In case you were wondering what those acronyms on your Dad's chart mean, this handy guide is quite amusing. For example:
• 3H enema –enema used to punish uncooperative patient – "high, hot, and a hell of a lot."
• DBI - Dirt Bag Index: number of tattoos x number of missing teeth = days since the patient last bathed
• DTMA - Don't Transfer to Me Again.
• Handbag positive - confused elderly lady lying on hospital bed clutching handbag
• NOCTOR- Nurse who has done a 6 week training course and acts like she's a Doctor
• TEETH - Tried Everything Else, Try Homeopathy
• TTFO - Told To Fuck Off
• UBI - Unexplained Beer Injury
I have sustained a number of UBIs in my day. Although the beer may be explanation enough. Thanks for the help in deciphering dad's charts.
ReplyDeleteHey, are those doctors or vets?
ReplyDelete'Chocolate Hostages' would be a great name for a band.
ReplyDelete