Los Bastardos Unidos

Shit

2012-02-01T08:03:00.000-08:00

Don Cornelius has apparently boarded the great Soul Train in the sky. I used to watch that show every Saturday after cartoons were over. Thus began my journey into funkiness and soul. Anyway, sounds like it was suicide. Sad.

Spring Break '82

2012-01-31T10:49:00.000-08:00

Extra Scurf is the latest from Spring Break '82, the latest from an old friend of mine, the ever prolific Mike Coleman. David and Jay may remember him from a Singing Spoons record I played for them years and years ago. It's heavy and weird and I don't know what to say about the album cover...Farts Through Photoshop?

Matthew Broderick's Day Off

2012-01-30T12:58:00.001-08:00

Clever-ish Honda Superbowl ad.

This Kinda Creeps Me Out...

2012-01-28T06:52:00.000-08:00

There's been a little too much gratuitous nudity on this here blargh, so I thought I'd step in and bring us back down to the normal low brow antics.

Some dude with too much free time and too much artistic merit decided to re create Beavis and Butthead in 3D form. My only question is "why hasn't this been done before?"

On second thought, maybe I shouldn't have posted this. Someone quickly do a post with boobs so we don't have to view this for too long...

If you haven't seen enough and want more, click here.

Happy birthday beloved founding Bastard!

2012-01-28T06:07:00.000-08:00

Everyone sign the card!

Wow, Look At That Sweet Rick Hofner bass!

2012-01-27T07:10:00.000-08:00

The Ladybirds were an actual '60s era girl group from Jersey.

What Yoko Problem?

2012-01-26T19:37:00.000-08:00

Frank, John and.. Jesus H. Christ. (And you thought the church guy was bad.)

There Is No God

2012-01-26T06:54:00.000-08:00

This Hits Dangerously Close To Home

2012-01-25T15:22:00.000-08:00

Sad Ha Ha

2012-01-24T11:34:00.001-08:00

Is The Future Here Yet?

2012-01-24T06:51:00.000-08:00

How many passwords and usernames you bastards have to remember?

Grammar Nerd Humor

2012-01-20T07:52:00.000-08:00

Wiliam Safire's Rules For Writers

Remember to never split an infinitive.
The passive voice should never be used.
Do not put statements in the negative form.
Verbs have to agree with their subjects.
Proofread carefully to see if you words out.
If you reread your work, you can find on rereading a great deal of repetition can be by rereading and editing.
A writer must not shift your point of view.
And don’t start a sentence with a conjunction. (Remember, too, a preposition is a terrible word to end a sentence with.)
Don’t overuse exclamation marks!!
Place pronouns as close as possible, especially in long sentences, as of 10 or more words, to their antecedents.
Writing carefully, dangling participles must be avoided.
If any word is improper at the end of a sentence, a linking verb is.
Take the bull by the hand and avoid mixing metaphors.
Avoid trendy locutions that sound flaky.
Everyone should be careful to use a singular pronoun with singular nouns in their writing.
Always pick on the correct idiom.
The adverb always follows the verb.
Last but not least, avoid cliches like the plague; seek viable alternatives.

Underwearld

2012-01-20T06:07:00.000-08:00

I haven't seen any of these fine films, but apparently Kate Beckinsale's ass is a recurrent character. Underworld Awakening out today.

Forecast: Snowballs

2012-01-19T13:33:00.000-08:00

video platform video management video solutions video player

Chains of Love

2012-01-17T15:02:00.001-08:00

Latest single from Ryan Adams. I'm still listening to Ashes & Fire on a regular basis. That is all.

Zombierific

2012-01-17T12:18:00.000-08:00

I'm reading the novel right now and it's making me awfully excited for the film. If you haven't read the book, I highly recommend it. The scary thing is, if you can suspend disbelief for the premise, it's probably pretty accurate as far as how something like this would go down.

Haw Haw

2012-01-17T06:33:00.001-08:00

Volcanic Green Energy

2012-01-16T05:51:00.000-08:00

Geothermists are going to pour 24 million gallons of water into the side of a dormant volcano in Oregon this summer in possibly the awesomest green energy move we've ever seen.

"They hope the water comes back to the surface fast enough and hot enough to create cheap, clean electricity that isn’t dependent on sunny skies or stiff breezes — without shaking the earth and rattling the nerves of nearby residents." Story here.

I'm no scientician, but I'm sure the idea was inspired by that Brady Bunch volcano science project episode...

Peek-A-Boo!

2012-01-13T06:50:00.000-08:00

Happy tastefully nude Friday the 13th.

One For The Pooh Bah

2012-01-12T18:35:00.001-08:00

Sorry, but I was getting tired of that guy's face.

Once Upon A Beginning

2012-01-09T10:05:00.000-08:00

This seems to be up our collective alley, but I'm too busy/lazy to write a proper description. It's got Richard Ayoade and Matt Berry from The IT Crowd, and here's what the sometimes-reliable Wikipedia has to say:

Garth Marenghi's Darkplace is a British dark comedy show made for Channel 4 by Matthew Holness and Richard Ayoade. Following on from Garth Marenghi's Netherhead, which won the 2001 Perrier Awards, the show revolves around fictional horror author Garth Marenghi (played by Holness) and his publisher Dean Learner (played by Ayoade).Darkplace is presented as a lost classic: a television series produced in the 1980s, though never broadcast at the time. The presentation features commentary from many of the "original" cast, where characters such as "Marenghi" and "Learner" reflect on making the show. Darkplace parodies numerous aspects of '80s low-budget television, including fashion, special effects, production gaffs, and music, as well as the widespread practice of including commentary tracks on DVD releases of old films and television shows.

Darkplace was broadcast in a late-night timeslot, with very little advertising, and met with poor viewing figures. The show nonetheless built up a significant internet following, leading Channel 4 to swiftly repeat the series and produce a DVD release. It was also reported that Channel 4's Film Four had asked Holness and Ayoade to write a script for a movie version of their programme.

Embedding is disabled but episode one, part one can be found here.

Post-Holiday Madness!

2012-01-06T17:49:00.001-08:00

Uh, hard to blow off.

Myth of the Tortured Artist

2012-01-04T11:36:00.000-08:00

Tweedy's the shizzle.

And Then There's This

2012-01-03T08:40:00.000-08:00

I FTP GBV, SOB(s).

¡Happi Nu Yr!

2012-01-01T19:53:00.000-08:00

Keep on rockin in the free world, you bastards.

Gone, And Already Forgotten

2011-12-28T11:09:00.001-08:00

In Memoriam: Bands We Lost In 2011 from stereogum on Vimeo.

Stereogum's list of bands that called it shits this year. I've only heard of a half dozen or so of them, and really only gave a toss about one (and it's not REM).

Shit

2011-12-28T08:00:00.000-08:00

Cheetah has gone to monkey heaven.

Who knew he was still alive? Those movies were as much a part of my childhood as Cap'n Crunch and lunchboxes.

2011, Buh-Bye!

2011-12-27T15:24:00.000-08:00

FedEx In The News

2011-12-27T08:38:00.000-08:00

Thermals Keep Me Warm

2011-12-27T05:33:00.000-08:00

If you don't got no Thermals, better get you a damn Snuggie.

Hope You All Got My Card

2011-12-23T11:20:00.001-08:00

Remember Tonto Tonto?

2011-12-23T09:56:00.000-08:00

Jay does! This is the same guy as a singer in the Sopranos. Ha ha

Oh, Baby!

2011-12-22T14:21:00.000-08:00

Saw this trailer last night before The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo. (The brief glimpses of the space jockey's ship gave me geek wood.) I know Ridley Scott's good movies are few and far between these days, but color me cautiously optimistic.

We Have A Contender

2011-12-22T07:38:00.000-08:00

Look out Weiland, Billy is hot on your heels for shittiest Christmas album this year.

Disintermediated Content!

2011-12-21T06:40:00.000-08:00

Louis C.K. is selling his new hour-long comedy special for $5, DRM-free at his own website.

His own take on this new model of distribution:
The show went on sale at noon on Saturday, December 10th. 12 hours later, we had over 50,000 purchases and had earned $250,000, breaking even on the cost of production and website. As of Today, we’ve sold over 110,000 copies for a total of over $500,000. Minus some money for PayPal charges etc, I have a profit around $200,000 (after taxes $75.58). This is less than I would have been paid by a large company to simply perform the show and let them sell it to you, but they would have charged you about $20 for the video. They would have given you an encrypted and regionally restricted video of limited value, and they would have owned your private information for their own use. They would have withheld international availability indefinitely. This way, you only paid $5, you can use the video any way you want, and you can watch it in Dublin, whatever the city is in Belgium, or Dubai. I got paid nice, and I still own the video (as do you). You never have to join anything, and you never have to hear from us again.

Our Grand Poo-Bah in Action

2011-12-19T17:29:00.000-08:00

I was proud to see this video of our grand poo-bah providing half time entertainment this weekend...

This totally looks like Eric's avatar.

I've Ordered My Copy

2011-12-19T10:19:00.000-08:00

Pick yours up here. Also, just on a housekeeping note, someone's been overfeeding Munchie.

Shit

2011-12-19T06:33:00.000-08:00

Shit

2011-12-16T13:48:00.000-08:00

What is it you most dislike?
Stupidity, especially in its nastiest forms of racism and superstition.
― Christopher Hitchens, Hitch-22

Holiday Treats / TGIF Division

2011-12-16T04:39:00.000-08:00

Who's ready for Feats of Strength?

Holiday Treats / Overachievers Division

2011-12-15T07:11:00.000-08:00

Beats fruitcake.

Cinema 2011: It Occurs To Me That I Don't See Enough Movies

2011-12-14T19:57:00.000-08:00

What convinced me that I'm now officially out of touch: I kept waiting for scenes from Lord of the Rings. I guess that must've been last year (or earlier).

Jack MFing Davis

2011-12-13T14:27:00.000-08:00

The A.V. Club posted a chat with Jack Davis that's certainly worth a look. (Davis is pitching a new book.)

His name may not be spoken in the same breath as Harvey Kurtzman’s or Wally Wood’s, but few artists made as profound an impact in as many corners of the EC comics empire as Jack Davis. His supple style lent itself as well to the gritty battlefield stories of Two-Fisted Tales as to the gleeful grotesques of Tales From The Crypt, and when Kurtzman convinced EC head William Gaines to let him head the company’s new humor magazine, Davis left a formidable stamp on Mad as well. Unlike many of his peers, though, Davis spun off his comic-book work into a highly successful illustration career, doing covers for Time and TV Guide as well as iconic movie posters for the likes of It’s a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World, which, according to Fantagraphics’ new career-spanning collection Jack Davis: Drawing American Pop Culture, netted him an annual salary that at its height stretched into seven figures. Now in his late 80s, Davis has naturally slowed down in recent years, but the book has provided the occasion for a well-earned victory lap, which brought him to New York’s Society Of Illustrators for a talk with The A.V. Club.

Check it out!

Holiday Cheer

2011-12-12T11:25:00.000-08:00

I'm sure that you bastards will getting your drink on this holiday season, so I thought I'd share this little chart with you. Now you'll have a little guide to keep you in line so you don't over-do it and barf in the punch bowl...

2011-12-11T19:34:00.001-08:00

I don't know what this is from, but go to around the 2:35 mark. I dare you.

Oh yeah, I saw Wilco on Friday night in Milwaukee! I picked up a shitty ticket (balcony) for cheap, the show was within walking distance of my hotel, and the bar was close to my seats. Nick Lowe was great and the his coming out to do Cruel to Be Kind with Wilco was certainly my concert highlight of the year.

Who Loves Ya?

2011-12-09T17:31:00.000-08:00

Happy Friday.

TGIF Don't Let This Happen To You

2011-12-09T06:31:00.000-08:00

Don't let an overcommitted holiday season keep you from embracing your inner reveler.

Book for the Undiscerning Bastard

2011-12-08T09:25:00.000-08:00

If the widely accepted theory that the best way to judge a book is by its cover is true, then I think this would be surprisingly awesomer than some other proposed holiday reads. And if fonts are your thing, this instant classic has pages and pages of them.

More Books For The Discerning Bastard

2011-12-08T07:41:00.000-08:00

Enjoying the journey here -- a passage in the Jobs biography about calligraphy and fonts got me Jonesing for the above book. Surprisingly awesome read. You comic enthusiasts all need a copy.

At Least They Got The Original Cast

2011-12-06T05:22:00.000-08:00

Midseason premiere! Who's in?

More All-Name Team 2011 Nominations

2011-12-05T06:43:00.001-08:00

BEAT FEUZ

This guy is a Swiss ski racer. I don't speak uh, the Swiss, so one of you more worldly types can clue us in to pro-nun-ci-ation. For now I'll do it my way which is "beet fuse".

Depressing Flash Fiction

2011-12-04T14:37:00.001-08:00

"For sale:
Baby shoes. Never worn."
E. Hemingway

Think you can do better? Let's hear it.

Have You Tried Turning It Off And On Again?

2011-12-01T13:32:00.001-08:00

Any IT Crowd lovers? They need to hurry up with season five. (Or maybe Netflix does.)

Bastard Book Report

2011-11-30T05:20:00.000-08:00

We sat on the patio outside his room and talked for two hours. I was really nervous, because he was one of my heroes. And I was also afraid that he wouldn’t be really smart anymore, that he’d be a caricature of himself, like happens to a lot of people. But I was delighted. He was as sharp as a tack. He was everything I’d hoped. He was really open and honest. He was just telling me about his life and about writing his songs. He said, “They just came through me, it wasn’t like I was having to compose them. That doesn’t happen anymore, I just can’t write them that way anymore.” Then he paused and said to me with his raspy voice and little smile, “But I still can sing them.” -Steve Jobs, on his meeting with Bob Dylan. [in Steve Jobs by Walter Isaacson]

Any of yous don't have the Jobs biography and need some fine holiday reading for your damn Kindles, this is a real page-turner. I'm no accomplished reader like our edumacator and book-blogger, but iRecommend this anyway.

Nominations for 2011 All-Name Team

2011-11-28T06:48:00.000-08:00

MUNCHIE LEGAUX

I got too many helpings of college sports this weekend, but...finally an heir to Barkevious Mingo! For those playing at home, Category = College Athletes or New Orleans Bands Dave Once Fronted

Priceless

2011-11-27T17:26:00.001-08:00

No, You're Not Confused

2011-11-23T08:28:00.001-08:00

Nothing Says Holidays....

2011-11-23T06:01:00.000-08:00

...like Electric Six! Right? Or am I confused again?
I'm partial to the original viking kittehs, but this'll do. Cheers!

My New Motivation

2011-11-22T14:52:00.001-08:00

The Best Christmas Album You've Never Heard

2011-11-20T12:20:00.000-08:00

Holiday compilation from a company called Dust to Digital. Check 'er out.

Name Our New Hamster

2011-11-18T08:55:00.000-08:00

Nothing Can Hurt Me

2011-11-17T19:11:00.001-08:00

There's this...

And then there's this...

http://omnivorerecordings.com/

Ooh

2011-11-17T17:30:00.001-08:00

And not in a good way ...

Scott Weiland's whole un-ironic Christmas album is streaming here. How long can you listen? I can't make it past the second song, "I'll Be Home For Christmas."

I gotta think he lost a bet or something ...

Jay Has Already Asked For My Collection So Don't Ask...

2011-11-16T09:31:00.000-08:00

There's something ironic about a special dildo being kept at Bank of America. Actually, that's not ironic at all.

Parts Is Parts

2011-11-16T08:54:00.000-08:00

I know you guys are all trying to figure out what to get me for Kwanzaa ... my wish list includes this Tom Servo replica! Full Kit available on eBay.

What, Me Worry?

2011-11-13T05:18:00.000-08:00

Cool article on a rare reunion of some of MAD's most iconic contributors.

There Are Stones In My Rice Krispies... And Possibly Drugs

2011-11-11T15:11:00.000-08:00

Mick, Keith and the boys wrote this little jingle to make Rice Krispies that much cooler back in the day. The commercial only ran in England. Imagine how many more krispies would have been sold had it aired in Amurica...

Hot Elevens to You All!

2011-11-11T08:45:00.000-08:00

I celebrated with a midnight double-handed rock salute in the general Stonehenge direction. Clearly something radical in the hazy cosmic jive this morning as my alternator overloaded on the morning commute!

2 In The AM PM

2011-11-10T15:19:00.001-08:00

One of JG Quintel's student films. (He created Regular Show.) Not for kids!

Oh Yeah!

2011-11-09T14:39:00.000-08:00

The 2/7 of the Bastards who took advantage of the Foo Fighters Fangasm '11 had a great time. We had full access to everyplace except the actual stage and the dressing rooms. Our friend Geof showed us the tour buses, all around backstage and a detailed look at the guitars and rigs of all of the players. We watched from all over the venue from side stage to the 'cage' section for VIPs in the middle of the floor where Grohl performed a couple of solo acoustic numbers. Even free beer from the tech cooler at side stage! Afterward we went to the hospitality room and hung out and caught up with Geof. We didn't meet the band, but I did get a high five from Dave Grohl as he came off stage. The show was awesome and the experience one of a kind.

In the video below, we were standing directly under Grohl's right arm (he's on a riser in the middle of the crowd).

We've All Been There

2011-11-09T13:44:00.001-08:00

Decision 2012

2011-11-09T09:42:00.000-08:00

Finally, someone explains the Presidential candidate choices in a way I can understand.

Asteroid YU55

2011-11-08T07:12:00.000-08:00

Below is a picture of the asteroid passing close to the earth today. Finally figured out where I've seen its like before..

Why, you 55! Why you coming to destroy us all?

I Dare You Not To Love This Song

2011-11-07T07:04:00.000-08:00

I've been singing the chorus all weekend -- lyrics via random Mike Tyson quotes.

Brother, Can you spare a Tap?

2011-11-06T07:24:00.000-08:00

Inexplicably, I can't locate my copy of Smell the Glove. Any Bastards want to Fatten the Posterior of my iPod? Nigel Tufnel Day is nigh...

Remember Tonto Tonto?

2011-11-04T18:16:00.000-07:00

Jay does. This is the same guy. Now Maximilian is King.

Naturally, I LOVE This Song...

2011-11-04T17:40:00.000-07:00

I don't think these guys are around anymore.

Ha Ha

2011-11-04T09:28:00.000-07:00

God bless Andy Richter.

Can't Hardly Wait

2011-11-04T07:22:00.001-07:00

It's only a week until 11/11/11 -- do you all have your best latex underwear?
Once again, Bastard World B. Dave's rock-n-roll interview/songfest is slated for the interwebs this weekend.. will it actually happen?! Is he as quotable as Nigel Tufnel? Stay tuned.. Streaming info at lower right.

This Is A Classic

2011-11-04T06:53:00.000-07:00

TGIF, mofos.

Before There Was Danger 5 ...

2011-11-02T14:47:00.000-07:00

There was ... Italian Spiderman! (Same guys.)

Gourd Be Praised!

2011-11-02T04:44:00.000-07:00

These are the work of a college friend of mine. He's been doing this for years; luckily his wife captured a few of this year's creations.

BRAINSSSSSSSS!

2011-10-31T14:19:00.000-07:00

Ariana Huffington is reaching out to a new audience.

Pirates Drink Free!

2011-10-31T13:01:00.000-07:00

Because What's Not To Love About Hitler And Dinosaurs

2011-10-31T11:31:00.000-07:00

Danger 5. This looks pretty awesome.

I would buy action figures for this show if they make them.

Happy Halloween, Bastards!

2011-10-31T10:21:00.000-07:00

I got a rock!

Do You Like Country Music?

2011-10-29T07:00:00.000-07:00

Me neither, but I'm trying. There's an occasional series on a music blog called 'A History of Country Western Music' and I like to download the offerings once in a while. Follow The Plaintive sounds if you wish, there's some pretty good stuff.

Yep

2011-10-28T12:37:00.000-07:00

Biophilia

2011-10-28T11:05:00.000-07:00

No idea if we have any Bjorkologists among the greater bastardate, but her latest album is not so much an album as an experience. It's all gettin' your interactive on & shit. Biophilia for iPad has apps for each song; you can explore the themes and create your own version. The "ultimate" edition includes a wooden box with ten chromed tuning forks, each one adjusted to the tone of a single album track.
My affinity for Bjork extends mostly to the film "Dancer in the Dark" (she was fantastic) and a lingering desire to imitate her distinctive voice - it would be such a good go-to impersonation, you know? I don't know a single song of hers.
Anyway, one of you iPad-havin' bastards please review this album and get back to us, and Heavy D make sure your next album includes all the internets and twitter and Tesla coils and tuning forks and such.

Speaking Of Animated Halloween Festivities

2011-10-27T09:27:00.000-07:00

Somehow, I've never seen the Rankin/Bass (Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, Santa Claus Is Comin' To Town, The Year Without a Santa Claus, etc.) produced Mad Monster Party? starring Boris Karloff and Phyllis Diller, but it's streaming on Netflix. Any Burton fan would probably be into this too, right? Apparently, Harvey Kurtzman was one of the writers!

Anybody ever watch it?

Every Holiday Is a Tim Burton Holiday

2011-10-26T07:53:00.001-07:00

With Halloween looming, Burton imagery abounds. Above is the design for Burton's Macy's Thanksgiving Balloon. Combining this with The Nightmare Before Christmas, he appears to be taking over all of our holidays. I applaud this trend.

Anybody Else ...

2011-10-25T12:05:00.000-07:00

Bad As Me?

Failure To Participate in this survey is grounds for disbastarding.

Har Har

2011-10-25T08:45:00.000-07:00

Anybody see the remake? Anybody planning to?

Ouch

2011-10-21T15:17:00.000-07:00

It's never funny when someone falls down. Unless it's Axl.

What To Read While You're Not Listening to the New Ryan Adams

2011-10-20T07:44:00.000-07:00

First Take Pity on yourself for not loving Ryan Adams the way Dave and I do, then go an read a nice article from the AV Club that circles an idea from a nice article about Noel Gallagher by Chuck Klosterman on Grantland (my new favorite web-site?) back to Ryan Adams and the inevitable 'Heartbreaker' comparisons every one of his albums gets, then read this interview with DRA, again from the AV Club. Reaction papers on my desk by noon tomorrow.

Periodic Table of Swearing

2011-10-18T14:45:00.000-07:00

Click to embiggen (worth it), and click here to view the un-embeddable video.
My favorite swearing elements are Icc (International Cunt Circus) and Mfm (Mother Fucking Mother Fucker).

What You Get When You Go Chasing After Vengence

2011-10-17T07:44:00.000-07:00

Something Worth Arguing About

2011-10-14T12:13:00.000-07:00

There's a good article over on The Selvedge Yard that revives the great Fawcett v. Teigs debate of the 1970s.

As a boy growing up in the 1970s, I can tell you with absolute authority that there were two women who were on every pubescent boy’s mind– Farrah Fawcett and Cheryl Tiegs. Sure, there were others– but Farrah & Cheryl were the cream of the crop. And the major rite of passage was to have one of their epic posters up on your bedroom wall. That was huge. It showed you’d graduated from the land of legos and had entered the exciting, awkward, and confusing hormonal journey into manhood. Are we there yet?

I myself would have to go with Farrah, but I must admit to spending a lot of time drooling over this picture when it first appeared in the SI Swimsuit Issue. You can see her boobs!

If you're not familiar with the site, the Selvedge Yard is worth hours of your time.

Free Radio Dave

2011-10-13T20:20:00.001-07:00

Our own rockstar / playboy / ne'er-do-well Bastard B. Dave (shown here without makeup) will be featured this Sunday on Radio Free Nashville. He's too unassuming to promote his own fucking awesomeness on this blorg.

I plead complete ignorance and lameness regarding the existence of the above radio outlet in my own backyard. My local airwave affinity extended only to WRVU - the Vanderbilt student station - until it vanished from the dial this year when its license was auctioned off & gobbled up by... wait for it... public radio. No joke.
WRVU was my commute compadre and I haven't bothered to figure out HD Radio yet (Jay?), nor realized that some of the shows I liked ("Cat Beast Party", "Nashville Mixtapes", the sublime "Nashville Jumps") found a home on Free Radio Nashville.
The link above provides interwebs connectivity so we can all listen to Durham's Own Alt-God from 2-4pm Sunday Sunday Sunday.

The program is free - I think Dave said that the sponsor is the Library of Appalachia.

Modern Art

2011-10-10T13:51:00.000-07:00

I've only given this one spin, so I'm Feeling The Product still. Let me know what you guys think.