a space-traveller.”

“Aha,” said Gabriel with approval. “Aha, have to move with the times.”

“Yes,” continued Zazie, “I’ll be a space-traveller and go bitch up the Martians.”

Knocked Up

We went to see 'Knocked Up' on Friday night (a good movie month for us- Pirates, Spidey, Knocked Up, and Ocean's 13 next weekend- more than we usually make it to in a year!). I'm sure you've read all the reviews- they pretty much have it right. Very funny, and definitely in the vein of 40 Year Old Virgin, i.e. sweet-natured and not only after cheap laughs. But there are plenty of those. The bit about the turd and the pubic hair alone ensures that! The protaganist and his schlubby friends are guys we can all relate to, even if we are a bit older than they are. There's a graphic scene of a crowning infant emerging from someone's v-jay-jay which should hold Lurker Mike's interest. Katherine Heigl looks delightful, but keeps her bra on for the sex scenes. Sorry Jay.

Today I am Forty

Another milestone reached, and a time for reflection:

At 40, my dad had raised three children, the youngest aged 12
I have no kids.
At 40, my dad had owned 3 homes.
I pay rent.
At 40, my dad owned and operated his own business.
I am a journeyman teacher.
At 40, my dad was well-known in the community.
I am rootless at the moment.
At 40, my dad had prepared for his (and our) future by saving and investing.
For the most part, I am still living paycheck to paycheck.

By the standard measures of 'success'and 'accomplishment', it is tough to compare. However, the following facts, much more important to me, are also true:

My dad never played in a rock and roll band, wrote songs, or recorded them. My dad never went to Europe. At 40, my dad had never lived in amazing places like Memphis, New Orleans, and New York. He had never been to Baltimore, Philadelphia, Washington DC, Mobile, St. Louis, Columbus, Natchez, Boston, Berkeley, San Antonio, Kansas City, Jacksonville, Nashville, Knoxville or Little Rock. He had never stayed out all night in the French Quarter or on the Left Bank. My dad had not read Chabon, Irving, Dickens, Proust, or Camus. He didn't have a college degree, nor did he and three of his idiot friends have a blog.

I am glad that he has always supported me in every decision I've made and I think he's been a little envious of my lifestyle from time to time, even if he didn't understand what in the hell I was doing sometimes.

Lurker, I think you've hit this particular milestone already? And Jay and Joe are close enough to kick it in the crotch. Today, I woke up the same as any other day, stretched, and felt glad to still be processing oxygen. Drink a 40 for your homie today y'all.

Gone!

I put my van up on Craigslist today, thinking it would take a while to sell. Someone called 5 mins after posting, and it's GONE! Amazing. One less thing to worry about. Of course, there's the small matter of transport, but...

Zazie in the Metro

Zazie in the Metro is the funniest damn book I've read in ages. The thing is, I don't know who else would find it so hilarious. It's like watching a Marx Brothers film, directed by Rob Reiner with dialogue written by Samuel Beckett. It hit my sweet spot square on, but would it be loved by other bastardos? Well, I don't know, but there it is.

Louis Malle apparently made a very successful film out of it. Have to track that one down.

Relax with Kenny G.

You know that back-on-LSD feeling you get when you stumble onto some really, really weird shit website that borders on mind blowing?

Get the Bingo Gazingo!

Get The Glass

You know that happy little kid feeling you get when you stumble onto a really, really cool website that borders on mind blowing?

Get The Glass!