Saturday, December 28, 2013

More Year-End Lists: What Did We Get Stuck In Our Rectums This Year?


Praise the searchable database: The Consumer Product Safety Commission is the resource for the compilation below. Here is what your fellow Americans are inserting this year:

PENIS

  • penis plug
  • 20-30 magnetic bucky balls
  • dice
  • fishtank airhose
  • antenna
  • sewing needle
  • dental floss with beads
  • marble
  • embedded domino in penis "to please the ladies"

    • VAGINA

  • glue stick
  • small finger vibrator - "it's still on"
  • "long black object"
  • penis ring
  • rivet
  • spoon
  • pencil eraser
  • napkins in vagina to have sex during period

    • RECTUM

  • soda can
  • soda bottle
  • flashlight
  • bathtub stopper
  • shot glass (broken)
  • sock
  • end of curtain rod
  • "big purple dildo"
  • toy submarine
  • "patient states he was experiencing an itchy rectum and inserted a remote control to scratch"
  • "patient states he got drunk and passed out at girlfriends house, awoke with spoons and dildos in rectum"
  • pool ball
  • lit bottle rocket; "it didn't go well"
    • at

    5 comments:

    1. MikeSaturday, December 28, 2013 7:10:00 PM

      I wonder if the toy submarine was full of seamen.

      ReplyDelete
    2. EricSaturday, December 28, 2013 7:37:00 PM

      That deserves a rim shot.

      ReplyDelete
    3. JayMonday, December 30, 2013 8:21:00 AM

      What the fuck is a penis plug?

      ReplyDelete
    4. EricTuesday, December 31, 2013 12:40:00 PM

      Jay it's one of those extra plastic attachments that comes with your vacuum cleaner or dustbuster.

      Try it.

      ReplyDelete
    5. JoeThursday, January 02, 2014 11:54:00 AM

      Looks like a typical weekend for Jay.

      ReplyDelete