Snow Day!

Ha Ha you sorry sons of bitches. While you're at work, I'm off at home! Snow Day! Snow Day! Snow Day!

Innervisions

I picked up a vinyl copy of Stevie Wonder's Innvervisions last night. It is, in a word, fuckingsublime.

People keep on learnin'
Soldiers keep on warrin'
World, keep on turnin'
cause it won't be too long.
Powers a-keep on lyin',
while your people a-keep on dyin'
World, keep on turnin',
cause it won't be too long.

This Is Amazing ... And A Little Creepy

Either of you guys remember that Michael Crichton movie (with Albert Finney) called Looker? It's just a matter of time now, boys ...

The Monster Engine

Dave Devries creates paintings from children's drawings. Apparently, he was inspired when his niece drew a monster in his sketchbook.

More here.

My Newest Addictions

Having soaked myself to the bone over the holidays (God, how I love drinking beer and watching college football), I decided to go on the wagon for the month of January. Once I got over the shakes and the nightmare hallucinations of Jay's mother pole dancing to Abba, things got a little easier, but I'm ready for January to die. Actually, I have my dissertation proposal on the 7th of Feb, so I'm thinking of extending it until then.

In the meantime, I'm preoccupied with these:

The Hold Steady - Uncut's album of the month last month. I have it on order and will post it to the ftp when it arives.

Midlake (from Texas). Great song, weak video.

The View. Evidently the next big thing out of the UK.

Now there are some customer reviews I can use!

Sent to me by my esteemed colleague in mischief, Mr. Andrew Hetherington of Washington D.C., here are some fantastic Amazon.com reviews. I wonder if they're being sarcastic........

Bring a change of underwear before you start reading.

M. Ward

Either of you ladies heard of this guy? I know Lurk Miker hasn't.

Museum Of Bad Album Covers

Translation: "Dear Mother ... A bouquet that never wilts"

Yikes. I think this site made the rounds a few years back. Funny, creepy stuff.

Plenty more where these came from.

Duck Dodgers In The 24½th Century

Ian is a big fan of Cartoon Network's Duck Dodgers. So, from the mid-20th century (1953 to be exact), here's the original seven minute short in all its glory. Enjoy.

Bonus trivia: the theme song for the new Duck Dodgers series is sung by Tom Jones, but do you know who the band is?



The Flaming Lips!

Apparently 'Journalism' includes Merlot and Pancetta.

Finally getting around to a short report on my interview with John Wesley Harding, which will be published in the March issue of Being There. I haven't actually written the article yet and I'm not sure if it will be a simple transcript of our conversation or something else, but I'm sure it will be absolutely brilliant.

Caroline and I took the subway to Brooklyn and got there an hour or two early to get the lay of the land. We stopped into a bagel shop for a bagel and coffee, and as we were leaving noticed a group of people walking down the street. One of the men had a cute baby strapped to his chest. As my gaze went up from the baby's face, I realized that it was JWH who was carrying the baby! I stopped him and explained that I would be meeting him in a couple of hours and after an initial bit of confusion (I honestly think he'd forgotten our appointment), he kindly introduced us to his baby and his mother and step-father. He made sure I knew where the bistro was we would be meeting and continued on. I thought it was funny to run into him out of all the people in Fort Green!

At the restaurant we split a bottle of Merlot and enjoyed some fantastic pancetta and mozarella crepes and talked about the recording of his new album (with the Minus 5 as his backing band), fantastic Seattle folks like Kurt Bloch, and how much the music business has changed. We also discussed his writing (novel #2, By George, to be published in August) and the differences in writing songs and writing novels.

He was a very gracious and open guy, who truly seems to be having the time of his life. Our lunch turned out to be more of a 'chat' than an 'interview' which was great because he made me feel very unselfconscious in my role as 'journalist'. He's a great talker, and even though I'm sure he'd heard some of my questions many times before, gave expansive and detailed answers. He also gifted me with a copy of his new DVD (of a Seattle concert performance) and asked all about New Orleans and my own musical history. A great experience.

If you're interested in his music, I'd recommend Adam's Apple, Here Comes the Groom, or New Deal as great places to start. His highly acclaimed novel Misfortune is just fantastic, and if you're a fan of Dickens or any other 19th century literature I guarantee you'll love it.

Remember Rock And Roll Confidential?

"Sure, Shattyrd brought the rock, but they were most proud of their 160 degrees of surveillance."


"Wait! They're trying to spell something! S..E..N..D..C..O..C..K."

This guy's output has slowed considerably, but I still check back every once in awhile.

Enjoy band mediocrity here.

Yes, SOLD

We closed yesterday and John Doe closed this morning.

I'm overwhelmed with relief, happiness, and a paranoid fear that none of this actually happened. But mostly I'm happy. What the hell am I going to worry about now?

Thanks for listening to me bitch for the last eight months. Your reassurances along the way that the house would sell significantly contributed to my grip on sanity, as I begrudgingly respect you guys.

Raise the roof.

Coke Adds Life, Calories

The other night, I saw someone on TV talking about giving up soft drinks to lose weight. Intrigued (it doesn't take much), I did the math. One Coke a day for a month is 3,720 calories. Keep in mind that 3,500 calories adds up to one pound. Holy cellulite, Batman!

Over a year, a person could lose almost 13 pounds, just for giving up the White Man's sugar water. Where do I sign?

He's too young, he's too inexperienced, and he says 'extra ordinary,' but...

Is there anyone you really like better?


We're having winter storms down this way, so it's been a four-day weekend for us. Woo hoo!

Ain't This A Bitch

I can't even read my own freaking blog at work anymore! Damn you and your potty mouth, Joe! Seriously, I can't figure out what flagged us for the naughty Web site list, except maybe going underground. Mike Lurker, you got any theories?

He'p me!

My Stomach Hurts

Definitely NSFW. Definitely very, very funny.

Going Underground

Some people might say my life is in a rut
But I'm quite happy with what I got
People might say that I should strive for more
But I'm so happy I can't see the point
Something's happening here today
A show of strength with your boys' brigade and
I'm so happy and you're so kind
You want more money of course I don't mind
To buy nuclear textbooks for atomic crimes
And the public gets what the public wants
But I want nothing this society's got
I'm going underground (going underground)
Well the brass bands play and feet start to pound
Going underground (going underground)
Well let the boys all sing and let the boys all shout for tomorrow

What've you got to hide, Jay?

I say keep it pubic. I mean public. You know, jay...if you wanted, I could e-mail you some pictures of naked ladies.

What Is Joe Looking At?

He's just noticed that he is not listed as a contributor on this blargh.

Why? That's right! He hasn't upgraded yet. Come on in, the water's fine. (And Dave hasn't peed in the pool yet.)

But seriously folks, do you guys want to take the LBU underground? It would prolly help put Joe's troubled mind at ease ...

CONTRACT!

You read it here first. Single Guy (aka S.G., aka John Doe) made an offer weekend before last! I didn't want to say anything until the contract was negotiated and the inspection was done, but there you have it.

We've got a few small things to fix, but we're scheduled to close a week from Wednesday.

Relieved? Nah. (Okay, maybe just a smidge.)

Children of Men: Best Movie in Ages

Go see this movie ASAP. Man is it a corker. Based on the novel by mystery writer P.D. James, Children of Men looks at a dystopian Britain in the year 2027. Due to an unexplained pandemic of female infertility, no children have been born since 2009. Clive Owen is a former activist who is enticed to smuggle a young refugee, and her secret, out of the country.

Not only does this have a great look, fantastic performances (Michael Caine as a dope-smoking former political cartoonist), and a thought-provoking premise, the visual sequences quite literally left me breathless on occasion. You'll love the world's slowest getaway scene and the long single-take scene in which a car is attacked is a wonder in this day of cheap CGI shit. The entire thing is shot from the interior of the car - you are there. Amazing.

I'm a junkie for '70s movies- films that told a story and developed characters and concentrated less on the more technical aspects of film-making. Much of modern cinema leaves me very, very cold. This movie was a refreshing change of pace and one I'll be thinking about for ages and ages.

UPGRADED!

Sweet success.

There really are some pretty cool new features, but the new Blogger is just easier to use overall. One thing in particular I really like is the ability to drill down to previous posts without reloading pages. (That was really a pain in the ass to me.)

I also like that we can add labels for posts, so we can categorize topics if we wanna. Music, current events, movies, Joe's mom ...

Finally, we can effectively limit who can read this train wreck. It can be set so that only we three can read it, or we can invite only certain people to have access. Maybe then "Joe" would lighten the fuck up and post some decent nudie pics ...

Of his mom!

To Upgrade Or Not To Upgrade?

I ALMOST upgraded to the new version of Blogger until I hit this page. Apparently, if I upgrade, you Bastards (and I mean that will all the respect that the title confers) can't post until you upgrade. Hold on there, Thparky! Dave, it looks like you have to have a gmail account to upgrade, but I'm not sure.

What do you guys think? Take the upgrade tour and see for yourself. There are some advantages, but maybe not enough to warrant the move. We'll create the Bastards United For Upgrading (BUFU) Council, table it, and see where it goes.

Best Christmas Present Ever?

Soozan gave me this book for Christmas.

In a word, DAMN.

Essentially a compilation of articles from Sounds magazine as punk was happening, the book has a certain immediacy that is lacking in other books about punk that simply "remember when." Part of the fun of this music and the surrounding culture was that nobody knew what the fuck was going to happen next. The Clash weren't rock royalty yet; hell, they weren't even the only band that mattered. They were just a bunch of unemployed musicians hoping to catch a ride on the Sex Pistols' coattails.

If'n you're looking for some reading material to pass the time and entertain, you could do worse.

New Fantastic Four Teaser Trailer

I hate getting excited about movies that I know are going to suck like Joe's mom at a biker rally, but this trailer almost makes me forget the abomination that was the first FF movie. Almost.

Watch it here.

Happy Christmas!

Hope Santa is good to you.

Weird Science?

Harp Magazine has a damn fine online interview with Tom Waits from their December issue. (In fact, he's the cover boy.) Waits mostly talks about the various phases of his career.

Fascinating guy, to say the least.

Read it here.

Terrible Westerberg news....

This, from Paul's semi-official website Man Without Ties:

Dec. 20, 2006: Sorry to have to report some bad news today. Jim Walsh posts in his blog that Paul had a nasty injury to his left hand, cutting some nerves and damaging cartilage, and is currently in a cast. The details:
"A week or so ago he put a screwdriver through his left hand trying to get some wax out of a candle and cut some nerves and ripped some cartilage and hurt himself pretty bad. He's in a cast. He's seen a couple doctors who say he won't be able to play guitar for a year."
So please send out some good thoughts or say a prayer to the divinity of your choice for a speedy recovery.

This Is Kinda Fun

Stefan G. Bucher's Daily Monster. Each day, this guy posts a video of himself creating little monsters out of random ink blobs. He begins by dripping some ink, blowing it around with a straw, turning the page to get some ideas, and then ... viola (sic)! Within a few seconds (the video is sped up), he draws a new creature. I wish I had this kind of talent and creativity. My son and I watched these for 30 minutes last night until he had to go to bed.

See it here.

I really need an outlet...for my teenage lust!

"Miss USA Tara Conner is on the verge of losing her crown after testing positive for cocaine, lustily kissing Miss Teen USA in public and sneaking men into their Trump Place apartment, sources tell the Daily News. "

Lustily. Kissing. Miss. Teen. America.

Hmm. Excuse me.

Bands I Hate.

5. Styx - Paradise Theater, I hate it. Ugh. And don't get me started on the fucking robot song. Ugh.
4. Abba - Seriously, nothing makes me want to hit someone or something more than an Abba song. Except an Abba Video.
3. Tears For Fears - Shout! Shout! Let It All Out! Tears for Shut the Fuck up!
2. Motley Crue - and pretty much every other hair band. I can't even get nostalgic about that shit.
1. Loverboy - There is not a song they do or a person in that band that doesn't just suck beyond all hell. I hate them more than almost anything else in the world. Even Jay.

Mmmmm.....creamy ranch.....

From the "Dear God in heaven what is happening in our schools" Department, please check out this Smoking Gun report on a special ingredient added to the salad dressing in one Chicago school and the humiliating letter the principal had to send home:

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/1215065salad1.html

Keep 'Em Crossed ...

Single Guy came back for a second look yesterday, which is marginally encouraging, but we're proceeding with the plan to take the house off the market tomorrow. Our agent will let S.G.'s agent know that if he still wants to make an offer, we'll work with him. The next step, as I may have mentioned before, is to stage the house and put it back on the market in a few weeks when things start picking up again.

We're on month seven, guys ...

Phrom the Least Surprising News Department:

Phish phrontman and phamous phretser Trey Anastasio has apparently been arrested in New York for driving under the
inphluence and possession of prescription medications in someone
else's name. The world collectively shrugged when informed of
this latest celebrity bust, and wondered why it hadn't happened sooner. Maybe if Trey does hard time his phriend Dave Matthews will come by the pen and they can play a phabulous show for the inmates. Or, maybe Trey will spend his days stroking his phallus instead of his axe. Or wait, wasn't he doing that before?

Peter Boyle Bought It

"While a generation of TV viewers knows him as Frank Barone - with his trademark "Holy crap!" line - Boyle had a respectable career long before "Everybody Loves Raymond" debuted in 1996, including a part in Martin Scorsese's "Taxi Driver," in which he played a philosopher cabbie who counseled Robert DeNiro's angry character.

Boyle was also close friends with John Lennon, who was best man at Boyle's wedding."

Story here.

Big Audio Dynamite

There's a pretty cool Mick Jones interview over at The Onion's A.V. Club. It's just a one-pager, but he still dishes on the Clash exhibit at The Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame And Museum, his favorite Clash album, how he and Strummer collaborated, and what he's up to these days.

Enjoy it here.

Threadless

I heard about this company on NPR. It's a business built around an online community. Members design, then vote on t-shirts, with the winning designs getting produced. Shirts are surprisingly cheap, and there are some pretty cool designs. I think winning designs get a couple grand. Jay, something to think about in your free time.

www.threadless.com

AAARGH

There's a single guy in from out of town who looked at the old house last week. Out of nine houses, he liked ours the best. Instead of being excited about this, I feel like I'm going to throw up. We've been at the top of several lists before. That may mean that he really likes it or thinks it sucks the least of everything he's seen.

He's going to be spending this week looking at more houses. Not very comforting.

Cannibals...poo poo... Instructional Technology...pshaw

Now all I want to do is listen to Gil Scott-Heron.

Neanderthals Were Cannibals, Joe Confirms

MADRID, Dec. 5 -- Neanderthals suffered periods of starvation and may have supplemented their diet through cannibalism, according to a study of remains by Joe.

Joe studied samples from eight 43,000-year-old Neanderthal skeletons excavated from an underground cave in El Sidron, Spain since 2000. The study sheds light on how Neanderthals lived before the arrival of modern humans in Europe.

Joe found cut marks and evidence that bones had been torn, which they say could indicate cannibalism.

"There is strong evidence suggesting that these Neanderthals were eaten," says the study's lead author, Joe, in Madrid. "That is, long bones and the skull were broken for extraction of the marrow, which is very nutritious."

According to Joe, there is evidence of cannibalism in Neanderthal remains from other European sites.

"I would say this practice.....was general among Neanderthal populations," he said.

Joe intends to continue his examination of Neanderthal skeletons until shortly after Christmas when he will return to the United States to hang out in Austin with his family while continuing his educational 'studies'.

"This study has borne many surprising and fascinating fruits. However, in a couple of weeks, I must table this research for a good 6 or 7 months and return to my family and educational 'studies'. Fortunately for us, these Neanderthal skeletons aren't going anywhere and there will be a time in the not so distant future that I will be able to re-focus my attentions on this, my second greatest passion, the cannibalistic tendencies of Neanderthals."

Now boys...

Here's a funny article on Eagles of Death Metal leaving the GnR tour featuring Tommy Stinson throwing his bass down in disgust after Axl refers to the openers as 'Pigeons of Shit Metal.' Or not doing it, depending on who's talking. Hail hail rock 'n roll...

No, This Is The Shot Where Joe Told Us To Look Badass

I think we all nailed it.

Were We Ever This Young?

Pophead on the Gilmore's roof ...

Are we genetically programmed to become Bruce Springsteen fans when we hit middle age?

When I was in high school and the Boss was in his Born in the U.S.A. heyday, I hated Bruce Springsteen. Part of it was due to the fact that I liked Black Flag and Iron Maiden at the time, part of it was due to the fact that Springsteen and "Bahhnnn in da USA" was sort of omnipresent, and part of it was due to the fact that my friends hated Bruce 'Springfield'. Ha!

Evidently the joke is on me. For the past couple of years, much as I have done with Bob Dylan, I have come to 'get' Springsteen. And while I still believe that some of the 'workin' man' stuff is a little overbearing, I've gotten past that to the point that the beauty of songs like 'Atlantic City', 'Racing in the Streets', 'The River', 'Wreck on the Highway', 'Badlands', 'Prove it all Night', and even the ubiquitous 'My Hometown' have become clear to me.

This hasn't been a quick conversion for me like it was with Dylan. I bought the Nebraska album over ten years ago, feeling justified because it was his stark, daring album. I decided to pick up The Essential Bruce Springsteen a couple years ago, as well as The Rising. Then, it was just as with Dylan. It was like a lightbulb went off and I suddenly realized I was a Springsteen fan. Plain and simple. Darkness on the Edge of Town, The River, The Ghost of Tom Joad, Greetings from Asbury Park and Born to Run all followed in quick succession.

Yesterday I sealed the deal. I bought Born in the U.S.A. And you know what? I like it.

CanoScan CS8600F

Christmas came early!

What does this mean to you guys? Once I'm done scanning all the negatives of my nude photos of Joe's mom, I'll start scanning all the negatives from the infamous pophead photo shoot(s).

Yes, I found them.

And begrudgingly, I'll admit that Joe took some pretty damn good pictures. I'm scanning at 2400 dpi, so these should print up nice 'n' purty. When I've got a few done, I'll FTP 'em.

So Dave ...

Have you guys decided where you're headed?

This ain't over, Motherf#@*er

We're coming for you, Hines! How many of us do you think you can kill? Huh?

One Of The Cute Little Bastards Destroying My Attic

We got squirrels, but hopefully not for long. I took this picture before leaving the house this morning. Ah, sweet revenge ...

Incidentally, the company that we're using doesn't catch and release; this squirrel will sleep with the fishes.

While you guys are evidently recovering from turkey poisoning...

I've been working. Yes, hard at work on my latest Christmas album for my family. Unfortunately for them, the songs I choose to put on the Christmas album tend to be dark, dire, sad, and concern the lives of junkies, dead cowboys, lost souls, and bad Santas. This year I'm including my version of Hallelujah. I think I'm the 3,657th person to record this song. My version isn't as good as Jeff Buckley, Rufus Wainwright, Leonard Cohen, Damien Rice, or Bono, but it is a damn sight better than versions by Oscar the Grouch, Clay Aiken, and Terry Bradshaw. Pop on over to my Myspace page for a preview.

Your Hollywood Moment

Stephen Shainburg, director of the very strange but very good Secretary, has made a movie about Jay's fave photog, Diane Arbus, called Fur: An Imaginary Portrait of Diane Arbus. Nicole Kidman and Robert Downey Crackhead star. Trailers, etc. here. Pray for nudity.

Same Five Questions

1) What is your earliest childhood memory?
2) What three personal items would you take from your burning home?
3) What did you want to be when you grew up?
4) What are your five all time favorite albums?
5) What is something you'd like to change about yourself?