LBU Is One Today

Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday to you
Re vera, potas bene
Will you live to see two?

Jesse Malin - Glitter in the Gutter

Picked this up today. It's got guest appearances by Josh Homme, Ryan Adams, Jakob Dylan and Bruce Springsteen (an actual duet). I haven't made it all the way through it yet, but it sounds pretty good. I loved his last two albums, and this one's getting good reviews (though a cover of 'Bastards of Young' is regrettable).

Anyway, For Thee, Pendejos.

My Wife Has Been Playing This Game For Years

An Edict from Above for Newbie Lurker Mike:

It has come to the attention of the Inner Sanctum of the Exalted Cabal that Newbie Lurker Mike has failed to incorporate an avatar into his profile. This causes great consternation as the reader of various posts must look for his name and not identify him by some witty image. Avatars for the other members were carefully chosen to reflect the personalities of the various bloggers: bobble-headed knick knack nerd for Dave; Leering, smug cartoon icon for Jay; Corpse of a cartoon for Joe. Newbie, you are hereby directed to create an avatar for your account by no later than the Monday three days hence. A smashing suggestion was made several posts back, but you may choose your own. Failure to do so will result in excommunication from the Bastardos, with heavy fines to be paid upon expulsion. Go forth! Go forth!*

* For technical issues re: avatars, please see Jay, leering, smug cartoon icon.

Pulp Fiction Typography

Uh ... You'll be wantin' headphones.

Speaking of Stuff from Scandanavia.. Elling

This wonderful little film from Norway is so well-done it will almost certainly be turned into a disgustingly sweet and obnoxiously heart-warming hollywood remake in the near future. Accept no immitations! Pop this one into your Netflix queue today and they'll send it to you, if I ever decide to return it. As an added bonus, both characters will remind you a lot of Jay.

Catchy Catchy Catchy Catchy

I heard this song on the radio today and almost had an accident it was so good. Swedish band called Peter, Bjorn and John. Maybe you've heard it. I don't know how new it is.



MP3 here.

Tee Hee

I thought it was gone forever, but I dug up a never-before-heard two part interview with Jim Dickinson on the recording of Big Star's Third/Sister Lovers. Lots of little known bits of trivia here.

How did I come by it, you may ask? A friend of mine knows Dickinson and recorded this with him about 12 years ago.

Everyone but Joe may download it from the Frilly Transsexual Princess in about ten minutes.

On a Happier Note...

From The Fix:

Calvert DeForest, the character actor best know for his long-running Larry "Bud" Melman character on "Late Night With David Letterman," died on Monday in New York. He was 85. Letterman said in a statement released yesterday: "To our staff and to our viewers, he was a beloved and valued part of our show, and we will miss him." (Los Angeles Times) ... In other obituary news, authorities announced that Charles Harrelson, Woody Harrelson's dad, died of a heart attack earlier this month at a Supermax prison in Colorado, where he was serving two life sentences for murdering a federal judge. (Guardian)

Larry "Bud" Melman was still alive? Woody Harrelson's dad murdered a federal judge? Jay's gay?

Found It!

What a cock.

I wonder what size smoking jacket I wear.....

My interview with John Wesley Harding for Being There, a pop culture online mag from Toronto, is finally up- and I got the 'cover'! Read the interview here and then dump buckets of praise on me for my hard-hitting, in-depth interview style. Boy can I make 'em squirm.

Because I Tolerate You.......

Due to semi-popular demand, I've added another Bob Dylan Theme Time Radio Broadcast to the FTP. The theme this time is drinking, and it is an excellent show. If you guys are into RapidShare and all that, all the shows are archived here. You'll be amazed at the huge collection.

And Now Back to the Music

While I'm not one of those fans who won't allow my favorite artists to grow and experiment, I also like it when said growth and experimentation is still as good as what attracted me to them in the first place. Case in point, Wilco. I have loved Jeff Tweedy since his Uncle Tupelo days and jumped up and down over the first two Wilco albums. The next three...not so much. I really liked them, and they each had some great moments, but (everybody has one) they got kind of boring after a few listens. Still, I have liked each enough to run out and buy the next one and really enjoyed the "Ghost Is Born" tracks the three times I saw Wilco live (including a taping of 'Austin City Limits').

With a new album out in May, they are streaming a track, "What Light" on their website, or you can download a zip file of it here. It sounds more like the rootsy stuff of early days, if not quite so rocking. If nothing else, it's made me enough of a potential sucker to buy yet another one of their records.

DeLay Gets Ass Handed To Him By ... Meredith Vieira?

Don't know if anybody saw the interview this morning on Today, but it was beautiful. Meredith Vieira interviewed Tom DeLay about his new book, No Retreat, No Surrender ... Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! ... heh heh ... ha ... HA HA HA HA HA! ... heh heh ... Whoo! Nothing like a good laugh in the morning ...

Anyway, Vieira talked about the book briefly and then raked him over the fucking coals for the remainder of the segment. I haven't seen tap dancing like that since Gregory Hines and Savion Glover faced off at the American Tap Dance Foundation's New York City Tap Festival! DeLay became visibly uncomfortable, and when Vieira asked him who he liked for the Republican primary, in perhaps the most bizarre political non sequitur I've ever heard, he answered that he thought Bush was doing a fine job. (???) She wouldn't even let that go, forcing him to admit that he wouldn't say.

If it pops up on YouTube, I'll post it.

Bong Hits 4 Jesus

The highest court in our land is considering whether a student was within his constitutional rights to display this sign across the street from his school. It may seem silly, but it's actually a pretty interesting issue, with some unusual collegues lining up on each side. Oh, and ever wonder what Ken Starr is up to these days? Representing the school that suspended the student for this! More here: http://www.cnn.com/2007/LAW/03/19/scotus.bonghits.ap/index.html

R.E.M. & The Rock 'N' Roll Hollow Fame

I don't know about you guys, but I've come to think that the Rock 'n' Roll Hall of Fame is a steaming crock o' shit, its members determined by a room full of geriatrics pretending they're still relevant in an industry that left them behind decades ago. (Oops, the Pynchon must be getting to me.) Check out the list of inductees and you'll see that it's laughably scattershot, almost as if bands were chosen by free association.

But I happened to catch Eddie Vedder's induction speech for R.E.M. the other night, and I must say it was rather moving. Mr. Vedder is actually a pretty funny guy, and much more self-deprecating than I would have suspected. Michael Stipe and Peter Buck said a few heartfelt thanks, and then the band proceeded to rip into "Begin the Begin," "Gardening At Night," "Man on the Moon," and the Stooges' "I Wanna Be Your Dog."

Today I've spent the morning listening to the R.E.M. albums that had a profound impact on me in high school. (That would be Reckoning, Fables of the Reconstruction, and Lifes Rich Pageant, in case you're curious.) And I must say, I'd forgotten how good this stuff is. So maybe the Rock 'n' Roll Hall of Fame does serve some noble purpose after all, to remind us of what made these bands so amazing in the first place. Maybe it's not just some bullshit marketing ploy to help drive tourist traffic to the museum.

On the other hand, I'm not sure it counts if the noble purpose is unintended.

The beauty that is Interstate 10

So I did Jacksonville, Fl to Austin, Tx in a Subaru Impreza with the kids in the back and the old lady griping all the way. Fun, fun, fun!

The job hunt improved, and there were some promising developments. Hopefully something will come up in Jacksonville. I spoke with one old private university that has done next to nothing with technology, and a Community College that has all kinds of things going on. Both could use a man like Joe, but whether the budget can afford him or not remains to be seen.

Let's get serious about St. Patrick's Day....

You know, it bothers me that in this country we have reduced the Irish to a beer-swilling, green-clad caricature. All the pithy sayings, the forward-looking toasts, and the alcoholic-as-poet archetype do nothing to recognize the incredible gifts the Irish have brought to western civilization. In fact, if not for the monks in the remote areas of Ireland, much of the literature we now hold as the foundations of western thought might not even exist anymore. In reality, the Irish penchant for bonhomie is really just a salve for the centuries of pain, famine, and subjugation this gifted people have had to withstand. The thanks we give them? Choosing a day to get drunk on green beer and carry on with ridiculously bad Irish accents that do nothing but besmirch the quickly disappearing tongue of this ancient race. Shame on humanity for lowering ourselves to this standard. In fact I ...... I ....... I ............. Oh fuck it! Kiss me blarneys, boys!

Ides of March: Significance in World and Punk Rock History

Caesar summoned the Senate to meet in Pompeii’s Theater on the Ides of March, (March 15) 44 BC. According to the Greek biographer Plutarch, a few days before, the soothsayer Titus Vestricius Spurinna apparently warned Caesar, "Beware the Ides of March." Caesar disregarded the warning. As the Senate convened, Caesar was attacked and stabbed to death by a group of senators. –Wikipedia

And in 1985, the punk group Thee Mighty Ceasars, fronted by Billy Childish, released their second album entitled “Beware the Ides of March,” which incidentally, was attacked and stabbed to death by a group of music critics.

Again With The Thankfulness

Scary math: More homes, fewer buyers

"The problem with subprime lenders means there will be more homes in an over-supplied market and not as many people who can step in to make purchases."

I ran across this article the other day, and heaved another sigh of relief. (That is, in fact, a satellite photo of my old house.)

You Want Beyond Beautiful? Cinque Terre!

A friend is planning a trip to Italy and asked me where to go. My answer is: the cinque terre, or 5 villages, overlooking the med. Accessible only by train or boat-- no cars! Nice hiking trails between them, it's a place of relentless beauty. Wherever else you go in the land of vendettas and vermicelli, you can't miss this one.

Seems like everyone I talk to is planning a trip somewhere. I'm starting to think about Italy, maybe next Spring.

Reunionmania!

Our dear friends at Something Awful have posted another rib-tickler regarding all of the current band reunions heading our way. Funny. A sample is posted below, with the full article found here.

The Police

The best known line-up: Sting, Stewart Copeland and Andy Summers.

Time Apart: A little over two decades, barring a few one-off performances.

Reason for Breakup: Sting wanted to pursue a solo career, and unfortunately for the world, he did. The band never officially "broke up," but I can only assume that each successive easy-listening barf-o-rama from Sting made the prospect of reunion more and more shameful to the other members.Reason for Reuniting: God only knows. It must have taken some kind of miracle, and possibly the aid of heavy machinery, to drag Sting out of his own butthole. Oh, and money.

After all these years, the Police still have the same magic that they had in their prime: none whatsoever. Even before the world knew that Ace Face was actually a hideous new-age tantric jazz hippie, it was perfectly possible to hate him for being the frontman of one of the dullest groups of the 80s. His mom-friendly reggae inflections combined with the band's annoyingly competent musicianship to create five LPs of declawed, phony new wave pabulum for yuppies, critics and girls.

Now that we know that Sting dreams of blue turtles, lies in fields of gold and performs with Yo-Yo Ma at the Olympics, there is not a single reasonable excuse for not hating him. Why should we care that he's rejoining his band and returning to his rock roots? His rock roots sprouted into a majestic oak of crap, the horror of which no musician alive can ever hope to match, unless Dave Matthews gets blasted with radiation and mutates into an atomic superpussy. Fuck the Police.

- Dr. David Thorpe

Proposed Avatar For The New Guy

The Devil's Dictionary

What’s with this insomnia business? Now you’ve got me doing it!

I couldn’t sleep last night, so I started thumbing through Ambrose Bierce’s The Devil’s Dictionary. It’s full of some wonderfully acerbic satire. Here are a few sample definitions:

Bigot, n. One who is obstinately and zealously attached to an opinion that you do not entertain.

Cabbage, n. A familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise as a man’s head.

Infidel, n. In New York, one who does not believe in the Christian religion; in Constantinople, one who does.

Egotist, n. A person of low taste, more interested in himself than in me.

Present, n. That part of eternity dividing the domain of disappointment from the realm of hope.

It may not cure your insomnia, but is a less extreme option than needle-eye Jay’s suggestion (exercise).

Amazing Amateur Lightsaber Film

This may be the most impressive amateur film I've ever seen.

You can also download a hi-res version here.

He Got Joo-Joo Eyeball

I had to go back in for yet another round of eyeball fixin' yesterday, after noticing a change in the blind spot in my left eye. The good news is, they were able to see me yesterday. The bad news is, they were able to see me yesterday.

Instead of using a laser to cut off the blood supply to the blind spot, they now inject a solution directly into the eye. WITH A NEEDLE.

Of course, they put numbing drops in, but even with that, I could still feel the needle pressing on the surface, and then the give (for lack of a better term) as the needle punctured my eye.

The really weird part is, I could see the solution being injected. It reminded me of the bubbly intro to Pop-Up Video - remember that show?

So my eye is red and achy today, I can't wear contacts, and I go back in a week to see if it worked. The solution only costs $30.00, but the injection costs $900.00. Insurance may or may not cover it, but I think I'm only liable for allowable charges, which I think is the $30.00 part.

And for the next three days, I have to use antibiotic drops that cost $75.00 and burn like Joe's VD. Loverly.

From our friends at the Onion, some good news at last...

GWYNEDD, Wales (The Onion) -- Calling it the planet's last, best hope for saving rock music, the Guardians of the Protectorate of Rock announced Monday that they would take the extraordinary step of unleashing a never-before-heard Jimmy Page riff, hidden for decades in a mythic, impenetrable vault.

"We who believe in the immortality of rock took a vow 30 years ago that we would never release this incredibly powerful force unless we faced a Day of Reckoning -- and that day has come," said Black Sabbath guitarist Tony Iommi, one of the chosen few who helped forge the Secret Vault to Save Rock and Roll, at a press conference in the Welsh highlands. "Just look at the pop charts, and you shall know I speak the truth."

"Let's give rock and roll its #%*@ing balls back," he added.

The Guardians said recent developments in the music world, such as the unaccountable popularity of the Dixie Chicks and Sufjan Stevens, have created a "perfect storm of lameness" from which rock might never recover. While Iommi refused to say when the vault would be opened, hard-rock sources believe it will take place just prior to next month's Fall Out Boy-Honda Civic tour, which many fear will suck the remaining lifeblood from all that still rocks.

"Citizens of Rock, we refuse to stand idly by any longer," ZZ Top founder and Protectorate High Elder Billy Gibbons said. "When a puss like James Blunt is allowed to rule the airwaves, we must respond by exposing this monster riff, and blowing minds into the stratosphere."

The Protectorate, devoted to the preservation of badass jams and blistering guitar solos, was reportedly formed in the 1970s during the rise of adult contemporary music. According to legend, the riff, played only once by Page and recorded on a special cobalt record, contains the raw power, mind-blowing skill, and unbridled passion of all the Guardians combined. Recently translated parchments from the era describe it as a soul-searing power-chord progression faintly resembling a cross between "Smoke On The Water" and "Living Loving Maid," but "basically defying all description."

It is believed that, upon the riff's release, even those who claim that the genre is dead will have no choice but to pump their fists, bang their heads, and bow down to the gods of rock for all eternity.

"May God have mercy on our souls for what we are about to set loose upon the world," proclaimed Queen guitarist Brian May, dressed in druidic robes and bathed in the rising blue smoke of a nearby fog machine. "Will it save rock or destroy mankind? We have no way of knowing -- yet we have no other choice."

Members of the Protectorate were each given only partial information about the location of the vault, which they were instructed to open in unison only in the event of a total Rockopalypse. While some believed the vault was buried in Boston, Chicago, Kansas, Europe, or Asia, others claimed it could be found in the Court of the Crimson King.

However, after piecing together clues hidden in Yes album covers and Pink Floyd liner notes, rock historians now believe the riff is locked away deep beneath the Welsh countryside house known as Bron-Yr-Aur, at rock-grid coordinates SH735026. British weather satellites have also photographed an enormous cloud, shaped like a hybrid of an upside-down question mark and cross, forming above these exact coordinates.

The vault's Key, regarded as too staggering a burden for any one man to bear, was divided in two parts, with half entrusted to Eddie Van Halen and half to David Lee Roth, shortly after Roth left the rock supergroup Van Halen. The two men, who have refused to work together for 20 years, recently announced plans for a historic reunion tour.

"Before we shake Heaven and Earth with the vicious power of this riff, we of the High Council of Elders of the Guardians of the Protectorate of Rock ask you: Are you about to rock?" AC/DC guitarist Angus Young said. "If so, we salute you."

When asked to comment on the possible dangers of using the riff, Sir Paul McCartney seemed surprised.

"There's a secret vault to save rock and roll?" McCartney said. "This is the first I've heard of it."

A Serius Problem

A guy I work with loaned me a satellite radio. It has a scree of channels, of course, including Playboy(?), an all Elvis station and my personal favorite, Road Dog: Talk Radio for Truckers. I think up places to drive to just so I can listen to it now. But it really requires 2 hands and all my attention, so little things like operating my vehicle are getting to be annoying distractions. (Giving new meaning to the EC line “radio is in the hands of such a lot of fools..”)

Comic Book Geek Out!

Zack Snyder, director of 300 and the upcoming Watchmen, has very cleverly embedded an image of Rorschach into the R rated 300 trailer at the 1:52 mark. Maybe the first easter egg in a movie trailer, I dunno.
From Wikipedia: "Rorschach is a fictional character, a superhero featured in the acclaimed 1986 DC Comics series Watchmen, arguably the main protagonist of the series. Wearing the inkblot-like mask he considers his true face, Rorschach has continued his one-man battle against crime long after superheroes became both detested and illegal. Rorschach’s actions and journal writings display a belief in objectivism and moral absolutism, where good and evil are clearly defined and evil must be violently punished. He has alienated himself from the rest of society to achieve these aims."

As an interesting bit of trivia, Terry Gilliam was once approached to direct Watchmen, but he determined that it couldn't be made.

Florida Update

It's still here.

My little sister got married. It was quite the bash. I gave a toast at the rehearsal and had 'em rolling in the aisles. Seriously, I killed. It was quite funny. Of course, I completely offended the groom's family -- as my family continued to do all weekend. We're from Tallahassee, they're from New Jersey -- it was bound to happen. I also partied with a dude (I partied, he laughed) who started a massive video game that changed all our lives. Like THE massive home system that we ALL played! He's a good friend of one of my cousins. Cool guy.

Job front has of course come to a screaming halt. Press on regardless, I say!

Love the posts so far, Mike Lurker. Keep up the good work. Hey...

Blogging From Greenwood

So Susan and I are in Greenwood, MS right now, in this weird boutique hotel in the middle of your typical small town Mississippi burg. Seriously, this hotel would be at home in Paris or New York City.

Later, bitches.

Klaatu Barada Nikto

One day, scientists and scholars may satisfactorily explain the wondrous and perplexing mysteries of the universe, such as how Stonehenge came to be, what really happened to the dinosaurs, or why I laughed at this for ten minutes the first time a I saw it.

(And why the totally unrelated title, you may ask? Because I'm the Grand Imperial Poo-Bah, that's why.)

White Chicks and Gang Signs

Here's an amusing concoction from some guy. I actually really like the song- musically its like a good Devo cut, plus we could be that guy.

Ireland Is Beyond Beautiful

Here's another shot from that 1997 trip that produced the Abbey Road photo. Man, I had forgotten how beautiful the Irish countryside is. This is a cow pasture beside the Cliffs of Moher. I've got to get back there one of these days ...

Oh, I almost forgot the best part. The day we were there, a guide told us that some French dumbass had plunged to his death the week before after dangling his legs over the side. (Exactly what they tell you not to do.) I guess Ireland is much less litigious than we are, as there are no rails to protect you. If you fall, it's your fault.

I'm outta here

I'm off to sunny Florida again for my sister's wedding and to try and scare up a job. I'll catch you bastards later. Mike, can you please try to come up with something remotely intelligent while I'm gone? I know Jay and Dave won't.

Gabba Gabba Hey

We accept you, we accept you, we accept you, one of us.

Through your faithful lurking and wanton disregard of your day-to-day work responsibilities, you have demonstrated beyond any reasonable doubt that you are a complete bastard, and therefore a worthy addition to this organization.

Los Bastardos Unidos welcomes Mike Lurker. More or less.

Maybe He'll Come Back as Eugenius...

Captain America is evidently killed off in the latest issue. Not being the comic book nerd that you bastards are/were (I had girlfriends in high school), I never really read him, but it's sad, nonetheless.

Story here.

Skip The Wait For Netflix Movie Streaming

From Uneasysilence:

"It was announced in January that Netflix would be slowly enabling all their subscribers to have streaming access to select movies in the “Q”. The problem is the rollout will take until JUNE."

Here's how to skip the wait.

Oh, Baby

If this sucks, I'll eat my shoes.

What Would YOU Do?

Kram called me last night as we were getting the kids ready for bed. It's probably the first time I've talked to him in three years, and he sounds like he's gotten himself together again. He's living a quiet existence Downtown, dating a nurse, getting along with his ex, still on the wagon.

Good for him.

Anyway, the true purpose of the phone call was to tell me the Subteens are getting back together for a reunion show in April. Cool! I've missed seeing the guys, and I've sure as hell missed playing with them. One show would be just enough, and it wouldn't require much of a commitment to prepare; maybe a handful of practices a few weeks before. This is sounding like a lot of fun. (All of these thoughts are running through my head as the words are coming out his mouth.)

And then, as I started asking questions, it became apparent that they want to play the show WITHOUT me, then have me get onstage as a guest at the end to play a song with them.

Seriously?

So, I've got to stand there like an asshole through an entire show, watching the band that I started and named play songs that I CO-WROTE (some before two of them were even in the band), and then maybe I get to play a song?

What would you guys do?

Daniel Johnston: Bipolar Music Genius Or Just Bipolar?

A couple of weeks back, we rented The Devil And Daniel Johnston from Netflix (who is not fucking with me nearly as much now that I'm keeping movies for a week at a time). I know you've prolly already seen it, but the film documents the incredibly sad trajectory of outsider artist and musician Daniel Johnston.

I won't bore you with a synopsis, but is Johnston the next Brian Wilson (as many hipsters in the film assert), or is he just a sick dude with some good ideas? I was leaning more toward music genius as I watched the film, but listening to his actual, uninterrupted songs, I'm back on the fence and tipping the other way. He's talented, but Continued Story/Hi, How Are You is as uneven as a Guided by Voices disc. (Rim shot!)

And maybe that's my issue. Bob Pollard is undeniably a music genius (in my mind), but he IS incredibly uneven. Does the fact that Johnston's hit-to-miss ratio is greater discount his ability? Because some of Johnston's songs are REALLY good ("Etiquette," "Poor You," "Desperate Man Blues"), but then some others are laughably bad.

Your comments are (begrudgingly) welcome ...

And Joe, you're welcome - wink, wink.

Adam Cohen

This guy's stuff is pretty good. A lot of the humor is derived from being a parent, but there's lots of other things to like. (Click images to embiggen.)
Happy Monday, bitches. More here.

The Only Two Things in Live That Make it Worth Livin...

A friend of mine and I took our bikes down to Luckenbach, Texas yesterday. Willy and Waylon and the boys weren't there, but there were a bunch of bikers and grizzled old guitar pickers waiting on them anyway. It's pretty much a tourist spot, but it was fun to get down there and hang out. Unfortunately, we had a cold snap after a couple of weeks of nice weather, so we froze our tails off on the way down.

That's Pretty Gay...

Thank God for Local News

You know, for all the crappy hairstyles, horrible banter, and awkward transitions ("......leaving sixteen dead in the fiery wreck. Speaking of heat, how's that forecast looking Bob?"), local news really does provide an important service. For instance, this clip from Grand Forks helps to educate the general public on the latest of all dangers to teens, emo culture.

Fargo Rock City

I'm about to finish Chuck Klosterman's Fargo Rock City, which is his
dissertation on why hair metal mattered both to the Big Picture and to
Klosterman as a teenager in a little farm community. It's a very scholarly
take on disposable culture, but very funny. Dave would love it, Joe would hate it.

Here's a taste, and it only tangentially relates to hair metal (so Joe can read this without being offended). Here, Klosterman sums up my feelings exactly about Courtney Love. Or at least my feelings, circa 2001. I don't think about her much now.

"[Courtney] Love's ability to fool intelligent people continues to baffle me. In 1991, she made Pretty On The Inside, and it was as remarkable as a bucket of vomit warming in the afternoon sun. By 1994, she had married Kurt Cobain and - surprise! - proceeded to "write" a record that's pretty amazing (and seemingly unconnected to her debut in almost every possible way.) Tragically, Kurt died the week before it was released. Courtney subsequently stopped making music ... until she renewed her friendship with Billy Corgan and - surprise! - released Celebrity Skin, another exceptional record with virtually no sonic relationship to Live Through This. Funny how this keeps happening. I hope Courtney starts sleeping with Trey Anastasio of Phish, because I'd love to see Hole become a jam band."

And that's just a footnote.

This Looks Good, Plus Insomnia Revisited

Dave, this is what I was originally looking for when I found the live action intro. All the best writers from past seasons are back.

Regarding the insomnia thang, the only other suggestion I can make is to work out, if you're not already. 30 minutes a day on an elliptical trainer or stationary bike three or four days a week can work wonders. I sleep noticeably better on nights when I've worked out.

I Am The Jackass! Goo Goo Ga Joob!

Found this photo while looking through some old slides. (Still digging the negative scanner!)

Yes, that's me in the famous Abbey Road crosswalk, circa 1997. The composition's not exactly right, but the woman and her kids were very friendly. Right before Susan took the picture, I was told by the mom that it didn't count if I wasn't barefooted.

Simpsons Live Action Opening Sequence

This is fickung brilliant. Leave it to the Brits ...

Download This Today While It's Free!

From Giveaway of the Day:

"Hard Drive Inspector is a powerful, convenient and effective program based on the S.M.A.R.T. technology, which allows controlling health of your hard disk drives.

Most computer users argue that information stored on their computer is the most valuable element of the computer system. With the help of the S.M.A.R.T. System, Hard Drive Inspector allows you to predict a possible failure of the HDD before this occurs. As the access to electronic information becomes more and more vital in business and at home, Hard Drive Inspector allows exceeding the traditional limits of HDDs reliability, thus extending the level of valuable user data protection.

Hard Drive Inspector has a flexible option system, which allows you to customize the functionality of this utility, according to your needs. Hard Drive Inspector has an easy-to-use, nice-looking interface. It also offers many useful features, which make the S.M.A.R.T. monitoring process full-scale and easy."

YOU MUST DOWNLOAD AND INSTALL TODAY or the deal is no good. Hard Drive Inspector retails for $29.95.

Oops

Five little squirrels with acorns to store.
One went to sleep and then there were four!
Four little squirrels hunting acorns in a tree.
One fell down, and now there are three!
Three little squirrels wondering what to do.
One got lost, and now there are two!
Two little squirrels tossing acorns for fun.
One got tired, and now there is one!
One little squirrel playing in the sun.
He ran away, now there are none.

Original Author Unknown

What A Nervous Breakdown Looks Like

The Presidential Timeline of the Twentieth Century

Certainly not as interesting as my dissertation, but along those same lines, here is the Presidential Timeline I've been working on. The big deal of it is the interactive timeline, which is still in development, but is now online. The part I worked on was the 'Educators' section. I would love Dave to look at it and give some feedback. Jay, you can look at it, but I don't care what you think.

The timeline is here.

And a couple of news items about it here and here.

The Only Reason To Watch The 2007 Grammys

Don't know if y'all caught the Grammys, but the Police performed publicly for the first time in a long while. They sounded amazing, but Sting had to work in that annoying vocal tic of his that I assume is supposed to make him sound soulful:

"I won't share, I won't share, I won't share, I won't share, I won't share you with another boy ..."

I did hear a rumor that the background vocals were canned, so that sucks.

Bacchus, Thoth, Krewe d'Etat, I'm on my way!

So tomorrow marks our annual sojourn to New Orleans for Mardi Gras. Oh wait. I used to live there! Its only been a sojourn since last year! You know, it really sucks to go there as a tourist. You have to find places to crash (usually on a floor) and you're always at the mercy of someone else's party. Having said that, it is still much, much better than not going. We'll see friends, catch some parades, eat crawfish, and get really, really drunk. Did I mention the drinking? Seriously though, although it cost us a lot to get airfare, etc., I am not yet psychologically ready to miss Mardi Gras. It's like telling a kid that Christmas is cancelled. And although I will be back in my classroom on Fat Tuesday, at least I'll still have the smell of vomit on my shoes and beautiful memories in my brain.

Kirby

1992 - 2007

Mike Viola (Candy Butchers)

Here's my latest music obsession. Dave probably already knows this, but Mike Viola is the guy who wrote "That Thing You Do" for Tom Hanks's movie a few years back. I always meant to check out his other stuff, but I just recently found a used disc of his at Spin Street for $1.00.

Apparently, the one I picked up (Hang On Mike) is more confessional than his previous work, as it deals directly with his disillusionment with the Big Time ("Superkid," "Hunker Down"), the death of his first wife from cancer ("Painkillers"), and even the abuse that his mother suffered as a child in foster care ("Charlie"). He's got a way with words, as well as the perfect power pop voice: pure as crystal, but rough around the edges when it needs to be.

Anyway, I couldn't find any videos from Hang On Mike, so you get one from Play With Your Head.

Sleeping Beauty and Bad Prescription Drugs

So I've had insomnia for the last couple of months. What a living hell. I've had short bouts here and there in the past but nothing like this. Doesn't matter what time I go to bed, I wake up at 3:40 or 4:00 every single morning. Every. Single. Morning. I could go to bed at 2:00 and I'd still wake up at 4:00. Sometimes I can doze back off, most often not. No proplems getting to sleep, I just can't stay asleep.

So after bitching and moaning and walking around like a zombie and having no energy for the past two months I finally went to the doctor. I suspect I'm having some PTSS issues regarding Katrina, but I really just wanted a little help for the very short term. The doctor prescribed Ambien.

I followed all the directions and took one at bedtime on Satruday night. Woke up at 4:15 a.m. Great stuff. But wait, it gets better. Around 10:00 a.m. Sunday morning I developed extreme nausea, uncontrollable tics and some pretty severe mental disorientation and mild hallucinations. Not the fun kind either. It was like coming down off of some especially potent acid or something. I've got the nail furrows on the tops of my hands to prove it.

I felt better at about 4:00 or so and promptly flushed the rest of my $50 prescription down the toilet. I'm glad it works for some folks, but not for this one. I'd rather have insomnia then ever go through that again.

My school supplies free shrinks to teachers so I've decided to try the therapy route. According to the doc, there's no physical problems. I don't feel stressed (no money problems, things are great with Caroline, job is no more annoying than usual) but there's got to be something in there. Anyway, if you are amongst those who sleep with no problem, thank your lucky stars, cause this sucks.

Advice? Opinions? Cash money?

Are you paying attention, Britney Spears?

Sadly, I doubt Elton John will pen yet another version of 'Candle in the Wind' for this one. RIP.

Technology Integration as Practice: A Case Study Examining Communities of Practice in a Ubiquitous Computing Environment

"The purpose of this study is to examine a ubiquitous/pervasive computing initiative from a community of practice perspective. It seeks to understand how faculty fit technology use into the already paramount goals they have for their students learning, and how that technology’s role becomes (or fails to become) a part of that essential domain. Furthermore, it seeks to determine whether or not a community of practice has emerged around the use of technology as a central practice."

I have my dissertation proposal today and I AM FREAKING OUT!!!

Pray for me.

D - E - D

Number three, for those keeping score. God, I hate squirrels now.

What I'm Reading Lately

I highly, highly recommend this book to you guys.

On the surface, it's the story of a struggle to survive in post-apocalyptic America, and it's just as scary as you would imagine total chaos to be: ALL flora and fauna are dead, food and shelter are scarce, it's cold and rainy, mummified remains litter the landscape ...

But the book's not really science fiction. The relationship between a father and son is what drives this thing, and the hope for a better existence in the face of total desolation. Reading this, it sounds like a real downer, but The Road is actually very uplifting (although there is some pretty grim shit going down).

There are several powerful themes, but here's one that stuck with me: under these same circumstances, would you be capable of killing your child if your own death were imminent?

Learn more here, where I discovered it.

My New Heroes!

This is too funny.